>Xavier: Comprehend
Almost being killed for what seems like the thousandth time in this theoretical day really puts a strain on your mental process. You lie frozen, unaware that you that GS is forcibly dragging you let alone the you just revealed yourself to Black Queen, the last person you wanted to know that you were alive. You blankly stare down the obsidian hallway, speeding farther and farther away from the strife. You catch the smallest, faintest, most beautiful scene of battle; the woman (whom you are now assuming is Dirk's SISTER, given the hat, the die and the, almost belittling, MANGRIT) raised into the air, right foot coming down on the Black Queen's face, knocking ichor and fangs out. You feel...oddly honored. Almost as if she's taking down the one largest threat for you. You know she's not, but its still admirable, kind of heroic, with a smidgen of...
Before you go any further with your thoughts, you snap back into reality. You pull yourself away GS, falling hard on your back while he still runs off("Great planning, Xavier!). You roll onto your stomach, into parody of runner's starting position and hobble toward your cohort. In a few skipping hops, you float only a few feet of the ground, right next to GS.
>Waffles: Be flabbergasted
OK, even though I was kidding about the whole "Alpha Oprah being a tyrant", given recent updates, that might be true.
You take a moment to get a bearing of your surroundings.You admit that you are a a bit surprised at the lack of SALAMANDERS,considering this land seems to be full of them,but now is not the time for that.You need to get stronger!And the best way to do that may be to go after..what was it that the elder called it?A DENIZEN?...of this LAND and defeat it.
You start heading off in the direction that you believe the FIRST VILLAGE that you came upon when you first arrived in this LAND is located,beating the crap out of any IMPS,ORGES,or what have you that cause anyone trouble.If they don't cause trouble then you are perfectly willing to leave them alone.You are a Knight after all and it would be unknightly to attack an innocent,Dersite or not.
You do keep an eye out for any CASTLES that look like they may hold something of interest.Then again every CASTLE probably has something interesting in it and a good chunk of this place is filled with CASTLES.You believe you will just keep walking for now.
>Dirk: As you traverse the tear in space and time, you find yourself emerging out into the burning sun and sands, back onto the surface of your Land. A bit of investigation later, and you find that you're back by that OBELISK, the monument that you first met Daedalus by a thousand years in the past.
The portal that brought you here, instead of fading back into whatever dimension it came from, remains in place, a rip floating in midair. You guess you've got a backdoor into your Denizen's workshop. Might come in handy later.
"'Bout time you showed up."
The familiar voice wafts through the air; you spin around to see LR casually reclining against the massive stone pillar, his shotgun nonchalantly slung over a shoulder. Both his listless tone and expressionless voice communicate his utter boredom, as he eyes you critically.
"Waited, what, a whole day for this? Just too damn boring around here. Killed some Prospitians, a few IGUANAS, and even a couple UNDERLINGS to pass the time; everything went as expected. Nothing new, nothing interesting. Just some more mindless fun.
>Xavier: GS frantically waves you behind a nearby pillar, uneasily looking back and forth. "Alright, you happy? Come on, time to leave before we get slaughtered."
>Greg: After walking quite a ways, beating up an UNDERLING every now and then, you make your way to the entrance of the FIRST VILLAGE.
Oddly enough, the entire place is deserted. There's not a sign of a single SALAMANDER, IMP, or any other being in town, just a lot of deserted buildings. And, for some reason, a whole lot of tumbleweeds. You didn't even know those things grew around here.
Wait, what's this? There's a sheet of parchment nailed to the door of the SHOP, covered in messy, but somewhat legible scrawls. Let's see here:
Out for lunch/Bug hunting/Black people attacking. Be back in 30 minutes/3 days/never.
Huh. Guess the entire village is on lunch break or something. At 4 in the afternoon. Yeah. That seems right.
"I can't quite hear you over the sound of me KICKING YOUR ASS.
The LOQUACIOUS RUFFIAN hears a sound from behind, and sees a kickass green glow, followed by YOU IN A FEW SECONDS launching a flurry of punches and kicks. You go back in time to become this amazing fellow, while the other you, or rather, YOU continue your assault.
Timeline shenanigans are so damned confusing.
You throw a kick up to his face, but he blocks you mid-air. Undeterred you spin around and drive a heel kick to his shoulder. He forces it to a halt with sheer force. You do a front flip to the ground and do a DONKEY KICK straight into his stomach, driving him back a few inches. You jump into the air, and do a full flip straight over LR'S HEAD, landing behind him as he turns to face you, and throw a DEVASTATING HOOK. Your blow catches him in the jaw, and he gets a face-full of AUTOMAIL for his trouble.
A snap of your fingers calls down the FIRE on the AGENT, and he has to take a leap back to avoid scuffing his suit.
As the smoke clears, you wait patiently to get a good look at him before speaking. "I read a lot of books. I watch a lot of movies, a lot of shows. Plus, good-old fashioned intuition. Guess it comes with being the Mentor and all. And do you want to know the biggest, most bold-faced mistake a villain can ever make? Giving the hero a chance to get stronger."
You hold out a thumb and point it to the ground.
"I don't need a speech, or a theme song. I have the strength and will of all my friends in my heart and on my back. I'm going to kill you, and that's all there is to it."
[23:59] LR: *As the flames from you last attack flicker out, LR stomps down on them, grinding them out.*
[23:59] LR: *A frentic grin slowly crosses his face.*
[23:59] LR: Oh, this is going to be fun, isn't it?
[00:00] SS: =|==> For one of us, maybe.
[00:00] SS: =|==> For the other it's gonna be a long, hard ride on the Ass-Whup express.
[00:00] LR: Come on, I'll give you another freebie. No tricks, no dodging. Give me your best shot.
[00:00] SS: =|==> Heh... hehehe... AAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
[00:00] SS: =|==> *Dirk nearly curls up in laughter*
[00:01] SS: =|==> I don't need your charity, Dersey-boy! Why don't you give ME your best shot?
[00:01] LR: Sigh... I try and give you a sporting chance, and that's how you react?
[00:01] LR: Yeah, this won't last long.
[00:01] SS: =|==> Come on now, don't get all blue... I just want a challenge.
[00:01] SS: =|==> *Dirk sports a manic grin of his own*
[00:03] LR: Kid, I'll give you more than a challenge. You're really starting to get on my nerves with all that chump talk.
