Well guys...

[Dr Pussymagnet]

...At nine o' clock tonight I have to go with my cousin to go see...


*shudders*


...Twilight, and I can't get out of it.

So I ask you guys, what should I do to make this easier for me while having to sit in the theater?

And I've already tried asking my way out of it, so not going isn't an option.

EDIT: Alright I saw the movie, no more suggestions, let this thread die out.

 

[Aardvark]

Suicide.

 

[Zallest]

Use the boost to get through! If not a barrel roll is always a option, Star fox 64 has never let me down!

 

[The Iron Ninja]

Here's my handy five step guide

1. Obtain corkscrew
2. Plunge corkscrew into eyeball and twist
3. Repeat process on other eyeball
4. Plunge corkscrew into ear and twist
5. Repeat process on other ear.

Alternatively, you could go in, grinning like a maniac, and continuously yell out (in a fake excited tone) "Wow! This is great! Vampires are so cool! I'm going to dye my hair black and cut myself to be more like them!" in as loud a voice as you can muster until the theatre police kick you out.

 

[Arleer157]

Keep telling yourself that they all die in the end.
It's not true, but it makes it more satisfying to know that all the bloody fucking twats rot.
Pardon my language.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Buy lots of sweets and don't share them. I imagine s/he'll be droolling over the main guy anyway. XD
Catching up on your sleep is a good idea too.

 

[xitel]

Go to sleep.

 

[Easykill]

Suicide.

No need to go that far, a just enough drugs to get yourself sent to the hospital should work. That or kawarami no jutsu.

...Damn, I feel like a nerd

 

[Arleer157]

Suicide.

No need to go that far, a just enough drugs to get yourself sent to the hospital should work. That or kawarami no jutsu.

...Damn, I feel like a nerd

Naruto = NO.

 

[Combined]

Spontaneous combustion?

 

[Aardvark]

No need to go that far, a just enough drugs to get yourself sent to the hospital should work. That or kawarami no jutsu.

...Damn, I feel like a nerd

Fine then, pussy, if suicide is too heavy and brutal for you to deal with, I'll change my vote.

Wait 5 minutes, go out to take a piss and don't come back until the thing is over.

Go hit up an arcade while you wait. Tell your cousin you couldn't find the seat, so you sat somewhere else.

 

[Fruhstuck]

Applause everything
You'll get kicked out

Alternatively: make a sexual slur about your attendents - male or female, it'll work lol

 

[E-mantheseeker]

I would say ruin the plot in the movie, but most of those girls know it by heart anyway from the book so, i would be a jackass throughout the movie (helped me and my friends through it)

"Where the hell are his fangs?"
"sunlight makes him sparkle? what a *****"
"blade would totally kick his ass"

or you could just sleep, honestly the movie is so bad it's funny anyway, so you may get some laughs off

 

[Dr Pussymagnet]

Edward's cold, pale, soft, marble, porcelain, silky skin.

That's what I'm trying to get away from.

 

[snuffler]

Herein lies the solution to your problem: Twilight is, and always will be, a chick flick. Here you are, man of the hour, taking your cousin to see a movie to what might be the darkest moment of your life...but if you focus your attention away from the screen and onto the audience...well things might just brighten up a little bit. (assuming you are a man and women are your fortay) Other than that though, you're pretty much boned.

Catch up on some z's.

 

[Gelp]

Maybe if you were on acid it would turn into a cool concert of whatever band you like.
Or maybe you'll realize how much you need to take off your clothes, and then dance in technicolor madness. They'll have to take you home.

 

[Dr Pussymagnet]

Spontaneous combustion?

One can hope.

 

[Fire Daemon]

I saw Twilight and I know the secrets of enjoying it. Yes thats right, enjoying it!

The film leaves these subtle hints through out the first half (before that god awful I'm a vampire scene) such as the those apples that pop up in a few scenes. I spent the most of the movie wondering to myself what the hell those apples meant. My mind then linked back to the story Adam and Eve, this got me thinking to "what if these Vampires destroyed humanity with nukes and from the ashes created the Garden of Eden and what would it be like if they did". Kind of corny, yes, but it's better than Twilight don't you think? I then started to think about Fallout 3 and the King Mirelurk that killed me. What was the deal with him, and why was he in the old Vault? This lead back to my original idea. If there where human survivors would they fight the vampires?

What you need to do is remove yourself utterly from the movie and retreat inside your own mind. Thats the only way the only way to come out with a smile on your face.

That or make fun of those that enjoy the movie. It'll be hard not to when everyone laughs at that stupid Italian food joke.

 

[flood juices]

asking to not go? psh. I would refuse to move. if your going into that theater, you are going because they dragged you in. kicking and screaming.

 

[The Iron Ninja]

Pretend that you think it's a comedy and laugh as loud as you can at everything anyone ever says.
Not only will you get kicked out by the theatre police, but your cousin will be so embarrassed she'll never make you go with her to movies again.