Were you ever hit/spanked as a child?

[teqrevisited]

Yep. And aided by a sovereign ring, no less. I didn't get in serious trouble too often, but when I did I knew about it.

I forget whatever I did once, but I remember only hitting the stairs twice on the way up for it. Sounds worse than it was really, and I don't hold any of it against him. I wouldn't have any other dad.

 

[DasDestroyer]

Just once, but they made up for it by getting angry, yelling and punishing me over every little thing.
Got lower than a B- for my homework? An hour of yelling and telling me how worthless I am, followed by a week without being allowed on the computer.

Actually, I need your advice here.
My girlfriend is in the same kind of position, and then some. I won't go into details because it's actually very depressing. (She's been told to move out in the morning so many times, and when she was complimented by her mother, she started crying. She's also been brought up to hate her dad, who's a fantastic person, but she's okay with him [though he doesn't get the praise he deserves]). Basically an incredibly mental abusive parent.
But she can't see it, and it's damaging her self esteem and mind set terribly. I worry about her every night and day.
I need to know if there's something that can help her break free of that kind of thinking, because it's just plain awful.
I don't know if your two experiences are anything like similar, but it's worth the chance - So, is there any advice you can give me to help her?

Well, my situation wasn't nearly as bad. I'd describe my dad (since he was mostly the one disciplining me) as really strict and short tempered, rather than all the way mental and abusive. He wanted me to do well, and got angry when I didn't meet his expectations, which was nearly all of the time. But the best you can do, to my knowledge, is to be at her side as often as possible and support her, primarily morally. And if she's of legal age, perhaps even get her to actually move out, rather than having her parents kick her out, or threaten to.

 

[ultimateownage]

If I was being a little shit I'd get a slap round the ear'ole, but that's pretty much the extent of it.

 

[Ace of Spades]

No, but then I was never the type to act out. If any authority figure ever tried to hit me, though, I would've hit back, because I operated under the rule that if you are polite and respectful, then you'll receive the same. You lay a hand on me, and you'll receive the same.

 

[lacktheknack]

Several times as a bratty little tool. I'm no longer a bratty little tool.

 

[blaqknoise]

I got spanked. Though, I think most people did.

After a few years my parents stopped doing that though. They felt horrible each time they spanked me and my brother and couldn't do it anymore.

 

[imnot]

Coming from a black family, I got hit all the time. Spanked with a belt... Ah, the good ol' days (sarcasm).

WHats having a black family got to do with it, or am I missing something?

OT: occasionaly when I'd been bad, and you know what it worked!

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

Disciplined was the word we used. Didn't enjoy it one bit (but I was a wild child and I'm sure I deserved it a few times). Still, being disciplined via spanking was a means to stay in line, not abuse. I know it wasn't because abuse consists of excessive force (bleeding, bruising, emotional or physical scars).

It blew out my 'wild child' fuse and I've made it perfectly clear that I would resist striking my kids when I raise them (I'm sure there are a lot of more creative punishments than a chancla to the butt).

 

[ChildishLegacy]

Am I the only one who didn't get hit here? Infact most the people know I could probably say they were never hit as a child either, maybe it's just not the way of doing things here in the UK.

When I did something wrong I wasn't hit so that I just plain wouldn't do it, I would have it explained to me as to why it was wrong, so that I would CHOOSE to not do it rather than be scared to do it. Morality > Fear imo, if I ever have kids that's the philosophy I'm going to adopt.

 

[WOPR]

I was hit quite a bit, stopped around age 16/17
not sure which

 

[D0WNT0WN]

I wasnt hit as far as I remember but I do remember being really shouted at by my father. I may have been slapped by my mother once.

I turned out fine though.

 

[Fwee]

Wooden spoons, belts, yardsticks, backhand-slaps, and one time my dad hit me with the fucking couch. They pretty much stopped at the point when they realized they couldn't hurt me any more, and I could hurt them plenty back.
Still waiting for the best opportunity to pay it all back in two very big outbursts. Or one, if I can trick them into being in the same place at the same time.
Maybe I can fake my own death, and just as they walk up to the casket, all the doors get locked from the outside, and I jump out of the box dressed up like Legion of Doom, but with actual functional spikes on the armor, and just kick the living fuck out of them for a while.

 

[Lord Kloo]

Never, my younger brother was born with severe autism and so they couldn't really hit him if he did anything wrong.. I think they saw the light and that they would just have to put up with whatever their offspring did.

 

[alandavidson]

I was spanked, never hit. It was all done in a very controlled, disciplinary manner, not in an abusive way.

I've said this before on a similar thread here, corporeal punishment is a fine line that parents have to walk. Abuse is accepted where I'm from, and it's housed under the guise of "discipline". It's more about the parents learning what discipline works best for their child and then being consistent with executing it.

 

[priestswearseatbelts]

I was never hit as a child. I was never troublesome as a child and, thus far, I have not been in trouble with the law; as an adult.

I had quite a privileged upbringing. My parents are, both, very well educated.

I would never hit a child. If you are incapable of administering discipline in a non violent method. You should reconsider raising a child. As you lack the verbal means with which to reason with them. Not to mention the mental capacity to outwit one.

 

[Giest4life]

Wooden spoons, belts, yardsticks, backhand-slaps, and one time my dad hit me with the fucking couch. They pretty much stopped at the point when they realized they couldn't hurt me any more, and I could hurt them plenty back.
Still waiting for the best opportunity to pay it all back in two very big outbursts. Or one, if I can trick them into being in the same place at the same time.
Maybe I can fake my own death, and just as they walk up to the casket, all the doors get locked from the outside, and I jump out of the box dressed up like Legion of Doom, but with actual functional spikes on the armor, and just kick the living fuck out of them for a while.

You'll get over the resentment. I was hit aplenty when I was a kid, and I spent a lot of time brooding on possible comebacks and revenge schemes. But now that I'm of the age that I can I have a drink with my dad at the bar, I pretty much think I deserved those smacks. Hang in there.

Also, hit with a couch? Da fuq?

 

[Fwee]

Not actually harboring resentment or anything, just joking. Although my parents are clueless pricks a lot of the time.

 

[Free Thinker]

Of course I was hit as a child. I was being a little shit sometimes, so I deserved it. It's something that is definitely lacking now in parenting.
"Your kid is a living breathing vacuum of suckitude."
"Please drug your children."
-Denis Leary

 

[F'Angus]

I was a horrible child...so yes I was hit. Don't think it was a bad thing though.

 

[rosac]

I got thrown into a wall for self harming. yeah, my family could be fun at times.