[00:04] LR: Don't want the freebie? Then get your ass ready, cause this is gonna hurt!
[00:04] SS: =|==> Takes a chump to know a chump. You gonna stand there and blabber, or are you gonna put actions behind this big talk?
[00:05] LR: *LR charges forward, cackling maniaclly as he closes the distance in a couple of seconds.*
[00:05] SS: =|==> *In a flash of green light, Dirk is gone*
[00:05] SS: =|==> Yoo-hoo, up here! *Dirk is standing on a nearby cliff, HYPERION GUNBLADE in hand*
[00:05] SS: =|==> Dance, cowboy!
[00:05] SS: =|==> *He fires a salvo of shots at LR's legs*
[00:05] LR: *Without turning, LR points his gun upwards.*
[00:06] LR: *The resulting blast tears through Dirk's shots, and destroys the cliff's edge, and Dirk's foothold.*
[00:06] LR: *LR leaps into the air, heading towards his falling foe.*
[00:06] SS: =|==> *Dirk claps his hands together and smacks the cliff's edge, creating a wall to catch him as he falls*
[00:07] SS: =|==> *From there he fires more shots, and uses his free hand to ignite them with fire, creating flaming bullets*
[00:07] LR: *LR grabs onto the edge of the wall, dodging the flaming projectiles.*
[00:07] LR: *Swinging his legs, he flips up onto the ledge, kicking at Dirk as he rises.*
[00:08] SS: =|==> *Dirk raises his automail arm, stopping the kick mid-air.*
[00:08] SS: =|==> *He charges forward and slams his head into LR's stomach*
[00:08] LR: *Dirk's head bounces off LR's carapace. He's got a pretty severe headache.*
[00:09] LR: *LR is however knocked backwards, falling towards the ground.*
[00:09] SS: =|==> *Dirk shakes his head to clear the dizziness*
[00:09] SS: =|==> Knowledge is power, right?
[00:09] LR: No, POWER is power. Moron.
[00:10] SS: =|==> I think you mean maroon.
[00:10] SS: =|==> Can you at least keep the jargon consistent, you wannabe mafioso?
[00:10] LR: *LR picks himself up from the ground, and fires a few more bursts at Dirk.*
[00:11] SS: =|==> *The shots are absorbed by a shadowy figure shooting our from Dirk's newly-equipped HARUHARA BLADE*
[00:11] SS: =|==> Haruko, waste this *****.
[00:11] SS: =|==> *Shadow-Haruko's silhouette gains a frenzied white grin and swings a pitch-black bass guitar at LR's head*
[00:11] LR: *The blow sends the Dersite flying through the air, his body spinning around as his neck bends at a sickening angle.*
[00:12] LR: *He lands roughly, kicking up another cloud of dust.*
[00:12] SS: =|==> Ooh, that's GOTTA hurt. Where's your moxie, buddy?
[00:13] SS: =|==> I told you, they call me motherfuckin' Cassius! You can't touch me--oh.
[00:12] LR: *Dirk notices the grenade lying at his feet.*
[00:12] LR: Right about there.
[00:13] SS: =|==> *Dirk leaps to dodge away, getting half-caught in the blast.*
[00:13] SS: =|==> *He emerges about a dozen feet away, his clothes scorched and a few nicks on his face. He stands and wipes the blood off his face*
[00:13] LR: *As Dirk is knocked off course, he spots a black fist heading towards his face at an alarming speed.*
[00:14] SS: =|==> *Dirk can't dodge in time, and gets a solid blow to the jaw.*
[00:14] SS: =|==> *He spins a full 360 degrees, and comes back with an automail uppercut*
[00:14] LR: *There's an audible crunch as the metal limb slams into LR's chin.*
[00:14] LR: *LR reamins unfazed.*
[00:15] SS: =|==> *Dirk opens his palm and claps his hands*
[00:15] SS: =|==> *He touches LR's face*
[00:16] LR: *LR's carapace suddenly cracks and crumbles, revealing something too horrifying to describe. He leaps back, roaring in anger, clutching his palms to his face.*
[00:16] SS: =|==> By the way, thanks for helping me out!
[00:16] SS: =|==> Without you, I would NEVER have gotten all these upgrades!
[00:16] LR: *After a few seconds, he drops his hands, his hard shell having grown back.*
[00:17] LR: *Dashing forward, he picks up his dropped weapon, slamming a shoulder into Dirk's chest.*
[00:17] SS: =|==> *Dirk gets caughtup, and is lifted into the air and goes along with LR's momentum*
[00:18] SS: =|==> *In response he lifts his fists up together, balled up, and drops them onto the back of LR's neck*
[00:18] LR: *As he charges, LR is knocked off blance, he and his passenger tumbling to the ground.*
[00:18] SS: =|==> *Dirk scrambles to his feet, letting a few coughs slip out*
[00:19] SS: =|==> Phew. Come on, pally, where's your A game?
[00:19] LR: *Instead of getting up, LR points his gun at Dirk, releasing a huge salvo of blasts.*
[00:19] LR: *As he continues to fire again and again, the Agent slowly rises to his feet, advancing towards Dirk with each step.*
[00:19] SS: =|==> *Dirk twists himself into a spinning ball of limbs, flailing about to dodge the bullets. His HASTE and SLOW abilities improve his odds.*
[00:19] SS: =|==> *As the shots go on, one lucky blast knocks off his shades*
[00:20] SS: =|==> *Dirk's piercing gray eyes dilate*
[00:20] SS: =|==> *He reaches into his Sylladex and produces a SHADE-A-RANG*
[00:20] SS: =|==> *The long-forgotten projectile arcs through the air towards LR's unshielded hand*
[00:21] LR: *It sticks into the back of LR's hand, drawing a small stream of blood.*
[00:21] LR: What, you think that's gonna stop me?!
[00:21] SS: =|==> No, slow you down.
[00:21] LR: *LR fires unabated.*
[00:21] SS: =|==> *Dirk disappears in another flash of green light*
[00:21] SS: =|==> Hey, look out dipshit.
[00:21] LR: *LR rolls to the side.*
[00:22] SS: =|==> *He bumps into the legs of a Dirk looking down at him from above. The Dirk kicks down, aiming for a curbstomp.*
[00:22] LR: *Sadly, there is no curb to stomp against.*
[00:22] LR: *He does, however, kick LR into the ground a few inches.*
[00:22] SS: =|==> OK, your turn.
