Weird/Crazy stuff people have said to you/you've heard.

Thaluikhain

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Earlier today, a woman had lost her bag, including some medication on a bus. When asked what type of medication it was, in case it was something dangerous that could poison a kid or something, she exploded, and said "I have to care about other people?".
 

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said "I have to care about other people?".
Welp, she's a selfish asshole that is too dumb to live.

There was a time where a GameStop employee/store manager got mad at me for almost "ruining" his sale. The SM was trying to sell him the customer was buying a used copy of Overwatch (PS4), and "neglected" to mention he would need PS+ to the customer. He said "All you need is a PSN account and that would be it". I told him [the customer] that you need yo buy a PS+ subscription and that PSN used to be free. And that you need to pay $60 (what was $50 when Sony first changed the price model) for a full year. The customer still got the game and got 3 month PS+, because he did not have the money for a full year. After he left, I originally came in to cancel a pre-order due to money issues as well, and the SM nearly refused for almost "ruining" his sale. I'm like dude, I'm the customer your supposed to cancel I don't want or change my mind on. Second, you did not bother to mention once to the customer with ample opportunity that he needed PS+. The customer would have come back really angry, he can't play an online only game without the stupid ass subscription. What's worse is that this jack ass was then the SM of favorite GS at the time. After I left when the dick finally canceled my pre-order, I called corporate and gave the man's employee ID, name, the store location, and laid it on that I was not fucking happy. They dealt with him.

A few weeks later, he came to me apologizing and acting pathetic like his job depended on it. Not because he was actually sorry, but more so because his bosses got wind of what he had done. I could have acted smug about it, but I chose not to. To be the better person and accepted his apology. Another few weeks later and he's no longer the SM of my favorite GS location. He did not get fired, but they moved his ass to a location he does not particularity like. Apparently, a lot of the other store managers hate the guy, because known to have a bad attitude with nearly everyone. How this guy has not been fired yet is beyond me. For time reference, this happened around last summer around August. I went to another GameStop close in my neighborhood, that was only a half mile away, until they shipped his butt somewhere else.
 
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Palindromemordnilap

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Earlier today, a woman had lost her bag, including some medication on a bus. When asked what type of medication it was, in case it was something dangerous that could poison a kid or something, she exploded, and said "I have to care about other people?".
...was her medication to curb her apparent mental issues?
 

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I don't know how weird this is, but once one of my friends recited to me the Good Will Hunting "Every time I knock the door I hope you're not there speech" and it was very awkward, so much so that even though I noticed it was from the movie I couldn't bring myself to say it because everyone else was (There were other friends around) was acting like it was a fantastic sincere speech and I kinda didn't want to embarrass him, so instead I just embarrassed myself by answering "OK... that's weird" and sitting down to it while everyone stared at me awkwardly.

Now every time I see him I want to yell at him that "It was from Good Will Hunting!" but it's been too long and now I feel like I would be the weird one for bringing it up.
 
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Xprimentyl

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I once dated a woman who was taking online college courses, and one night, she was particularly upset about some test results she'd gotten, swearing that the one question she'd gotten wrong was actually correct. She was ready to fire off an email to the professor to plead her case, but wanted me to read it first to make sure it didn't sound too aggressive. In it, she explained that the multiple choice question had three correct answers and an "All of the above" option, but since "All of the above" was the first/top answer, none of the other answers were literally "above" it, so she didn't pick it...

I laughed for a solid minute before I could catch my breath to tell her emphatically NOT to send that to her professor. What's worse is I still had to explain to her how she'd essentially outsmarted herself, and she wasn't happy. That was 10 years ago, and I still think of that day from time to time and laugh.
 

happyninja42

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I once dated a woman who was taking online college courses, and one night, she was particularly upset about some test results she'd gotten, swearing that the one question she'd gotten wrong was actually correct. She was ready to fire off an email to the professor to plead her case, but wanted me to read it first to make sure it didn't sound too aggressive. In it, she explained that the multiple choice question had three correct answers and an "All of the above" option, but since "All of the above" was the first/top answer, none of the other answers were literally "above" it, so she didn't pick it...

