My once mighty clan has been forced to follow the ways of the turtle and sit in an island while our home is looted by the cheap ninja clan. FML
Bushidoman2
Bushidoman2
Ran into another damn anomaly today, also got attacked by god damn dogs...FMLMisho- said:Basically that's it lol (For those unfamiliar its FMylife: Your Everyday Life Stories.)
What do you think the characters in video games would write if they could use FML:
I'll go first.
"Today, after jumping over lava pits, stomping on undead monstrosities and mutant muderous reptiles, I finally got to the end room ready to rescue the princess... Only to find out she's in another castle. FML"
RedPlumber Mushroom Kingdom
Indeed, especially with how blunt Shepard is. Her pickup lines are the kind of thing that would usually have you smiling awkwardly and leaving as fast as possible.Veret said:Man, Shepard andAngleFaceGarrus are about the unluckiest pair in the world, huh? It's a wonder they ever managed to get it on. Good call on Joker by the way; that guy would spend half his time on FML if he could.
Anyway:
Today was my first day on the force. Most rookies would spend a few weeks writing traffic tickets, but me? I get called to arrest a notorious gang leader who owns half the town. They're all packing automatic weapons, military-grade explosives, and a goddamn apache. We get tasers and pepper spray. FML.
-StillwaterIsADumbName
________
A while back I watched my squad butchered by mechs. Then I got posted to the ass end of nowhere and watched my new squad get butchered by Geth. Today I was accused of treason, and found out my father got butchered by more Geth. Now I'm stuck monitoring the ship's engines--which would be fine, but the man I've had a crush on for two years thinks that the engine room is a great place to have loud, obnoxious sex with everyone on the ship but me. F my entire Bosh'tet Quarian existence.
-TZvasNowhere
IceStar100 said:What game is this?Kadoodle said:Today I got raped. By a girl. FML.
Michaelbucket2
Ahhh, you're so mean to poor CaLibr8! And it's so hilarious! I am going straight to hell.revolutionaification said:Indeed, especially with how blunt Shepard is. Her pickup lines are the kind of thing that would usually have you smiling awkwardly and leaving as fast as possible.
The end of Tali's FML is sheer brilliance!
Moving on:
Today, the Dungeon Keeper figured out she gets a bonus for slapping us around. She doesn't like slapping her minions so guess who she's turned on. FML.
-Feeling(C)lucky?
__________
Today, I realised even galactic heroes aren't immune from favouritism. How? She took Emily for a drink, but not before punching me in the face. Again.
Uploaded 3 cycles ago via Omni-tool.
__________
Today, we landed on Tuchanka. Who do I choose to take with me? A turian and a salarian. FML.
-ThresherThrasher
__________
Today, after suffering major facial scarring, my friend says to me, and I quote, "Hell, you were always ugly. Just slap some face paint on there, and no one will even notice." I've loved this girl for two years. FML.
-Calibr8
I love him dearly, and that's why it's so damn fun to torture him! I'll see you there, friend.Veret said:Ahhh, you're so mean to poor CaLibr8! And it's so hilarious! I am going straight to hell.
Today, a coworker and I both got big promotions. I earned mine by being a dedicated reporter, working my ass off around the clock, bribing sources with my own money, and dressing like a high-class whore. She got hers by being her usual bitchy self and getting punched on-camera. FML.
-AllTheCouncillorsMen
________
Today I was talking to the ship's doctor about a mission, and he randomly gave me a bunch of literature on human-turian sex positions. HE knows exactly what's going on, but the guy I'm actually trying to seduce can't even figure out I'm into him. FML.
-ThresherThrasher
________
Today, I read that literature the doc gave me. It mentions "chafing" forty-eight times. FML.
-ThresherThrasher
Hahaaa, the tribulations of Mordin had me in stitches! I must return fire:revolutionaification said:Snip
found out that I can skip the whole dying part by having sex with the hottest chick on this entire continent -IMMDSelef said:apparently if I kill the giant evil dragon I die too FML.
Darkspawnslayer95
"Today, after saving the world from certain corruption and destruction and surviving against impossible odds through the use of a pretty obvious loophole, I went to see the mother of my unborn child to see how this was going to work out. The ***** had run away. With my magical embryo. FML."akkuron said:found out that I can skip the whole dying part by having sex with the hottest chick on this entire continent -IMMDSelef said:apparently if I kill the giant evil dragon I die too FML.
Darkspawnslayer95
Darkspawnslayer95