[00:23] SS: =|==> *A second Dirk appears and does the same*
[00:23] LR: *LR is further pounded into the ground.*
[00:23] SS: =|==> Batter up, boys!
[00:23] SS: =|==> *A dozen Dirks surround LR, wielding their HARUHARA BLADES and swing down, ready to go to town*
[00:24] LR: *The enormous succession of blows rain down upon the immobilized Dersite, cutting through his clothes and slamming him further and further into a body-shaped indention.
[00:24] SS: =|==> OK, Alpha, you're up!
[00:25] SS: =|==> *A single Dirk comes speeding down from above. His weapon of choice, a drill*
[00:26] LR: *As the attack comes to an end, only a massive crater remains where LR once lay, Alpha Dirk, still clutching his drill, in the center.*
[00:27] SS: =|==> *Dirk moves away from the crater quickly. No way he is not just under there ready to grab him by the ankle*
[00:27] LR: *A pair of pitch-black hands suddenly emerge from the ground about twenty feet away, latching onto the ankles of two Betas.*
[00:27] LR: *They are pulled underground.*
[00:28] LR: *The same thing happens to another pair of Betas on the other side of the crater, a few seconds later.*
[00:28] SS: =|==> *The Dirks sound a collective "OH SHIT" and take to the skies*
[00:28] LR: *LR suddenly bursts from the crater, gun pointed towards the sky.*
[00:29] LR: See this?
[00:29] LR: *The gun's barrel begins to glow ominously, energy pulsing through it.*
[00:29] LR: This... IS MY BOOMSTICK!
[00:30] LR: *The resulting blast of red power tears through the air, slamming into pretty much every Dirk in the sky.*
[00:31] SS: =|==> *The Alpha Dirk responds by raising up his WAY TO THE DAWN into the sky above him.*
[00:31] SS: =|==> By the way...
[00:31] SS: =|==> *As the beam gets close, he slams his blade into it*
[00:31] SS: =|==> That movie was SHIT.
[00:32] LR: *As Alpha Dirk parts the sea of destructive energy, LR nonchalantly begins dancing back and forth, humming to himself.*
[00:32] LR: Na na na na, na na.
[00:33] SS: =|==> Pick a better song!
[00:33] SS: =|==> *Dirk shouts, still parting the energy sea*
[00:33] LR: Just one more kick in the... teeth!
[00:34] LR: *LR jumps upward, laughing as he heads towards Alpha Dirk.*
[00:34] LR: Come on hotshot, do your worst!
[00:34] SS: =|==> *Dirk smirks to himself, levering his blade to launch him above the remainder of the beam, and LR, and spins forward, slamming his foot into the back of LR's skull*
[00:34] SS: =|==> Well, ain't that a KICK IN THE HEAD!
[00:35] LR: *As his body is pushed downward, LR latches onto Dirk's foot.*
[00:35] LR: *Grunting, he spins in the air, hurling Dirk towards the ground.*
[00:35] LR: I liked mine better.
[00:35] SS: =|==> *Dirk goes spinning off, hurtling towards the ground and screaming*
[00:36] LR: *He fires a few more shots towards Dirk.*
[00:36] SS: =|==> *As he gets closer, however, he balances himself out, and lands straight on his automail arm. The impact rocks him, but the sheer force rebounds him into the air*
[00:36] SS: =|==> *A swing of his KEYBLADE deflects the shots as he goes flying back up*
[00:36] SS: =|==> EVERYONE'S A CRITIC!
[00:37] SS: =|==> *Dirk swings his blade diagonally at the Agent's torso*
[00:37] LR: *Laughing, LR lets the blow hit him. Though winded by the attack, he still has enough strength to slam his forehead into Dirk's, a resonding crack splittting the air.*
[00:38] SS: =|==> *Blood drips down Dirk's face, particularly over his beaming white smile*
[00:38] SS: =|==> Gotchaaa
[00:38] SS: =|==> *His free hand tightly grips the HYPERION GUNBLADE, and rams it towards LR's stomach*
[00:40] LR: Well. Shit.
[00:40] SS: =|==> Lost your head, buddy?
[00:40] LR: *LR takes the resulting blow, the force hurling him upwards.*
[00:41] SS: =|==> Let me answer that for you.
[00:41] SS: =|==> Not yet.
[00:41] SS: =|==> *Dirk takes the KEYBLADE and swings it towards LR's neck*
[00:42] LR: *The blow slams into the Dersite, knocking him towards the ground.*
[00:42] LR: *Not, however, before he's able to wrap his hand around Dirk's face.*
[00:44] LR: *The two of you and dragged downward, slamming into the sand in a mess of jumbled limbs.*
[00:45] SS: =|==> Okay. Wow. I'll give you this: You're a hard ************ to kill*
[00:45] SS: =|==> *Dirk struggles to escape the tangle buddy pile*
[00:46] LR: *He finds that LR's iron grip isn't that easy to break.*
[00:46] SS: =|==> Okay.
[00:46] SS: =|==> Fine.
[00:46] LR: Heheheh... I guess I can tell that to you too. I haven't had this much fun in ages.
[00:46] SS: =|==> This still fun for you?
[00:46] SS: =|==> On a scale of one to ten, how fun?
[00:46] LR: *LR slowly stands back up, lifting Dirk into the air one handed, his grip always tightening.*
[00:47] LR: Oh, I'd say 8, easy.
[00:47] SS: =|==> 8, huh? Okay, I can do 8.
[00:47] LR: *LR sticks his gun in Dirk's gut.*
[00:47] SS: =|==> *With a clap, Dirk slams his hands into LR's chest*
[00:47] SS: =|==> I'll break 8 of your joints in the next minute.
[00:48] LR: Feel free. I've had worse.
[00:48] SS: =|==> Hehehe... bad idea.
[00:48] LR: *LR's grip continues to worsen. Dirk's jaw cracks audibly.*
[00:49] SS: =|==> *As bones snap and crack, LR hears a whirring sound, and green light begins to gather in specks*
[00:49] SS: =|==> *Dirk activates his LEITMOTIF OF THE AGES, and a drill appears in his hand*
[00:49] SS: =|==> *At full speed rotation, it slams into the elbow of the arm holding Dirk up*
[00:50] LR: *LR grits his teeth, but maintains his stance, refusing to yeild.*
[00:50] LR: That's... not... gonna stop me!
