Weird/Crazy stuff people have said to you/you've heard.

happyninja42

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So I was just randomly thinking about something that I was told when in high school, and it just made me realize "man that was really fucked up. I'm pretty sure this dude was full of shit". So I thought I'd share a few examples of things that people have said to me, or around me, that made me go "what the fuck?"

Example 1: I was in high school, in art class, and we had a substitute teacher that day. And she decided to play a VHS of some guy who was a friend of hers, who was giving an art lecture at another class. The idea, was that he had traveled abroad (don't recall where, but it was somewhere in the middle east I think, this was back in the 90s), and he was telling us what it was like. And I kid you not, he told us a story of some place (don't remember where), where a local dish was...shit-bread. Yep, you read that right. Shit....bread. He said, that they would take their shit, throw it on a wall, and let it bake in the sun, and then they would work it into bread.

Example 2: Same school, different class, they played us a video of some religious dude, basically preaching to us about how we shouldn't have pre-marital sex, because it was an afront to god, as we would be "rutting in the fields like animals".

Example 3&4: Same dude, said both things, which these days I find even more disturbing than I did back then. We were at a Waffle House, late at night, just talking, me and several friends, and this guy, who was a friend of a friend. I had only really met him that night, and they started talking about guns and violence. And this guy, a fairly overweight, sweaty, greasy haired white dude that just screams the poster child of school shooter said "Yeah I hate physical violence..." which at first got my attention, as I thought he was about to talk about being a pacifist or something, but then he followed it with '...that's too much effort." He then made a gun gesture with his fingers, and said "i'd rather just apply 2 pounds of pressure to pull a trigger and shoot you." Which made me just sort of do a double take and blink in bafflement. To so casually discuss killing someone to save them physical exertion. Later, this same guy, talked about how he and his dad, had been mapping out their house, to try and find out just how many guns they would need to have, and where they would need to be, so that no matter where in the house you were standing, there was a gun within arms reach of you.

.....so yeah that was a really messed up dude.

Example 5: Same night, same situation as examples 3&4, another guy at a nearby table, overheard us talking, specifically that guy, and as we were getting up to leave, he called me over. Now I'm a fairly friendly guy, and I'm comfortable talking to just about anyone that comes up to me or talks to me, so I stopped and listened to him. He proceeded to tell me, that he was a Vietnam veteran (it would check out, based on his age at that time, but no way to confirm it then), and he was fairly troubled by the way that we were casually talking about guns and killing. Now I didn't point out that I had said nothing of the sort, as I am pretty much a pacifist, and despise guns of any kind in real life, but he clearly needed to get something off his chest, so I let him talk. He then proceeded to tell me stuff like how when they were in their choppers flying over a hostile zone, the standard procedure was to take your helmet off and sit on it, as you were more likely to take a bullet up the ass, than in the head when flying overhead. I think said basically "Sorry to hear that, I wish there was something I could do to help you. " To which he said "If you want to help me, you can go with me out to my car, take the gun I have in the truck, and shoot me in the head, because I'm too scared to do it myself."

So that was a fun night.

So what about you? What weird and fucked up shit have people said to you
 

Hawki

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There isn't really that much that sticks out in my mind. I'm going to avoid stuff like religion or spirituality, because that's kind of like shooting fish in a barrel, and some people would say it isn't crazy, and, well, you get the idea. That said, I guess what comes to mind is:

Example 1: Woman comes into the library, wants to use the printer, won't shut up about radiation from cell phone towers. Y'know, 5G, only it wasn't 5G. Usual microwaves, radiation, etc.

Example 2: Another guy in the library. He had a condition (I don't know its name) where he couldn't touch things without gloves on, and certainly not paper - some kind of phobia of his skin touching things. That said, he wasn't crazy. Like, he wanted us to print stuff out for him and look up material, because he was seeking to disprove Einstein's theory of relativity. My initial (unspoken, because I'm a professional damn it) was that it was a bit kooky, because as far as I'm aware, the theory is fairly sound. But as we talked, it was clear that he certainly knew a lot about physics, and certainly more than me. Whether he disproves it or not someday aside, I actually felt sympathy and admiration for him. Sympathy for his phobia, admiration for his intelligence.