I laughed for a solid minute before I could catch my breath to tell her emphatically NOT to send that to her professor. What's worse is I still had to explain to her how she'd essentially outsmarted herself, and she wasn't happy. That was 10 years ago, and I still think of that day from time to time and laugh.
Funny thing is, it wouldn't surprise me to learn the teacher did that on purpose to see if anyone noticed. I've seen videos where people collected trick questions like that from teachers, who have a weird sense of humor.

Like, in a similar vein, my highschool physics teacher, on one test, included a synopsis of the game of basketball in the margins of the test. It wasn't a question, just...smooshed into the margin, on 3 pages. And it went thusly:

*Paraphrased because fuck that was 25 years ago.*

The goal of the game of basketball, is to get the ball to stick to the ground. Each team has an opportunity to slam the ball to the ground, over and over, in an attempt to make it stick. If they hold it for too long, this is bad. They are allowed to pass the ball to teammates, who might have better luck at sticking the ball to the ground. If they wish, they can attempt to throw the ball through their opponent's hoop, which is lined with glue, in an attempt to make it stick. The ball must stick to the ground after going through the hoop. If it does not, the other team is now given a chance to stick the ball to the ground.

He also included one of my friends, and fellow physics student into his examples:

Super Skater Dude Ben (cause you know, his name is Ben, and he was a skater), is traveling down a 45deg, frictionless incline, the incline levels out for X feet before ending in a busy interstate of death. How fast would Super Skater Dude Ben have to be traveling to ramp over the interstate and avoid being squished?

My friend Ben's response upon reading this "What the hell teach?!" with a laugh.

So yeah, a teacher, making the answer "All of the Above" but putting all the answers below...sounds totally like it's on purpose to me. I would've told her to still email the teacher, but to make it in the form of a goofy, comical answer. No heat, just humor, to see if that really was the point. Hell for all we know, the teacher was going to give out extra credit to anyone who caught it. :D
 
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Xprimentyl

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So yeah, a teacher, making the answer "All of the Above" but putting all the answers below...sounds totally like it's on purpose to me. I would've told her to still email the teacher, but to make it in the form of a goofy, comical answer. No heat, just humor, to see if that really was the point. Hell for all we know, the teacher was going to give out extra credit to anyone who caught it. :D
This was an online business course, taken by hundreds of people, so the language was very dry and matter-of-fact, so I doubt this was done on purpose if it was done by an actual person at all. Most likely, the questions have the answers randomly swapped around from class to class; she was just a dingbat.
 

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I don't know how weird this is, but once one of my friends recited to me the Good Will Hunting "Every time I knock the door I hope you're not there speech" and it was very awkward, so much so that even though I noticed it was from the movie I couldn't bring myself to say it because everyone else was (There were other friends around) was acting like it was a fantastic sincere speech and I kinda didn't want to embarrass him, so instead I just embarrassed myself by answering "OK... that's weird" and sitting down to it while everyone stared at me awkwardly.

Now every time I see him I want to yell at him that "It was from Good Will Hunting!" but it's been too long and now I feel like I would be the weird one for bringing it up.
I hate it when I can't remember something that I know I know I just am unable to recall it. Then like later I will be laying down trying to fall asleep but can't due to my insomnia and then of all times it will come to me. Even if it were days, weeks, months even years later after the event. THEN it bothers me that I finally remembered it in the first place that much later and it is too late to even matter. By that point I am not getting any sleep at all so I get back up and start to do something else to try and take my mind off the fact that I can't sleep.
 

happyninja42

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I hate it when I can't remember something that I know I know I just am unable to recall it. Then like later I will be laying down trying to fall asleep but can't due to my insomnia and then of all times it will come to me. Even if it were days, weeks, months even years later after the event. THEN it bothers me that I finally remembered it in the first place that much later and it is too late to even matter. By that point I am not getting any sleep at all so I get back up and start to do something else to try and take my mind off the fact that I can't sleep.
Yeah I'll do that a lot. Usually it will be the name of a film or song, that I find myself quoting or singing. Or a line from some obscure thing I saw as a kid, that I'm suddenly just fixated on, but I'm unable to determine the name of the source. It will usually hit me in bed, or the shower.