[00:50] SS: =|==> Relly..gunna...loozeyerarmeh? F-f-FINE!
[00:50] SS: =|==> *Dirk applies full pressure, and begins to roar as the adrenaline pours in his veins*
[00:50] LR: *Dropping his gun to the ground, he wraps his now empty hand around the drill.*
[00:51] LR: *LR cries out as his carapace is torn away layer by layer; the drill does slow down, however.*
[00:51] SS: =|==> *Dirk's eyes flicker green, as he pushes his LEITMOTIF to his limit.*
[00:51] SS: =|==> *His other hand grips a newly formed drill, and it smashes into LR's left side*
[00:52] SS: =|==> TAKE THIS!
[00:52] LR: *The drills, spinning at unbelievable speeds, pierce through the tough shell, shredding LR's defenses in a matter of seconds.*
[00:52] SS: =|==> MY LOVE, MY ANGER, AND ALL OF MY SORROW!
[00:53] SS: =|==> *Dirk lifts the drill upward, driving it into LR's torso*
[00:53] LR: *A gout of blood bursts from his left side, his right arm barely moving.*
[00:54] SS: =|==> GRRT... As the Mentor of Time, I pronounce you a FAILURE.
[00:54] LR: *LR leaps backwards, dodging the blow. His left hand scrambles for a grenade stashed somewhere in his clothes, tossing it into his right hand.*
[00:54] SS: =|==> *Dirk gives him no time, and smashes his hands together*
[00:54] LR: Eat this!
[00:54] SS: =|==> *The drills combine into a single, glowing green sword*
[00:55] SS: =|==> If you think that means shit, then toss it!
[00:55] LR: *Ignoring the danger, LR charges forward, shouting out while he pulls the pin. His clenched fist, wrapped around the grenade, hurtles toward's Dirk's face.*
[00:57] SS: =|==> *As the limb hurtles toward Dirk's face, a single glowing green swipe zings through the air. In a spurt of blood, LR's bloody severed arm goes flying past Dirk.*
[00:57] SS: =|==> *It explodes in a slurry of sharpnel and gore behind him*
[00:57] LR: Gotcha.
[00:57] LR: *LR's left hand tosses another grenade towards Dirk's uprotected face.*
[00:58] SS: =|==> Nope.
[00:58] SS: =|==> *The blade pierces through LR's stomach*
[00:58] SS: =|==> Ever hear of Asura's Wrath?
[00:58] SS: =|==> *The blade extends, carrying LR and the grenade dozens of feet into the air*
[01:00] SS: =|==> *Dirk grips the grenade in his hand as LR hangs in the air*
[01:00] SS: =|==> They say a taste of your own medicine's good for you.
[01:00] SS: =|==> Consider that lesson on the house.
[01:00] SS: =|==> *Dirk tosses the grenade up at LR*
[01:01] LR: *LR pulls a pistol out of a pocket, shooting at the explosive.*
[01:02] LR: *The resulting blast rains shrapnel onto the two combatants; the sword is broken, and LR falls to the ground, bleeding heavily.*
[01:02] LR: Well. Didn't see this coming.
[01:03] SS: =|==> And that's what sucks about you.
[01:03] LR: *LR examines his newly acquired stump, and the blade still jutting from his gut.*
[01:03] LR: Eh, makes for a fair fight.
[01:03] SS: =|==> *Dirk limps over, HYPERION GUNBLADE in hand*
[01:03] SS: =|==> Get up. I'm not done meting out justice yet.
[01:03] LR: *LR points his pistol at Dirk, firing wildly.*
[01:03] SS: =|==> *Dirk activates HASTE*
[01:04] SS: =|==> *His own blade moves like a storm, deflecting LR's blasts. The last show hits it at the hilt, and sends the blade flying*
[01:04] SS: =|==> *Dirk is quick enough on the uptake to draw the HARUHARA BLADE instead, and swings it down at LR's gun*
[01:04] LR: *Dropping his pistol, LR charges forward, eyes rapidly following Dirk's movements.*
[01:05] LR: *Forcing his way through Dirk's assault, he begins to bob and weave, forcing his upper-body to twist in a figure-8 pattern.*
[01:05] LR: DEEEEEEEEMPSY!
[01:06] LR: *Like lighting, LR slams his remaining fist into Dirk over and over, matching the HASTED hero's speed.*
[01:06] LR: ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
[01:08] SS: =|==> *Dirk is pushed back, and the dirt is kicked up as he goes. But as he does, he starts talking*
[01:08] SS: =|==> You know something, you fancy-suited asshole? I've got you figured out.
[01:08] SS: =|==> You're nothing but a child. A whiny, self-entitled loser who gets his kicks out of watching people bleed and suffer.
[01:09] SS: =|==> You're not worth hating. Not even pitying, you're just a rank coward with a bit too much power for their own good.
[01:09] SS: =|==> But it's not enough power.
[01:09] SS: =|==> Every day of my life I've lived in fear and awe of someone ten times as powerful as you.
[01:09] SS: =|==> Somebody who can kick MY ass to the moon and back! Strong enough to make the Black Queen pause!
[01:10] SS: =|==> And you know what? I think I can take her. I've grown strong today, and I know that I can take my Sis now.
[01:10] SS: =|==> And you know what, LR?
[01:10] SS: =|==> YOU AIN'T NO DARIA!
[01:10] SS: =|==> *Dirk catches LR's latest punch, and throws an automail fist straight into the agent's face*
[01:11] SS: =|==> *He then swings LR over his head and behind him, where a back kick sends his hurtling*
[01:11] LR: *LR slams into the ground, knocking up a cloud of dust, obscuring his body.*
[01:12] LR: Alright, listen up ya little punk.
[01:12] LR: I don't know who the hell this Daria is, or why the hell you're so infatuated with her.
[01:12] SS: =|==> No, YOU LISTEN.
[01:12] SS: =|==> *Dirk charges and slams a knee into the Agent's gut*
[01:12] LR: *His knee is sliced open by the blade still sticking out of said gut.*
[01:13] LR: *LR slams his head into Dirk's, knocking the hero to the ground.*
[01:13] LR: Let me finish.
[01:13] LR: Call me all the names you want, I don't give a damn.