Example 3: A guy complaining about Star Trek, saying it was unrealistic, because the aliens being able to be punched out in one blow shouldn't apply, because chimpanzees are stronger than humans. I decided not to point out that Star Trek has an in-universe explanation as to why most of its aliens are humanoid (least I think it does), and tried to point out that there's nothing inherent in biology that would mean a humanoid alien species would automatically be stronger than humans, but the conversation was getting weird.

And yes, this was at the library as well. I'm sensing a pattern here.

Example 4: Poor girl with schizophrenia (yes, at the library again). She claimed that she was hearing something from the ground floor. Handled it as best I could. Eventually security came to escort her out. Wasn't violent or anything, I just didn't have the training to deal with this kind of mental illness.

I'm sure there was other weird shit I heard over the years, but these are the ones that come to mind.
 

happyninja42

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Example 2: Another guy in the library. He had a condition (I don't know its name) where he couldn't touch things without gloves on, and certainly not paper - some kind of phobia of his skin touching things. That said, he wasn't crazy. Like, he wanted us to print stuff out for him and look up material, because he was seeking to disprove Einstein's theory of relativity. My initial (unspoken, because I'm a professional damn it) was that it was a bit kooky, because as far as I'm aware, the theory is fairly sound. But as we talked, it was clear that he certainly knew a lot about physics, and certainly more than me. Whether he disproves it or not someday aside, I actually felt sympathy and admiration for him. Sympathy for his phobia, admiration for his intelligence.
Thing is, I actually would question if he did know a lot about physics, or if it just sounded like he did. There are a lot of Armchair PhD's out there, that say big words that sound impressive, but when you actually talk to someone in the field, they're response is "yeah that's bullshit, and it doesn't even work like that. they don't know what they are talking about."

Example 3: A guy complaining about Star Trek, saying it was unrealistic, because the aliens being able to be punched out in one blow shouldn't apply, because chimpanzees are stronger than humans. I decided not to point out that Star Trek has an in-universe explanation as to why most of its aliens are humanoid (least I think it does), and tried to point out that there's nothing inherent in biology that would mean a humanoid alien species would automatically be stronger than humans, but the conversation was getting weird.
Yeah people can be really weird about speculative science fiction. I remember getting into an argument with a guy online, when I commented about how I disliked the ratio of "hostile aliens" to "non-hostile alien" stories in our culture, and how it is conditioning our species to be pre-disposed to distrust aliens. And his response was "You have no evidence that they would be friendly, that's pure speculation." and then proceeded to put another stamp in his hypocrite card by following it with "The fact is we would have nothing in common with them, and they would have zero reason to have any regard for our species at all." And he didn't seem to understand that he was speculating as much as I was. However my thoughts were, "if we assume they are at least on par with us intelligence wise, it's not unreasonable to think that they would be able to comprehend the idea of another species and having empathy for it. We have plenty of examples on Earth that empathy is fairly common among a lot of lifeforms, particularly ones with higher levels of intelligence. So is it really that far fetched to think they might contemplate alien life (us) the same way we do them? Namely that many of us don't want to have any assumptions of them being hostile, when it's just as likely they might not be. I mean WE can contemplate that, and if they are comparable to us in mental abilities, why would it be impossible for them?" But he didn't seem to see how his statement was just as speculative, and declared it as FACT.

But yeah, scifi nerds can be incredibly tyrannical about how things are depicted.
 

