What do you really know about Australia?

[joshuaayt]

Here's some stuff any would-be visitors should know-

*In the various suburbs around the city, racism and homophobia are basically the status quo- in fact, I believe it could be mapped on a chart, the proximity to Major City vs dickishness of local populace.

*On that note, try not to stay in the suburbs, and don't try staying in a place remote enough to receive no signals- you will be mobbed by insects and you will cry. Again, can be mapped on proximity to city.

*It's apparently Australia day today. I did not know that.

*We aren't all painfully idiotic- though most of the smart ones are willing enough to play the fool, so we can make fun of ignorant tourists. I am OK with this.

Finally:

*Don't come here- New Zealand is prettier, with a friendlier population, and it has Wellington. You know what Wellington has? Cuba Mall.

 

[Ken Sapp]

Australia has Ayers Rock, Aborigines, Didgeridoos(sp?), Boomerangs are a hunting tool and not designed to return, and most of the marsupials of the world live there.

 

[I'mANinja]

All the wildlife and plants are out to get you. So, it's basically like a Death World. Even kangaroos can kill you!

 

[MelziGurl]

Didn't they combine New Zealand and Australia together or something? Can't remember were I heard that.

I believe you are thinking about the ANZACS (Australian and New Zealand Army Corps)

 

[Tower 87]

Here's some stuff any would-be visitors should know-

*In the various suburbs around the city, racism and homophobia are basically the status quo- in fact, I believe it could be mapped on a chart, the proximity to Major City vs dickishness of local populace.

*On that note, try not to stay in the suburbs, and don't try staying in a place remote enough to receive no signals- you will be mobbed by insects and you will cry. Again, can be mapped on proximity to city.

*It's apparently Australia day today. I did not know that.

*We aren't all painfully idiotic- though most of the smart ones are willing enough to play the fool, so we can make fun of ignorant tourists. I am OK with this.

Finally:

*Don't come here- New Zealand is prettier, and it has Wellington. You know what Wellington has? Cuba Mall.

Patriotic much? Homophobia is a new one, really? what about Sydney?

 

[Tomster595]

Two words: Vegemite Sandwich.

In all seriousness though, I obviously know a bit more than that... but I'm too lazy to write stuff out

 

[Cheskaz]

Eight out of ten of the most poisonous spiders in the world live there.

That's all I need to know.

And the sea is inhabited almost exclusively by things designed to kill you; sharks, jellyfish, swimming knives, they're all in there.

Did you just pull a Dylan Moran? I think you did!

Well i live in Australia and it's ok, i guess. Way too hot though.

 

[joshuaayt]

Removed, for JUSTICE. And conservation of space.

Patriotic much? Homophobia is a new one, really? what about Sydney?

Sydney City? It's actually OK. Kinda like a really, really multicultural New York, only smaller and still pretty bad today, for festivities. I hear that our Sydney based Mardi Gras celebrations are pretty rockin'

 

[Tower 87]

Don't flatter yourselves. Australia is more like... Delaware

Really? Have you ever been to Delaware? I hear its actually nice this time of year.

 

[Whitenail]

Eight out of ten of the most poisonous spiders in the world live there.

That's all I need to know.

You might also need to know the nearest location of a padded room with enough rape whistles and printed articles from Cracked to sustain you because you are clearly a misinformed baby...want a nice bottle baby? In all seriousness when it comes to dangerous animals they're mostly out in the bush (and despite countless hikes and camps through bushland I've never seen anything more threatening than the odd blue-tongue or fly, and I've seen more of the harmless buggers in my backyard) and things which Cracked would have you believe (for humour) breed like rabbits and hunt us coast-huggers like funnel-webs and blue-ringed octopuses are fairly uncommon, you're probably only going to get injured severely if you're deaf to the odd shark alarm, blind to the animals minding their own damned business or too slow to ring 000 and get some anti-venom if you do get bitten or stung, hell, the most dangerous creature I've ever had a brush with at the beach is a blue-bottle, just leaves you with a sting that dies down with salt-water.

As an Australian we're a good nation with a bad (undeserved) rep and an uninteresting history. When it comes to games I honestly think we're better as gamers than most of the world, nonono, that's better in the sense that we never ***** as much as you Yanks when we're paying around $100 for a new-release and you guys have the hide to moan when a new AAA title costs you a mere $60, not to mention playing online with an Aussie is a humourous time.

Edit: It sure is nice to see the amount of Australians saying nice things about this pla-oh wait, no...Aussie aussie aussie?

 

[VinnyKings]

A sophisticated society...

Seriously it sucks here. Nuke us.

 

[BanthaFodder]

1. everyone has a healthy moustache (even the women)
2. failure to eat vegamite for every meal is punishable by law
3. boomerangs are used by the police in lieu of guns
4. dingos are a constant threat to infants and toddlers
5. P. Sherman lives at 42 Wallaby Way,Sidney
6. knifey-spooney is a national pastime
7. Foster's is Australian for beer
8. kangaroos are the regional heavyweight champions
9. crocodilesare effing everywhere
10. according to the government, all Australian gamers are serial rapists waiting to happen (and can be set off by the slightest drop of fake virtual blood)
u mad mate?
*trollface*

 

[Roperius]

Australia has a bunch of Dromedary Camels, one hump not two, running around in the desert.

Australians aren't renowned for being gracious losers.

And, yes, Dingos ate someone's baby...

 

[Mr. Eff_v1legacy]

- One of the world's largest countries
- A population of around 26 million, I think?
- Liberal democracy
- High standard of living
- Former British penal colony (In the 1700's, I think)
- Conservative government
- Cool ass animals
- Radha Mitchell
- Natives are called "Aboriginees"

 

[zehydra]

It's an island.

 

[Zuljeet]

I know that it is home to some of the world's most aggressive, dangerous spiders and insects. Ants that have the ability to *jump* (so called bulldog ants), Spiders with fangs seemingly designed specifically for people's toes when they go into shoes... And that doesn't even scratch the surface ;p

 

[lizabeth19]

Oh and rupert murdoch is australian, and apparently hates it.

That's not fair. Rupert Murdoch is antagonistic towards most sentient life in general.

Best. Line. Ever.

 

[BuddyH]

They invented the rotary washing line.

 

[Tower 87]

1. everyone has a healthy moustache (even the women)
2. failure to eat vegamite for every meal is punishable by law
3. boomerangs are used by the police in lieu of guns
4. dingos are a constant threat to infants and toddlers
5. P. Sherman lives at 42 Wallaby Way,Sidney
6. knifey-spooney is a national pastime
7. Foster's is Australian for beer
8. kangaroos are the regional heavyweight champions
9. crocodilesare effing everywhere
10. according to the government, all Australian gamers are serial rapists waiting to happen (and can be set off by the slightest drop of fake virtual blood)
u mad mate?
*trollface*

= Win

But seriously don't let an Australian see the gore in L4D2 it will send him into an uncontrollable frenzy of rape, drug abuse and voting for whoever is the opposition to government at the time!

 

[Mr Pantomime]

I know when I was over there, I was at a touchpool in an aquarium, and they had a Blue-Ringed Octopus in there. You guys are intense.