[01:14] LR: Call me a coward, loser, whatever the hell you want. Doesn't make any difference to me. You wanna know why?
[01:14] LR: *LR leans forward, his grin bloodstained and frenzied.*
[01:15] LR: At the end of the day, I'm alive, and you're dead.
[01:15] SS: =|==> Hey, LR, wanna know a secret?
[01:15] SS: =|==> *Dirk leans in close and grins at the Agent*
[01:15] LR: *LR headbutts him again.*
[01:15] SS: =|==> *Dirk's head smacks into the ground, leaving a bloodstain, but he keeps talking through the dirt and sweat*
[01:15] SS: =|==> Daria's my sister. But I don't just have her. I've got a Bro, too.
[01:16] SS: =|==> *Dirk activates his SPRITE MEDALLION*
The scarred battlefield glows with incoming light as your MEDALLION shines, calling down the most BADASS of BACKUP.
CSS: =|==> Agent, I'd like you to meet Kamina. CLR: Well. That's probably not good. CKS: No. No it isn't. CSS: =|==> Sorry, bro. A little help, maybe? CKS: Yeah, sure thing buddy. CKS: *Kaminasprite wraps his hands around an invisible hilt, a bright red katana forming from pure energy. CSS: =|==> *Dirk struggles to his feet, selecting the Way to the Dawn* CLR: You think that's gonna be enough? You really think this'll kill me?! Huh?! CSS: =|==> Well, not right away. CSS: =|==> You've gotta suffer first. CSS: =|==> Payback for the innocent and all. CLR: *LR grits his teeth, and wraps his hand around the blade stuck in his chest. With a grunt, he wrenches the steel from his body, ignoring the bloody wound it leaves.* CKS: Alright Dirk, you ready for this? CKS: We're gonna do "that." CSS: =|==> ...Heh. "That"? CKS: What do you think? CKS: *KS takes a deep breath...* CKS: INFERNO OF MANLY SOULS! BROTHERLY COMBINDING: HEAVEN PIERCING BLADES! CLR: Well. Shit. CSS: =|==> You REALLY know how to sum up a situation, don't you? CSS: =|==> Let's do it, Bro! CSS: =|==> *From opposite sides, Kamina and Dirk charge LR, their screams drowning out the sound of their own frenzied sprints. Their blurred forms strike into LR, Dirk at the legs and Kamina at the throat. The Agent is tugged in both directions, ready to be split in half before tension is released and he goes hurtling into the air.* CSS: =|==> *The warrior brothers turn and skid a halt, bloodied clouds of dust swirling around them and trailing them as they leap into the air after LR.* CSS: =|==> *Blades drawn, both brothers strike and pierce through the Agent's carapace with high-velocity blows, launching blood like a geyser. The use their feet to kick off of his own body and launch back into the air before coming back for another strike from another angle.* CSS: =|==> *They do this again. And again and again and again, their pace doubling with each strike, until a blinding frenzy of a blood and sand tornado has whipped up around them.* CSS: =|==> *At last, they shoot out directly below and above the agent, Dirk slamming into the ground and Kamina soaring into the air.* CSS: =|==> *The entire landscape begins to glow with a swirling orange and green vortex of raw power as the two prepare to strike, and with the sound of a thunderclap they launch* CSS: =|==> *A searing hot energy blade from above slices through LR's legs, cutting them off completely. The Way to the Dawn stakes itself through LR's heart and carries him high into the heavens, above the clouds* CSS: =|==> *Dirk and LR hang in the air a moment, looking at the vast landscape of an entire world beneath them. Dirk grins, and with a downward swing launches the gored Agent groundward at nearly the speed of sound* CSS: =|==> *With his own HASTE MOTIF, he catches up, slamming himself into LR's back* CSS: =|==> *Another burst of thunder alerts the breaking of the sound barrier, and at blinding the speed the both of them make their journey earthward, the scream of rushing air building up to a symphony in Dirk's ears as he grits his teeth* CSS: =|==> *Flames flicker around LR's suit, and Dirk's own body lights up with sparks of gray and white light, guiding him* CSS: =|==> *They land far from their initial site, straight down into the ruins closest to the Iguana village. Stone shatters and fires into the sky like an artillery salvo as the both of them go crashing down into its deepest depths* CSS: =|==> *In a hushed moment, the sound of battle ceases, leaving Dirk and his foe lying broken at the bottom of the temple as Kamina rushes to aid.* CSS: =|==> *Dirk, landing on top of the Agent, picks himself up and rolls off to the side, gasping for breath. His automail arm is shattered.* CSS: =|==> THAT... was for everyone you've killed. CSS: =|==> Feel their pain... you bastard. CLR: *LR is unable to respond. He seems to have come down with a bad case of death.* CSS: =|==> *Dirk coughs out a stream of blood, and chuckles a bit.* CSS: =|==> Damn. I was hoping... you'd live long enough to lecture a bit. CSS: =|==> *He smiles as he sees the familiar glow of Kaminasprite descending through the hole he's made in the temple.* CKS: Well, that was fun! CSS: =|==> I guess... I'm feeling kind of like shit though... so I guess we won? CKS: Well, judging by the bloody mess that used to be your enemy... yeah, I think we won! CKS: Yeesh, you don't look too good, do you? CKS: Come on, let's get you back home. CSS: =|==> To be honest... I don't think I'd have been able to even talk back if he'd gotten up after that one. CSS: =|==> Yeah... yeah home sounds nice.
There is no fanfare as the brotherly sprite carries his charge home. The war is still coming, and all they have done is hasten its arrival. But all is not lost, for what was proven is greater than the effort it took.
You frown once you finish reading the MESSAGE and give the area a look around.You can't help but wonder where everyone has gone.The VAGUE MESSAGE has done nothing to ease your confusion or worry.Did they leave of their own accord?Or did someone,or something,force them to leave.You admit that that last question sounded a bit paranoid,but considering what this day has been like,being a little paranoid couldn't hurt.Especially with the Black Queen's minions about.
You go from HUT to HUT,looking for FOOTPRINTS or any other sign of where the SALAMANDERS could have gone.You do hope they are alright.You're the Hero of this Land and its your duty to protect these people.
Holding your irritation in check, you inform the CURIOUS FELLOW that he clearly doesn't understand what it means to be a STREET-TOUGH MAVERICK WITH NOTHING TO LOSE! There's no time for SEXUAL REMARKS when you're so busy DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES!
