What are the weirdest/Funniest lines you heard in video games?

[TheSteeleStrap]

"I'm so happy I could rip your intestines out and strangle you with them!" - Oblivion, Shivering Isles
"If the weighted companion cube starts talking to you, please disregard its advice" - Portal
And of course THE CAKE IS A LIE

 

[LornMind]

"Sometimes you just have to laugh Yuna."
-cue worst/best/worst laughing scene in all of gaming-

Christ, I can't believe I didn't kill myself while watching that.

 

[Jetut]

Wow no one played Zelda 2. the line is I AM ERROR. WOW not one mention.

 

[Tenkage]

"I'm so happy I could rip your intestines out and strangle you with them!" - Oblivion, Shivering Isles
"If the weighted companion cube starts talking to you, please disregard its advice" - Portal
And of course THE CAKE IS A LIE

Oh right...Sheogorath was always Chaotic Neutral

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

"They're sinking cities with a giant worm!" Gears of War 2. I heard this out of context when my friend was playing the game.

Even in context that line is pretty goofy.

Yeah, I love this quote. It's so...improbable. Another one of my favorites from GOW2 is Baird's,

"Ok, I think we should be in the sternum. Or the....giant worm...[small]equivalent of a sternum....yeah....[/small]

I just can't figure out what happened there. It's so wierdly awkward. It's like the voice actor realized how bad the line was, and figured he couldn't possibly say it seriously.

 

[Enigmers]

Final Fantasy 4's "You Spoony Bard!" sticks out in my mind.

Oh, and Youngster Joey, going on and on about his Rattata, when it evolved into a Raticate long ago.

 

[Imbechile]

You fight like a cow

Monkey island

 

[Imbechile]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHy5OvJJN1A

HK-47 is awesome

 

[Colonel Alzheimer's]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHy5OvJJN1A

HK-47 is awesome

That threw me for a loop when I was like 12 and I heard that for the first time.
OT: Error, in Zelda II: I AM ERROR.

 

[FollowUp]

"Are you just going to stand there like a lemon?" from Fable

I can see no way in which this simile makes sense, how could a lemon even stand? and if it could how could you stand like one?

That's a fairly common simile (at least where I live). The whole point is that it makes no sense. I think.

Mine has to be in the FO3 Wanderer's Edition mod. If the Talon company aren't hostile they say 'bye' in the creepiest way possible. They pause slightly between syllables (yes I know 'bye' only has one, but no-one told them that) and the pitch is just weird.
"Buhye"

The worst thing is this constitutes the entire conversation. You talk to them and straight away you only get the option of leaving; "buhye" is their reply.

Doing anything like a lemon is funny enough.

 

[WestMountain]

On Postal 2 if you press F5(quicksave) too often Postal Dude will say like "My grandma could complete the game if she saved as much as you"

....And fuck you anyway!

 

[thepj]

"Vould you like a second opinion! You are also ugly!!"

cookie for those who get where that's from.

 

[Squigle Sheep]

'fuck you i have a gun'
spocken as i line up the sight of my rocket launching crossbow in farcry 2

 

[No-Superman10]

"Vould you like a second opinion! You are also ugly!!"

cookie for those who get where that's from.

Oops! Zat vahs not medicene!

 

[Jimson]

"Don't Shoot, Don't shoot."
Spoken by some programmer type guy during Perfect dark.

The only thing that made it even better, was the way he pronounced it, with a fake southern accent, and putting an accent on every syllable so it came out like this

Daont Ssshoot Daont Ssshoot.

And the fact that it really didn't sound like he cared if you shot him, only like he was reciting a line.

 

[wickermole]

of

 

[Zap Rowsdower]

"Flipyap and I went to NIPPLE ACADEMY together!"

 

[Elurindel]

Got one that beats all of these:

"When I was five, my uncle was decapitated by a watermelon."

Props to anybody who gets it.