What are the weirdest/Funniest lines you heard in video games?

[Cain_Zeros]

"Would you please refrain from SHOOTING ME IN THE ASS!" - allied AI in Enemy Territory: Quake Wars, on being shot. Or, rather, just happening to be within the blast radius when a friend of mine fired a rocket launcher.

Sounds more like something that would be heard in Mercenaries 2

Maybe, but it wasn't.

should have, I mean the merc gets shot in the ass right in the beggining

Well, it'd definitely work then...

 

[PissOffRoth]

"Me not that kind of orc!" - Peon in Warcraft III
Ugh... Oh God... What...? They actually have that kind of orc...? *retches*

"Please! No more kicking!" - Gretchen in Dawn of War
Worst day manager ever? AMIRITE?!

 

[PissOffRoth]

"I'll bite your kneecaps off" - Grunt from Halo, actually anyything said by them is pretty random and funny

Or the Brutes with the IWHBYD skull on. Kill one and another yells "My lover!!!!"
GROSS.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

I would say anything said by the various Pokemon Trainers you encounter in the Pokemon games.
The example of "I like shorts" was already said, another example, I think it was from Ruby/Sapphire, "My innertube looks like a big doughnut." ...what?
Being a kid's game doesn't excuse these wackball lines.

 

[bojac6]

ugh ... anything any character says in the SOUL CALIBUR series if the spoken language is set to English - the very first thing I do when I get one of those games is switch the language to Japanese.

But then you miss out on "WORMS!" And Rafael's incredibly flaming "Let's dance!" What's the point of those games if you can't start shouting "WORMS!" at each other while playing?

"I'll bite your kneecaps off" - Grunt from Halo, actually anyything said by them is pretty random and funny

Or the Brutes with the IWHBYD skull on. Kill one and another yells "My lover!!!!"
GROSS.

I always thought they said "Brother" not "Lover." Either way, what's gross about that? Birds do it, bees do it, even giant gorilla-ish aliens do it. Gotta get Brutes from somewhere.

 

[PissOffRoth]

I always thought they said "Brother" not "Lover." Either way, what's gross about that? Birds do it, bees do it, even giant gorilla-ish aliens do it. Gotta get Brutes from somewhere.

It's usually brother. But IWHBYD is fucking weird. And I always just assumed that they had females that actually were female-ish? Instead of identical in every way to their male counterparts... All the Covenant seem to just spring out of holes. They don't seem keen on females. In fact, most aliens in most games are gender-specific races. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?????

 

[Tenkage]

ugh ... anything any character says in the SOUL CALIBUR series if the spoken language is set to English - the very first thing I do when I get one of those games is switch the language to Japanese.

But then you miss out on "WORMS!" And Rafael's incredibly flaming "Let's dance!" What's the point of those games if you can't start shouting "WORMS!" at each other while playing?

"I'll bite your kneecaps off" - Grunt from Halo, actually anyything said by them is pretty random and funny

Or the Brutes with the IWHBYD skull on. Kill one and another yells "My lover!!!!"
GROSS.

I always thought they said "Brother" not "Lover." Either way, what's gross about that? Birds do it, bees do it, even giant gorilla-ish aliens do it. Gotta get Brutes from somewhere.

I have a question...ever see a female brute in this army?

 

[KnightofBlades]

Has to be Mordin from ME2 : Can't talk now. Trying to determine how scale-itch got on board. Sexually transmitted disease only carried by varren. Implications unpleasant.

 

[Tenkage]

Has to be Mordin from ME2 : Can't talk now. Trying to determine how scale-itch got on board. Sexually transmitted disease only carried by varren. Implications unpleasant.

Anything he says makes me grin, seriously I hope to see him again in ME3

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

LEEROY JENKINS!
Shouted by a teammate at max volume right before he did a suicidal charge into the enemy base. Never understood why as it wasn't his real name or nickname. Later I saw the video of the original and it all made sense.

"Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and strangely enough, not many meatbags would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose... against statistically long odds."
Oh HK-47, how I loved keeping you in the party just for the comedic relief.

 

[Tenkage]

LEEROY JENKINS!
Shouted by a teammate at max volume right before he did a suicidal charge into the enemy base. Never understood why as it wasn't his real name or nickname. Later I saw the video of the original and it all made sense.

"Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and strangely enough, not many meatbags would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose... against statistically long odds."
Oh HK-47, how I loved keeping you in the party just for the comedic relief.

Whats scary is that it is totally true

 

[bojac6]

snip

It's usually brother. But IWHBYD is fucking weird. And I always just assumed that they had females that actually were female-ish? Instead of identical in every way to their male counterparts... All the Covenant seem to just spring out of holes. They don't seem keen on females. In fact, most aliens in most games are gender-specific races. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?????

It's true. Mass Effect is very guilty of that. No female Salarians or Krogans.

snip

I have a question...ever see a female brute in this army?