>Rich: This is stupid.
Yeah okay you go ahead and collect the GRIST WINDFALL.
>Xavier: Abscond to the pillar
Swooping over to the pillar, you land at GS' side, peeking at the fight from afar, "We can't leave Dirk's Sister!" You yell, "I won't leave anyone behind. I'll think of something."
>Xavier: Plan
Well, you still have two KUNAIS, the ability to fly, a dangerously destructive cohort and ship made out other ship. The odds are not looking in your favour, so you revert to your old standby; Plan X, rush in with nothing planned!
>Plan X: Commence
"Wait here." You command GS. You quickly fly back to the fight, KUNAI drawn.
>Dirk: As KAMINASPRITE carries you across the vast wastes between the OBELISK and your house, you feel the familiar sensation of ascending up your ECHELADDER.
Level up! Level 63 Battleroom Buddy!
The resulting boost in strength and various other stats makes you feel a little bit better. Collecting some VITALITY GEL from various IMPS along the way certainly doesn't hurt either.
Soon, you arrive back at your house, where things seem to be in fairly decent order. There's now a statue of you standing on the roof; Snake-Eyes seems to be napping next to it.
>Greg: Your up until-now LATENT TRACKING SKILLS suddenly awaken! You now know how to track SALAMANDER FOOTPRINTS!
Using these new found abilities, you scour the ground, and discover that its simply littered with paw-prints, all heading towards the east. It seems that the Consorts vacated the place in a hurry!
As you investigate, you notice a bright light slowly moving across the sky.
>Xavier: As you begin to fly back down the hallway, a large chunk of floor/wall/door flies towards your face, accompanied by a burst of insults and swears that, due both to their horrifying nature and the character spouting them, cannot be transcribed here.
Nevertheless, you get the distinct impression that SIS does not want you to rejoin the fight.
[21:20] -- unopressedAgitator [UA] began pestering truculentConservationist [TC] at 21:20 --
[21:20] UA: yo bitchtits
[21:20] TC: You're in an atypically pleasant mood.
[21:20] UA: my mood is AlwAys fuckiNG plEAsANt
[21:21] TC: Indubitably.
[21:21] UA: i sEE you ARE tAlkiNG to A schEmiNG fEllow
[21:21] UA: A RAthER dAshiNG ************
[21:22] TC: Control your lust.
[21:22] UA: oh mAN i Am slowly stRokiNG thE scREEN RiGht Now
[21:22] UA: i cAN hARdly coNtAiN my boNE bulGE fRom cRAckiNG thE GlAss suRfAcE ANd GoiNG to towN oN thAt ************
[21:23] TC: He can never be yours.
[21:23] TC: You need to move on.
[21:23] UA: but i must tRy
[21:23] UA: foR my hEARt woNt lEt mE movE oN lEst i do it
[21:23] UA: ANd holy fuck whEN did i bEcomE so fuckiNG wEiRd
[21:23] TC: I'm not an authority on the matter.
[21:24] TC: Your monitor might know.
[21:24] TC: It's been eying you for a while now.
[21:24] UA: hE must NEvER
[21:25] UA: but All this fuckiNG wEiRdNEss AsidE
[21:25] TC: Indeed.
[21:25] UA: thAt schEmiNG dudE
[21:25] UA: you should RuN fRom him
[21:26] TC: I thought you found him dashing.
[21:26] TC: That seems a bit incongruous with abject terror.
[21:26] UA: AbjEct tERRoR cAN bE AlluRiNG
[21:26] UA: but ***** doNt chANcE thE subjEct
[21:27] UA: youRE GoNNA RuN fRom him bEcAusE i told you to
[21:27] TC: I'd like more of an explanation than that.
[21:27] UA: fuck doNt bE difficult
[21:27] UA: thE dudE is tRoublE
[21:28] TC: "Trouble" isn't really enough to send me running in fear.
[21:29] UA: dudE hE tAlks iN two diffERENt voicEs ANd is clothEd likE NothiNG ElsE iN thE fuckiNG GAmE
[21:29] UA: hE is cAsuAlly bANtERiNG whilE hE dEstRoyEd thAt shit which GAvE you thAt huGE GiRst wiNdfAll
[21:29] UA: which is Almost oN pAR with youR fuckiNG dENizEN
[21:29] UA: NotE thE Almost
[21:29] TC: All of that could make him a valuable ally.
[21:30] UA: would it hElp if i sAid plEAsE
[21:31] TC: So far, your argument could be summarized as "I have a vague hunch about this individual."
[21:31] TC: So no, not really.
[21:31] UA: AlRiGht thEN ************
[21:31] TC: Do you have any more definite evidence?
[21:32] UA: i suspEct thE Guy is AN AGENt fRom thE bEiNG who EAts uNivERsEs ANd is iN complEtE coNtRol of timE ANd possibly spAcE ANd hE is thERE to kill you both so you doNt GEt iN thE wAy of cREAtiNG him
[21:32] TC: See?
[21:32] TC: Now we're getting somewhere.
[21:32] TC: What leads you to suspect that?
[21:32] UA: his outfit mostly
[21:33] UA: Also i sEE you two RuN likE two sEcoNds AftER you stop tAlkiNG to mE
[21:34] TC: That could be a lie, in an intriguingly futile attempt to convince me to follow your advice.
[21:34] TC: But I'm leaning towards believing it.
[21:34] UA: most likEly bEcAusE whAt thE fuck do i hAvE to GAiN fRom lyiNG to my sAviouRs
[21:35] TC: Your statement does, however, bring up another interesting question.
[21:35] UA: it AlwAys fuckiNG doEs
[21:35] TC: If he has complete control over time, how can we hope to oppose him?
[21:35] UA: No No
[21:35] UA: thE dudE hE is woRkiNG foR hAs coNtRol ovER timE
[21:35] TC: Oh.
[21:35] UA: this dudE pRobAbly oNly cAN kill you two with likE A kick to thE hEAdpAN oR somEthiNG
[21:36] TC: I suppose the question remains, but can continue to exist in the shadows for a while longer.
[21:37] UA: so whAts it GoNNA bE
[21:37] TC: Well, given what I already knew about the situation, I believe your analysis is correct.
[21:37] UA: swEEt
[21:37] TC: So we are going to get the fuck out of dodge.