Something that others have probably heard me say, that was likely weird to them, is something that me and my friends have used for years, to declare the act someone takes as being totally terrible/horrible, totally messing them up/destroying them. It's "couch fucking." Like: "So then the bad guys show up and just totally get to couch fucking the heroes. I mean it was brutal." Or "And then they got to the couch fucking, and man that city was destroyed!"

We've probably used this term for...shit, 15 years now I guess? Whenever that Dave Chapelle skit "Rick James Hollywood Stories" came out.

This clip. Warning, it's got the N word in it.


It's just, such an amazing example of pure disregard for the feelings of others, with the sole purpose of destroying their stuff, simply because you can.

So yeah, couch fucking, it's a verb!
 

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Yeah I'll do that a lot. Usually it will be the name of a film or song, that I find myself quoting or singing. Or a line from some obscure thing I saw as a kid, that I'm suddenly just fixated on, but I'm unable to determine the name of the source. It will usually hit me in bed, or the shower.

Something that others have probably heard me say, that was likely weird to them, is something that me and my friends have used for years, to declare the act someone takes as being totally terrible/horrible, totally messing them up/destroying them. It's "couch fucking." Like: "So then the bad guys show up and just totally get to couch fucking the heroes. I mean it was brutal." Or "And then they got to the couch fucking, and man that city was destroyed!"

We've probably used this term for...shit, 15 years now I guess? Whenever that Dave Chapelle skit "Rick James Hollywood Stories" came out.

This clip. Warning, it's got the N word in it.


It's just, such an amazing example of pure disregard for the feelings of others, with the sole purpose of destroying their stuff, simply because you can.

So yeah, couch fucking, it's a verb!
OMG. I have never seen that .. or heard that.. but that made me laugh so hard my eyes watered and people gave me funny looks. Like someone goes and stomps in mud just to go screw up someone's couch out of spite. LMAO
 
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Xprimentyl

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OMG. I have never seen that .. or heard that.. but that made me laugh so hard my eyes watered and people gave me funny looks. Like someone goes and stomps in mud just to go screw up someone's couch out of spite. LMAO
Please tell me you you've seen The Chappelle Show. Please. You already confessed you've never had Cinnamon Toast Crunch; please, I won't be able to take it. Please, don't do this to me...
 

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Please tell me you you've seen The Chappelle Show. Please. You already confessed you've never had Cinnamon Toast Crunch; please, I won't be able to take it. Please, don't do this to me...
No. I have never watched Comedy Central before this was posted :s
I have never seen The Chappelle show, However, after watching this I had to put it on the TV right now as we speak so everyone can watch it here. The one about Charlie Murphey getting beat in Basketball by Prince in the blouses ice skater outfit was hilarious too.. LOL

Keep in mind, I used to work 123hr work weeks at one time, I spent my time in work or school, working multiple jobs then residency+ Pediatrics Clinic + free Clinic+ Shelter.... The only reason why I have more time now is because I was almost killed by a virus and it forced me to stay home most the time now. So until recently, I never really had time to watch TV or movies much at all. I am catching up though :D
 
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Xprimentyl

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No. I have never watched Comedy Central before this was posted :s
I have never seen The Chappelle show, However, after watching this I had to put it on the TV right now as we speak so everyone can watch it here. The one abut Charlie Murphey getting beat in Basketball by Prince in the blouses ice skater outfit was hilarious too.. LOL

Keep in mind, I used to work 123hr work weeks at one time, I spent my time in work or school, working multiple jobs then residency+ Pediatrics Clinic + free Clinic+ Shelter.... The only reason why I have more time now is because I was almost killed by a virus and it forced me to stay home most the time now. So until recently, I never really had time to watch TV or movies much at all. I am catching up though :D
I almost had to use the defibrillator after reading that second sentence, but the rest of the post saved me. Enjoy, it's brilliant humor.

It only made it 2 seasons the way Chappelle envisioned it, but "the suits" stepped in once it became a universally praised mega hit, and around the start of season 3, they tried to take creative control. Basically missing the satire that made the show funny, they tried to force the "more of the same" humor, and Chappelle walked away, so season 3 is basically a clip show of what they managed to shoot before the titular guy literally skipped town.
 