Palindromemordnilap

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Example 2: Another guy in the library. He had a condition (I don't know its name) where he couldn't touch things without gloves on, and certainly not paper - some kind of phobia of his skin touching things. That said, he wasn't crazy. Like, he wanted us to print stuff out for him and look up material, because he was seeking to disprove Einstein's theory of relativity. My initial (unspoken, because I'm a professional damn it) was that it was a bit kooky, because as far as I'm aware, the theory is fairly sound. But as we talked, it was clear that he certainly knew a lot about physics, and certainly more than me. Whether he disproves it or not someday aside, I actually felt sympathy and admiration for him. Sympathy for his phobia, admiration for his intelligence.
Do you think he was legit trying to disprove the Theory of Relativity or do you think it was more an academic exercise sort of thing? Test for himself how sound the theory is, see what sort of effort you'd have to go to to try and counter it, look for possible new angles to see it in, that sort of thing. Like how there are people out there who have gone to considerable effort just to prove that one plus one does in fact equal two.

Struggling to think of examples of my own. I think the most applicable might be the time a guy from my school tried to convince me he was his own identical twin to try and get me to retract what I'd said to some teachers about him trying to pick fights with me at bus stops
 

Xprimentyl

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My (white) girlfirend and I (black and hispanic) met a guy at the bar a few years ago who, once my girlfriend went back inside after our smoke break, was eager to tell me he was a reformed neo-nazi, proceeded to show me several of his tattoos, then invite me and my gf to a strip club in another city to do cocaine and hang out. Yeah. No.
 

happyninja42

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My (white) girlfirend and I (black and hispanic) met a guy at the bar a few years ago who, once my girlfriend went back inside after our smoke break, was eager to tell me he was a reformed neo-nazi, proceeded to show me several of his tattoos, then invite me and my gf to a strip club in another city to do cocaine and hang out. Yeah. No.
LOL
 

BrawlMan

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I remember an ex-friend of my brother and I when were kids (well I was a kid, my brother and him were 15), and said ex-friend said he could relate to Pennywise (the miniseries version; he never read the book) and his mentality spoke to him. Apparently, he related to Pennywise because he felt like an outside loner/freak. I thought the comparison never made sense, and it's creepier even now. I wonder how he feels now, or even remembers saying that. Yes, because when I think relatable, it's a homicidal, evil inter-dimensional alien being, that can whatever form it wants, and eats children and is a stand-in for a pedophile. Some people really don't listen or don't care what comes out of their mouths.
 
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happyninja42

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I remember an ex-friend of my brother and I when were kids (well I was a kid, my brother and him were 15), and said ex-friend said he could relate to Pennywise (the miniseries version; he never read the book) and his mentality spoke to him. Apparently, he related to Pennywise because if he felt like an outside loner/freak. I thought the comparison never made sense, and it's creepier even now. I wonder how he feels now, or even remembers saying. Yes, because when I think relatable, it's a homicidal, evil inter-dimensional alien being, that can whatever form it wants, and eats children and is a stand-in for a pedophile. Some people really don't listen or don't care what comes out of their mouths.
I find that strange, because it's not like Pennywise got any character development in that show. He was the mysterious antagonist, so he would only show up in snippets, and those were all creepy, stalkery snippets. So...yeah that's a weird thing to empathize with, given how little actual screen time he has.
 

BrawlMan

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I find that strange, because it's not like Pennywise got any character development in that show. He was the mysterious antagonist, so he would only show up in snippets, and those were all creepy, stalkery snippets. So...yeah that's a weird thing to empathize with, given how little actual screen time he has.
I won't go in to details, because it gets too personal, but he came from a really broken home, and had a ton of issues.
 