[21:37] UA: coolbEANs
[21:38] TC: I'll inform Chas, and we'll fulfill your prophetic vision momentarily.
[21:38] UA: oh hEy cAN you Ask him if hE Got thE SpAdEs stuff AlREAdy
[21:39] TC: Um, ok.
[21:39] TC: This seems like not a priority at the moment but whatever.
[21:39] UA: dudE fAshioN is AlwAys of pRioRity
[21:40] TC: I'll make a note of that.
[21:41] TC: And, Illire?
[21:41] TC: Thanks.
[21:41] UA: foR wARNiNG yA?
[21:41] TC: Yes.
[21:41] TC: Being dead is my least favorite thing to do.
[21:41] UA: I cAN imAGiNE
[21:42] UA: but its cool bRo
[21:43] TC: Were we in person, we would brofist and ride our motorcycles into the sunset.
[21:43] TC: Wow I'm wasting a lot of time and really should be getting on with the fleeing.
[21:43] UA: yEAh its About timE
[21:43] TC: Yeah. Bye.
[21:43] -- truculentConservationist [TC] ceased pestering unopressedAgitator [UA] at 21:43 --
Chatting with Illire is always such a pleasure.
>Rich: Inform Chas of plight.
You begin frantically whispering to your FELLOW RENEGADE that this guy is PROBABLY ABOUT TO TRY AND MURDER THE TWO OF YOU.
>Greg:Throw caution to the wind and do the impossible.
You frown when you spot the bright light that seems to be slowly moving across the sky.What ever it is,you just know it can't be good.But finding out what that is is not your priority right now.You need to find out what happened to the CONSORTS and why they left in such a hurry,and if they are in trouble.
You take a deep then you started to make your way toward the EAST,following the paw-prints closely,all the while using your SPACEY POWERS to shorten the journey.You just hope you're not to late.
>Rich: Despite your attempts to hide your FRANTIC WHISPERING toward your fellow MEAT-BAG, Nox seems to pick up on them. It might have something to do with all the extravagant pointing and gesturing your doing his way.
"Um...Can I help you with something?Do you need a lift somewhere or something?"
[hr]
>Greg: Be unable to do the impossible. Sadly settle for the possible. Luckily for you, following a bunch of tracks is something that falls far within the realm of doable. Yay reality!
Setting off into the vast wilderness of LOCAF, you follow the TRACKS for a few minutes. Though you attempt to teleport ahead every now and then, to shorten the journey, you find that the method is somewhat ineffective, due to the chaotic and rambling nature of the trail. It zig-zags back and forth, seemingly without purpose or direction. It even loops around on itself a few times.
In addition, the shiny speck in the sky begins to draw your attention. Over the past few minutes, it's grown exponentially, and seems to be moving faster and faster. Oddly enough, it looks kind of familiar. Like something you saw outside your house a few days ago, right before all this craziness started going down.
Right, sorry for not posting for, well, forever. Blaming a combination of school, work, family, CJ, and the depression clown for that.
>Xavier: Pretend like this was all apart of your plan
You'll be damned if you give GS the pleasure of knowing that your plan failed! That Gratuitous Shit will Giddily Snicker at your Gigantic Snafu and you know your not Gonna Submit to him!
You dash back to pillar and grab GS, and dash back to the ship, muttering to yourself, and inveterately to GS, "All according to plan!"
>Greg:Quit using Spacey Powers while trying to follow the trail
After the fourth or fifth time of losing the trail from jumping too far ahead you decide that it might be a good idea to give the Spacey Powers a break for the moment.You do have to admit to yourself that you are liking the power rush it brings,but you need to be careful lest you start to go too far.There is already one out of control Hero.This place doesn't need two.
When you see the spiny bright speck in the sky again you can't help but get the feeling you have seen it before today.Infact,you are sure of it.Several days ago,outside your HOUSE,before all of this started.
You shake your head and keep moving on.While the scholar in you would love to find out more about the speck,the Hero in you knows that you need to find the SALAMANDERS first.Once that is done the speck will be your next objective.
You continue to follow the trail on foot,all the while keeping an eye to the SKY and the speck for any signs of trouble.
"Well, Kamina, I went through the final dungeon. I met my denizen, I got my key to save the universe--from what and how, I don't know. And then the two of us went and beat my own personal nemesis. And I'm still so fucking weak. What now?"
Oh, hell no. HELL NO. It's been ages since you lot last showed up; don't act like we're all palsy and shit after everything that just happened. Just... Just get out. I don't even know how you got in my office anyway; seriously, why the fuck did I even hire that secretary if she's just going to let the riffraff in? The door's right over thataway; I trust you know how to operate a... door... knob...
Okay, so the door seems to have been buried behind a landslide of paperwork, coffee mugs, and FANCY SANTAS. Again. Don't worry, there's no need to panic. There are protocols and plans set up for exactly this kind of situation; already my minions and underlings will be preparing to dig us out. They've trained for this, they've got the right tools. They'll have you all out of here in about... four weeks.
[small]Oh my God I hate you all so, so much.[/small]
You know what? FINE. Let's continue this unholy charade a bit longer. It's not like the few remaining dregs of sanity I have left could possibly be damaged any further by your asinine and grandiose idiocy, and Lord knows I'm not going to just sit around and let you self-absorbed nincompoops rummage through my things for the next month.
So shut up, clean out your ears, and sit your asses down. Here's what's gonna happen... And no, that's my box of licorice. Get your own damn refreshments.
The odds of it suddenly becoming animate and deciding to eat all of you aren't all that high.
[hr]
>Xavier: After that lovely bit of WORDPLAY, you find that you have earned 12,578 BONUS POINTS! (Please note that BONUS POINTS do not affect any gameplay stats, are not used to earn levels/achievements, will not open the Secret Door, and are, in fact, pretty much entirely useless)
Though he grumbles resentfully, GS allows you to drag him along, only hitting you three or four times in the face before you make it back to the CRASHED SHIP.
Sadly, it turns out that there aren't any handy signs directing you towards a CRASHED SHIP, or a HEAVILY DAMAGED ARIEL-FLIGHT VESSEL, or even a FLAMING PILE OF WRECKAGE AND SHARP OBJECTS. Without anything to guide you, you and your dragging-buddy soon become lost in the labyrinthine HALLS AND PASSAGEWAYS that make up Derse's palace. After a few minutes you have no idea where you are, though you do know your a couple floors above the KITCHENS, and three doors down from the INTERIOR SWIMMING POOL.
