What is the worst way you've woken up?

[Goofguy]

Happened about 3 weeks ago at 2:30 a.m. I was asleep, dreaming that I was in bed (so meta). In my dream, there was suddenly a giant cockroach right next to me. It startled me enough that I woke up, jumped out of bed, hurled my pillow full force and sprinted to the bathroom to fetch some chemicals to burn the cockroach. It was only when I got to the bathroom that I actually "came to" and realized what I was doing, all hopped up on adrenaline with my heart pounding. I couldn't get back to sleep for two hours.

 

[Call me Baz]

Probably getting to sleep at 3am, then being woken at 6am due to my dad having a hypoglycaemic episode and my mum being inept and panic-y at these kinds of things.

Oh Diabeetus, you soo crayy-zeee.

¬_¬

 

[neverarine]

two words

Kidney Stones

 

[Alcamonic]

My cat jumped up on my face, probably trying to catch a bug.

 

[RustlessPotato]

Woke up with my mattress and myself, well my whole bed, covered in blood. It was so severe the blood was dripping on the floor through the mattress. I wasn't feeling that well when I woke up and had to go to the doctors.

Also, I had broken up with a girl. And a week later we woke up in the same bed. I was a big moron and should've known better, she was very bad for me.

 

[Basement Cat]

Hung over. Nauseated. And sharing the bed with a VERY ugly girl who's name I didn't even remember. BRRRRR!!!

 

[Shoggoth2588]

This happens semi-regularly (maybe once or thrice a year?) where I'll wake up due to intense cramping in my calve (generally the left one). Apparently this wouldn't happen if I ate bananas but bananas are disgusting so I guess I get to wake up to intense pain and, what I'm told is a grotesque looking bit of leg-musculature.

 

[Quijiboh]

Once woke up with a spider sitting directly over my right eyeball.

Also, when I was a kid my mum would wake me up by pouring cold water on me if I slept in too long.

 

[Samus Aran but a man]

In Mass, having fallen asleep during the sermon. I suppose I was so lost in God I lost focus... or some shit like that. I was really tired.

 

[Kohyru]

Waking up but not being able to move or open my eyes for what feels like an eternity but is only a few minutes in reality. It happens semi-regularly, not a pleasant experience at any time. It's freaky trying to move your body and it not moving at all.

 

[Quijiboh]

This happens semi-regularly (maybe once or thrice a year?) where I'll wake up due to intense cramping in my calve (generally the left one). Apparently this wouldn't happen if I ate bananas but bananas are disgusting so I guess I get to wake up to intense pain and, what I'm told is a grotesque looking bit of leg-musculature.

You're probably low on potassium. If not bananas - kidney beans, spinach and lentils are all good for it.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

This happens semi-regularly (maybe once or thrice a year?) where I'll wake up due to intense cramping in my calve (generally the left one). Apparently this wouldn't happen if I ate bananas but bananas are disgusting so I guess I get to wake up to intense pain and, what I'm told is a grotesque looking bit of leg-musculature.

You're probably low on potassium. If not bananas - kidney beans, spinach and lentils are all good for it.

Low Potassium it is but I didn't know kidney beans and spinach would help. I like both of those things! Thank you for the advice.

 

[Phasmal]

TODAY.
Boyfriend comes rushing in, waking me up, saying `Oh shit the front door is wide open, I forgot to lock it!`.
I could have fucking stabbed him.
Nothing's missing and it looks like it was just blown open but I'm still pretty mad about it.

 

[Fijiman]

Probably the worst I can think of is waking up because I'm about to have a nosebleed or because of the adrenalin spike you get when you start falling forward after stepping onto nothing.

EDIT: Just remembered that back in the 2nd grade I got pink eye and woke up one day with my eyes almost completely sealed shut with that crust crap. Another time when I was younger and slept in the top bunk I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and nearly killed myself because I had forgotten that we had taken the ladder off to fix it or something. Thank god for quick reflexes on that one.

 

[Ninonybox_v1legacy]

Being yelled at for sleeping, worst thing ever.

 

[Pinkamena]

My bed is pretty low, and the window above it is rather high. It's about 1-1.5 meters from bed to window. Anyhow, I was sleeping, and the my cat jumps from the window, and lands right on my balls. I was so pissed at it after that.

 

[Mr_Universal]

I once woke up, having a Rat hanging from my lip ( he was chewing on it) and one hanging from one of my fingers (same thing there, he was chewing on it). My brother hadn´t closed the cage where we had our pet rats, and they had climbed up in my bed, and I most likely rolled over them and scared them.

Did i mention there was blood everywhere? yeah, that was scary.

Still like rats though, cute little buggers.

 

[Major_Tom]

You don't want to be woken up by this. Especially if you're just a kid.

 

[Fappy]

One time while sick with a cold or something I woke up suffocating. My nose was stuffed and I had mucus built up in my throat. That was horrifying for a few seconds before I managed to cough the stuff up.

On a more hilarious note, one time my cat wanted to get out of my room in the early morning. To wake me up he climbed onto my bookshelf next to my bed and knocked a full glass of water off of the top shelf. The glass barely missed my head as a torrent of water hit me directly in the face. I flew out of bed in a blind rage, picked the fucker up by the scruff and tossed him down the hallway. He never did it again.

 

[Olas]

Whenever I'd wake up in agony from my kidney condition. It's kinda a long story.

When I was a little kid I used to have an [a href="http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000498.htm"]illness[/a] that caused my kidney to retain too much fluid and swell up easily. If I went too long without using the loo, like when you sleep, I'd wake up in the middle of the night with sever excruciating pains in my left side that would last for hours. It was the most painful thing I've ever felt. Luckily, after convincing my parents that it wasn't "just a stomach ache" I got it diagnosed and had surgery to fix it. Had I not had the surgery my kidney would eventually have exploded from the pressure it was under. Not deadly but it would've sucked.
After the surgery the pain went away. There was a (relatively small) downside to it though. My bladder wasn't used to having so much fluid pumped into it regularly so I wet the bed almost every night till I was 13. It was embarrassing as hell but still beat the crap out of having a kidney that felt like it was ready to explode.

So ya, fun times.