Kyrian007

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I really don't wish I could remember most of it. I work overnights at a radio station. People call late at night with the weirdest crap they want to talk about. I've got a guy calling these days who keeps asking me to tell the mayor we need more zeppelins. Yup, rigid airships. Advertising on the sides and passenger counts to create more local business opportunities. He will go on and on and on about zeppelins. I'd complain more about it, but its actually refreshing considering the number of crazies calling with religious or racial mumbo jumbo that's just generally horrific. Or the complaints by extreme right or left wingers complaining about our news "bias" (the fact we get both demonstrating pretty well we call it with no actual bias.) Or the idiots with all of their facebook forward or twitter post "evidence" wondering why we don't report the "truth" about whatever bs happens to be bothering them at the moment, I've heard it all... 4g causes cancer, 5g spreads COVID-19, chemtrails inhibit testosterone production, fluoride is mind control, Obama is a Kenyan/Satanist/reptilian, and so on. And they actually believe all of it, and don't understand why others don't... after all 'everyone they know on Facebook' believes it. After all that zeppelins in Kansas (and if you know our weather, you know at least one huge reason why it isn't a "good" idea) seems bizarre but harmless really.
 

PsychicTaco115

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This one girl on Tinder said I looked like a school shooter. That wasn't very nice but what can ya do?
 

PointlessKnowledge

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I've had arguments with a friend trying to convince him that ducks are indeed birds and that butter is not an element.
 
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CM156

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My (white) girlfirend and I (black and hispanic) met a guy at the bar a few years ago who, once my girlfriend went back inside after our smoke break, was eager to tell me he was a reformed neo-nazi, proceeded to show me several of his tattoos, then invite me and my gf to a strip club in another city to do cocaine and hang out. Yeah. No.
I'm sorry to have bothered you.

This one girl on Tinder said I looked like a school shooter. That wasn't very nice but what can ya do?
When I met with some people I knew in high school a few years after graduation for a lunch, they told me that back then, most everyone in my class thought I was going to shoot up the school. I just "looked like the type." Apparently it was a running joke for them. Their reasoning: I grew my hair long , was extremely awkward, and didn't socialize with nearly anyone.

The strangest thing I ever heard was in a rideshare ride about two years ago.
I got in and noticed the driver had a Palestinian flag on his dash. I commented on it, and he told me he was from Palestine. We had a bit of a conversation about Palestine after I said that I was sympathetic to the Palestinian people and their desire for self-determination. He then starts telling me how they've been let down by their leadership. But not in the way you think. You see, every Arab leader since 1940 was/is, according to him, a Zionist Jew. And, in his words, this includes Yasser Arafat, the entire Saudi and Jordanian royal families, as well as Mustafa Kemal Ataturk. The fact that Ataturk died in 1938 and was a Turk, not an Arab, seemed to escape him. He told me that I could learn about it all in The Protocols of the Elders of Zion. By this point, he had whipped himself into an emotional frenzy. I just went along with what he was saying because I was too afraid to disagree with him. When I got out I thanked him for the ride and told him I would look into the websites he told me about.

I still gave him 5 stars because he did a good job at driving me.
 

ObsidianJones

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So, one time in at a bar in Manhattan (where all weird stories take place), I was hanging with a couple of my friends. They normally invite me because I don't drink and I drive into the city, so yay for them, a built in DD.

But no, they were great people and I loved hanging with them. One night, a friend decided she was going to bring a friend that she made in acting class. Sure, why not?

So her friend eventually comes, and she makes the rounds being introduced to everyone. And then it comes to me and then she stops. She's like transfixed on me. And I'm like checking my phone because it's 9:30 and too early for the weird to come around now.

Our mutual friend who brought her asked the new girl what was wrong, and she was like nothing. She just got lost in thought. Afterwards, I suddenly got very interested in my Sprite and talking to my other friend about how sick Ninja Gaiden looks (this was a long time ago).

Night goes on, the new girl actually fits in well. She gingerly tries to get into the conversation and I'm not a type to hold a grudge. So yeah, let's talk it up. And it was great.

So I find out a few things. She recently came out as a lesbian after some time trying to accept that. She moved to go to NYU and she was interested in law. We both like fighting games. And was like "Bet, new friend. All about this".

And then she apologized. I asked for what, and she brought up the beginning of the night when she was staring. We got pretty chummy so I was like "Well, now that you brought that up... The Fuck, (her name)?"

She said she was sorry, but the second she saw me, she thought about how hot I would be as a girl.