Suddenly, as though by a stroke of divine providence, you stumble across a mysteriously unmarked chamber. Poking your head inside, you spot the same purple walls and decorations you've seen a thousand times over, but otherwise the room seems surprisingly bare; no desks, no FENSTRATED WALLS, no guards, no torture chambers, no prison cells, no nothing!
It takes a few seconds, accompanied by GS' throat-clearing and pointing, for you to notice the STRANGE PLATFORMS set into the floor. There seem to be six of the odd objects, each a circular dais no more than a couple inches tall. Made of (Surprise surprise) purple stone, the platforms are inscribed with a strange pattern, a set of intersecting triangles and lines that mesh together into some confusing array of angles and sides. Though you suspect that the markings have some obscure meaning, it's currently beyond you.
Any musings you might be having on the matter are quickly disrupted, however, as an emerald flash of light suddenly fills the center of the room.
[hr]
>Greg: Dodge that METEORITE like a boss. Or at least a HERO. Luckily for you, it seems as though the powers that be are keeping an eye on you. Or is that unlucky? Eh, details like that can be sorted out later; right now there's a couple tons of BURNING ROCK AND DEATH hurtling towards you that requires your immediate attention.
Without further ado, you quickly will yourself a good distance away from your current location, popping into existence about a mile away from the impact site. Whatever part of you that isn't occupied watching the roiling flames and spray of debris notes that, for some reason, this teleportation seemed to have taken more out of you than any of your previous ones. Mayhaps it had something to do with the immediate danger? Eh, again, details like that can be sorted out later; for now it's time to check out the thing that almost killed you!
The trek back to your previous location soon becomes a tricky one; furrows of earth have been torn away, and dozens of felled and burning trees impede your path. What's more, an incredible heat fills the air; sweat is already coating your body, even when you're still a few hundred yards from the blazing crater.
Eventually, however, the blistering warmth dies down, and you finally force yourself close enough to examine the scorched depression. Unsurprisingly, you can spot several chunks of space-rock, its once cherry-red surface cooled to a soft cinnamon hue. What does catch you off guard are the pieces of seared machinery scattered around the crater; it looks like there's enough jagged metal and sparking wires here to build a rocket! Despite the heavy damage that the technology has suffered, you can still make out the material's purple coloring.
There is one other item of interest: Among all the rock and metal, a STRANGE PLATFORM has emerged; your best guess would be that someone or something had hidden it underground, and that the force of the impact effectively dug it up. No more than a couple inches high, the circular dais seems to be inscribed with a mysterious pattern; it has to mean something, but what?
[hr]
>Rich: Success! Dragging Chas' limp body along behind you, you quickly make for the edge of the STATUARY PLATFORM, ignoring your pal's pained groans as he bounces off the solid rock.
Though the display of trust in Illire's advice was truly touching, moving enough to bring a tear to the eye of even the most hardened of GODMONSTERS, it is somewhat downplayed by your inability to escape the clutches of DODGE. As you near the edge of the platform, you screech to a halt, barely stopping yourself from hurtling over the edge and into the seemingly bottomless chasm that surrounds you. No matter how hard you strain your eyes, you're unable to spot anything besides the ground you're currently standing on.
"Well, I guess the subtle approach isn't really going to work, is it?"
In an instant, two things happen: First, you feel someone laying a hand on your shoulder; seeing as how it's obviously not yours, and that Chas' hands never felt quite so large, process of elimination leads you to believe that the fingered appendage belongs to Nox. Second, you stop.
Your body becomes rigid and immobile, your eyes become locked in place, even your heart stops beating. The only part of you that seems to be working is your hearing, as Nox's disappointed tone fills your ears. "So this is what happens when I try to be friendly:you guys ignore me and then run away like cluckbeasts with their heads chopped off.
"Fine, fine, whatever.I can still make this work."
You can hear what sounds like the fabric of reality being torn in half, and feel a thoroughly unpleasant mixture of cold and warmth suddenly wash over you. The grip on your shoulder suddenly tightens, and you feel yourself being picked up off the ground and spun through the air. With Chas still trailing behind you, you're suddenly flung through the air, towards a green portal that seems to be floating in midair. Just before you tumble into the emerald hole, you find that you're suddenly capable of movement again, and also catch Nox's irritated grimace as he watches you depart, a large scythe clutched in one of his hands.
Then, you find yourself hurtling through an immeasurable distance, surrounded by naught but flashes of light and some kind of evil chuckle. Frantically, you close your eyes, but find that your vision is still being assaulted by some horrendous shape.
Mercifully, it is only a few seconds (Or maybe several years) later that you find yourself exiting that unspeakable place, emerging into a small, purple room and painfully colliding with the floor. Dragging your face off of the hard stone, you glance around, and find yourself staring at a guy dressed in purple pajamas and dragging around a wrench-waving Dersite.
Just when you thought this day couldn't get any weirder...
[hr]
>Dirk: Be admonished. You're somewhat stymied when KAMINASPRITE bursts out laughing. "Come on Dirk, don't tell me that you already think you're done! Just because you met your Denizen once doesn't mean that you're done with him, and if you think that was the final dungeon... Well, let's just say that you've got a looooong way to go."
After a few minutes, KAMINASPRITE's laughter dies down, and he shoots you an encouraging grin. "But before I go into that, what say you focus on the obstacles that are right in front of you. Who was it that was taunting you a while back, saying that she had your SIS somewhere and was gonna kill her? Who was it that wanted you to just give up and stop fighting, to surrender and let it all end?
"You want to get stronger? Then who exactly do you think you have to beat?"
Your guide gives you some directions, to a STRANGE PLATFORM not too far away that some of the IMPS and IGUANAS had stumbled across. Though they might not have known what it was for, KAMINASPRITE assures you that it'll help you on your quest.
You say your goodbyes to KAMINASPRITE once more, and pick up SNAKE EYES from his resting point. You tell him that you're sorry he has to be all caught up in the excitement again, but you don't think you feel like going on this next adventure by yourself.
It's not hard to get through your land anymore. At all, really, since the biggest adversaries you come across are imps. Like THAT'S gonna stop you, right?
Anyways, you reach the PLATFORM, and take a closer look.
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