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Buyetyen

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I'm sitting and having a quiet lunch in the dining hall at college. It's a nice spring day, I only had one class in the morning, and things are going pretty good. I get my sandwich half-way up to my mouth when I hear someone at the next table over say, "Dude! What if Dave was right and you could, like, grow women. Like on a plant!"

Couldn't tell you what came after that. I froze and had to hard reboot.
 
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happyninja42

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Couldn't tell you what came after that. I froze and had to hard reboot.
I know right!! I mean like, you could just.... GROW them! You'd have to figure out which ones were best grown in what climates! How much watering and fertilizer, but...DUDE!!! Talk about a wood nymph!!
 

Xprimentyl

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"Dude! What if Dave was right and you could, like, grow women. Like on a plant!"
So many questions...

Who's "Dave?"

What evidence and data did he use to come to this conclusion?

Does he realize that literally every woman ever was "grown?"

What scientific accomplishment has EVER been preempted by the exclamation of the word "Dude!"
 

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Yeah I'll do that a lot. Usually it will be the name of a film or song, that I find myself quoting or singing. Or a line from some obscure thing I saw as a kid, that I'm suddenly just fixated on, but I'm unable to determine the name of the source. It will usually hit me in bed, or the shower.

Something that others have probably heard me say, that was likely weird to them, is something that me and my friends have used for years, to declare the act someone takes as being totally terrible/horrible, totally messing them up/destroying them. It's "couch fucking." Like: "So then the bad guys show up and just totally get to couch fucking the heroes. I mean it was brutal." Or "And then they got to the couch fucking, and man that city was destroyed!"

We've probably used this term for...shit, 15 years now I guess? Whenever that Dave Chapelle skit "Rick James Hollywood Stories" came out.

This clip. Warning, it's got the N word in it.


It's just, such an amazing example of pure disregard for the feelings of others, with the sole purpose of destroying their stuff, simply because you can.

So yeah, couch fucking, it's a verb!
That reminds me of this one reference someone did:

 
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Kae

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I hate it when I can't remember something that I know I know I just am unable to recall it. Then like later I will be laying down trying to fall asleep but can't due to my insomnia and then of all times it will come to me. Even if it were days, weeks, months even years later after the event. THEN it bothers me that I finally remembered it in the first place that much later and it is too late to even matter. By that point I am not getting any sleep at all so I get back up and start to do something else to try and take my mind off the fact that I can't sleep.
Well, the thing is I recognised the speech right away, I just felt it would be awkward to mention it was from the movie when the people around us were acting like he was giving a very deep speech, my mind is after all at leas 90% pop culture trivia.

That being said I do know what you're talking about, and it's infuriating, TBH the same thing happens to me all the time and since I've seen my sister bring up those kinds of arguments years after the actual conversation, I don't really want to bring it up, to this day everyone in the family still bullies her over being so dumb and slow that she takes years to respond, which is unfair, I think that kind of thing has happened to everyone, it's just that most of us don't bring it up.
 
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Xprimentyl

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I hate it when I can't remember something that I know I know I just am unable to recall it. Then like later I will be laying down trying to fall asleep but can't due to my insomnia and then of all times it will come to me. Even if it were days, weeks, months even years later after the event. THEN it bothers me that I finally remembered it in the first place that much later and it is too late to even matter. By that point I am not getting any sleep at all so I get back up and start to do something else to try and take my mind off the fact that I can't sleep.
That being said I do know what you're talking about, and it's infuriating, TBH the same thing happens to me all the time and since I've seen my sister bring up those kinds of arguments years after the actual conversation, I don't really want to bring it up, to this day everyone in the family still bullies her over being so dumb and slow that she takes years to respond, which is unfair, I think that kind of thing has happened to everyone, it's just that most of us don't bring it up.
Try being a fan of electronic music (95% lyric-less) and trying to identify a song you vaguely remember by a melody alone. Do you have any idea how many songs I have knocking around in my head that I clearly recall and love, but will never hear again save for the infinitesimally small chance I'll ever hear it again or run into a person who's extremely knowledgeable of electronic music who can decipher sounds I make with my mouth?