What do you do when a telemarketer calls?

[Crazy Zaul]

Pretend I run a company selling a competing product. oh you want to sell me lawn chair? My lawn chairs better that yours and $7 cheaper.

Or just play Benny Hill music down the phone.

 

[Bobbity]

On a similar note, my friend's brother once opened the door to some Jehovah's witnesses and before they could say anything said politely "Sorry. I'm a baby-eating satanist." and closed the door.

Haha, my grandfather tried that once. He at hour house, and we had some of those fellows come to our door, but unfortunately he couldn't chat because virgins don't sacrifice themselves, you know. Totally deadpan expression while he said it - fucking classic.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

I do what ALL of you do, I say "Sorry, we're not interested, good luck on your next call" and then I hang up.

And you're all liars.

 

[Mr.Numbers]

I pretend to be a hardcore gay sex-line...

...At 75 dollars an hour.

That always works.

 

[MikailCaboose]

I say nothing, because all we get here are a computer generated message...

 

[CM156_v1legacy]

First of all people, I feel obliged to remind you that they're human too, and that they're just trying to make a living.

I'm not for being rude to telemarketers. Yeah, messing with them and joking around is fun, but just don't be outright mean. They don't WANT to interrupt your life, they HAVE to do it so they can buy food to live. Besides, you're probably the third person in a row that's chewed them out for calling at dinnertime, so try to keep that in mind.

A bit off topic, but I never really liked the defense "Just doing my job" or "Just following orders". You got a job where you agree to call people up to solicit sales and often times, interject when they tell you they've no interested. So you deserve any vocal abuse you get for your job if you press the topic (IE they say no and you continue it). They are the telephone equivalent of spam mail.

OT:I ask them to wait a moment and put down the phone. Then wait to see how long they stay on the line.

 

[MrMrAwesom]

I wana do all this stuff now
unfortunatly all the ones that call us are robots & they aren't even for us...
WHO THE FUCK IS JAR-re-er-RED HAMB-B-B-B-B-B-B-BLEM!?

 

[NellNell]

I don't even think my family has a house phone.

We just use cell phones and they never call those.

 

[martin's a madman]

I try to sell them something.

 

[Belaam]

I've said, "Pardon me, my wife and I are in the midst of sex, but we're exhibitionists. Would you mind listening?"

Generally, I go with the "Can you hold on a minute?" and leave the phone alone for a while.

I spent a miserable couple of months working as a telemarketer and those were always my favorites as I could give myself a little break on the clock.

The idea is to cut into the profit margins of the company paying people to call you. With enough effort, it can drive them under.

Same reason I always take as many free Jehovah's Witness / LDS publications as they will give me and recycle them unread. They're already being subsidized by me indirectly by not paying taxes, the least I can do is try to cut into their bottom line.

 

[Dango]

I feel kinda bad for them, so I talk with them until they ask me if I'm over 18, and since I'm not, they have to end the call.

 

[benylor]

I've said, "Pardon me, my wife and I are in the midst of sex, but we're exhibitionists. Would you mind listening?"

Generally, I go with the "Can you hold on a minute?" and leave the phone alone for a while.

I spent a miserable couple of months working as a telemarketer and those were always my favorites as I could give myself a little break on the clock.

The idea is to cut into the profit margins of the company paying people to call you. With enough effort, it can drive them under.

Same reason I always take as many free Jehovah's Witness / LDS publications as they will give me and recycle them unread. They're already being subsidized by me indirectly by not paying taxes, the least I can do is try to cut into their bottom line.

What this guy says. A telemarketing employee is doing a job where they get degraded and dehumanised every call doing something that probably pisses them off a lot when it's done to them. You wouldn't take a job like that unless you had no other option - trying to traumatise the employee is, although cathartic, immensely cruel and pointless.

It's the company's fault for choosing to market via the telephone. Give the employee a break and eat up the company's time and phone bills by asking the telemarketer to wait.

-

Unfortunately, I just get robots.

 

[Logan55689]

Marketer: Could I perhaps interest you in-
Me:Oh my god he has a gun!
*Slamming door incredibly hard repeatedly*

Then I drop the phone without hanging up.

 

[Issurru]

I usually just say no if I mistakenly pick up the phone, usually I just ignore it (mute the call) or answer and let them talk whilst I put the phone somewhere near me then hang up a minute or two later.

Although one time my buddy answered and when he realized what he had done he then pretended that I had just died in a car accident and invited them to my funeral

 

[thefrizzlefry]

I attempt to order a pizza from them. I've yet to succeed.

 

[shadyh8er]

Considering my fucking phone rings every two minutes because my aunt from Canada or my grandma wants to talk, I just pick it up, say "Hello," and if it's not someone I recognize I hang up without another word.

 

[evilneko]

I wish I had Caller ID so I could file a complaint. Other than that I just delete the message from my answering machine, assuming they bother leaving one.

 

[Darkpumpkin 21]

One called me during class once, i told them i was bored and asked if they wanted to just talk...of course they couldnt thou

 

[Dr. wonderful]

I go and put on my best Dante expression, it also Help I have my Half-life 2 headcrabs REVERSE

"Hello, are you satisfied with your current phone company?"
"Sorry, not open for buiss-what in the blue name are you!?"
"ARRRGH....DEAR GOD HELP ME!"
"Excuse me sir? Are you okay?"
"Nope, I call you back."
*Click.*

Oddly, that didn't work the last time...The guy was a fucking Half-life fan.

 

[-Samurai-]

I just hang up. They call my work all the time. *****, I'm at work. I don't have time to hear about how 100% of my funeral costs can be covered.