I mean, interesting. Sure. I guess. But whatever. Not a bad thing. So I told her nothing's wrong with that. Compliment taken. And I was about to move on.

But then she put her hand on my arm. And she was like "No, Obsidian... You would look so very hot as a girl. It's insane. You would look like a Goddess".

Now, this is a point in my life that I was very unsure of my looks to begin with. In fact, I felt I was really unattractive. So that mixed with her looking me dead in my eye, almost confessing these feelings to me was confusingly weird.

"Hey, thanks (Her name). Honored by that."

And then she proceeded to describe me as a woman. My hair in a 70's afro. My lips didn't have to change as they were full and luscious. Apparently I have great cheekbones and eyelashes. My muscles weren't doing it for her, so she wanted me to be slimmer but still (her words, not mine) "tight".

By the time she got to the breasts that she was imagining on me and I really didn't know how to take someone fetishizing a version of me that doesn't exist, let alone being attracted to me while being a lesbian (who knew about Kinsey back then, am I right?), we notice in unison that the rest of my friends have stopped talking and were just enthralled by the description of Fem-Obsidian.

One of my closest friends, with the biggest shit-eating grin I have ever seen, didn't miss a beat and went "Go on, I'm just interested about the kind of ass he would be working with."

Instantly followed with "the kind of ass SHE would be working with".

Now, I'm used to ragging by these guys. But again, she moved here from... midwest state. I really don't remember which. But after that night, I find out from my friend that she was really not used to the idea of other sexualities. Girls weren't supposed to want sex, and she took that as why she wasn't interested in having sex with her boyfriends. So just... gushing over Fem-Obsidian with people she didn't know mortified her.

We actually never saw her again after that night. The group, anyway. My friend still of course saw her. The New Girl apparently continued to kick herself for 'messing it up', and that we seemed cool. I mean, we constantly told our mutual friend that we didn't care and she was always welcomed to hang. But our mutual friend basically believed it was because she didn't think she could face me again.

So, yeah. Hot Fem-Obsidian Jones ruined a potentially great friendship.

And the cherry on top. I found out at the beginning of this year that she welcomed her third baby with her husband for like five years? Moral of the story is that you shouldn't be so attached to labels that you have to be one thing or the other.

And that I would be slamming with a 70's afro and in a dress.
 
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Jarrito3002

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Had a coworker talking about his younger days when we had a conversation about hang overs and minor trips.

His if I remember involved PCP and it lead to him stealing a cop car, scaring the gang bangers on the corner, getting shot at by said bangers and then obviously high speed chase by the cops. I could not follow up my was just being 24 hours of sleep deprevation and running in circles staring at the dew on the grass for 15 minutes in front of my dorms.
 

BrawlMan

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When I met with some people I knew in high school a few years after graduation for a lunch, they told me that back then, most everyone in my class thought I was going to shoot up the school. I just "looked like the type." Apparently it was a running joke for them. Their reasoning: I grew my hair long , was extremely awkward, and didn't socialize with nearly anyone.
There were some people in highschool that were expecting/hoping that I would be a school shooter just to prove them "right" or justify acting like assholes. I had been bullied in the past, mainly in middle school and early highschool. Their line of thinking was cuz of bullying school shootings. Most people that bullied me either got kicked out of school, went to different schools, made up with them, or we tried staying out of each others way. I asked them just before graduation, how does fell to be wrong? None of them could think of response and none of them had the gut to apologize.
 

Hawki

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None of them could think of response and none of them had the gut to apologize.
Huh.

It's weird, in my last high school reunion, someone apologized to me for bullying me, despite the fact that I had no recollection of him doing so. Meanwhile, the people who did bully me said nothing, and we didn't talk to each other the entire evening.

Weird world.
 

thebobmaster

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One of my co-workers, trying to downplay COVID-19: "I don't know anyone who has it. Do you?"

Keep in mind, this was in late April at the earliest, well into the preventative measures in my state. We were having the conversation outside, with our company-mandated facemasks on.