...Maybe? Would female brutes necessarily look any different? Otherwise, still, no problem with gay brutes. Maybe they're like spartans (the historical kind, not the Halo kind), and all the male soldiers just have some fun with each other while deployed.

 

[Tenkage]

snip

It's usually brother. But IWHBYD is fucking weird. And I always just assumed that they had females that actually were female-ish? Instead of identical in every way to their male counterparts... All the Covenant seem to just spring out of holes. They don't seem keen on females. In fact, most aliens in most games are gender-specific races. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?????

It's true. Mass Effect is very guilty of that. No female Salarians or Krogans.

snip

I have a question...ever see a female brute in this army?

...Maybe? Would female brutes necessarily look any different? Otherwise, still, no problem with gay brutes. Maybe they're like spartans (the historical kind, not the Halo kind), and all the male soldiers just have some fun with each other while deployed.

Well We have seen a female Elite (in Halo Legends) but I'm not sure if that counts...still I wonder if the female brutes are the docile ones...or meaner then the males.....maybe thats a question for another day

 

[[Insert Evil Laugh Here]]

]I'

]'Fraid not. The one that really threw me was late mid game. I think it was with a quest giver, or possibly with Alvin. It was really mindbogglingly bizarre. A mixture of non-sequiter, illogical sentence structure and irrelevance.

Go back and play it or look for it online for us! Dude! Don't leave us hangin'!

Gah! No way! That would be like skimming through the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy, except instead of just skim reading, I'd have to stop every five minutes to stab a drowner in the nuts, and reload whenever a kikimore got the better of me.

Im currently playing through the enhanced edition, any idea what quest it was on?

Sorry no. I do, however, recall that a recurring NPC was involved. The dialogue chain was late on and wasn't a critical one; that's probably why they missed it. I talked to everyone about everything though (the way I play most RPG's) to get the most out of the game. I can only recommend you do the same.

 

[Tenkage]

]

]I'

]'Fraid not. The one that really threw me was late mid game. I think it was with a quest giver, or possibly with Alvin. It was really mindbogglingly bizarre. A mixture of non-sequiter, illogical sentence structure and irrelevance.

Go back and play it or look for it online for us! Dude! Don't leave us hangin'!

Gah! No way! That would be like skimming through the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy, except instead of just skim reading, I'd have to stop every five minutes to stab a drowner in the nuts, and reload whenever a kikimore got the better of me.

Im currently playing through the enhanced edition, any idea what quest it was on?

Sorry no. I do, however, recall that a recurring NPC was involved. The dialogue chain was late on and wasn't a critical one; that's probably why they missed it. I talked to everyone about everything though (the way I play most RPG's) to get the most out of the game. I can only recommend you do the same.

Don't talk to everyone in Two worlds, they sound the same, and only say the same useless information

 

[OceanRunner]

Found this on a computer in Germantown-FO3

911 Dispatcher: "911 what is the nature of your emergency?"

Man: "(Excitedly - the wings on my shoes shrunk and now the moths won't eat my kidneys! When I shake my state capitol it only yields three fairy napkins but how(interrupted)"

911 Dispatcher: "Could you please repeat that sir?"

Man: (continuing) my banana slippers are like water boats because the moon winks sometimes it burns my hamster punches (interrupted)"

911 Dispatcher: "Alright sir, just remain where you are, I'm sending help."

Man "(continuing)and that's how you get to llama school!"

Soo hilarious. I had to take a picture when I saw this. Thats my all time favorite followed by

"itsa me! Mario!" from ass creed two.

I still don't get it....

What's to get? It's just funny randomness.

 

[Tenkage]

Found this on a computer in Germantown-FO3

911 Dispatcher: "911 what is the nature of your emergency?"

Man: "(Excitedly - the wings on my shoes shrunk and now the moths won't eat my kidneys! When I shake my state capitol it only yields three fairy napkins but how(interrupted)"

911 Dispatcher: "Could you please repeat that sir?"

Man: (continuing) my banana slippers are like water boats because the moon winks sometimes it burns my hamster punches (interrupted)"

911 Dispatcher: "Alright sir, just remain where you are, I'm sending help."

Man "(continuing)and that's how you get to llama school!"

Soo hilarious. I had to take a picture when I saw this. Thats my all time favorite followed by

"itsa me! Mario!" from ass creed two.

I still don't get it....

What's to get? It's just funny randomness.

well in the context of the game its a bit out of place. the game itself is serious and then....well this. Oh and speaking of out of place, Pyscho Mantis from Metal Gear Solid

 

[EatPieYes]

 

[Nickisimo]

I vote for spoony bard.

 

[Maheemo]

I found it very funny in Mortal Kombat: Shaolin Monks when you met Baraka and he stabbed a monk in the stomache, then in the head, and then put him in a fire. After that thre the monk like 70 meters away and Liu Kang ask "Are you alright?" like all serious and stuff. Made me lol