What is the worst way you've woken up?

[Carnagath]

Pistol shots (blank) at 3 in the morning, water, shouting, all kinds of horrible things. Mandatory military service. It's not very pleasant. Although, to be fair, I did wake up to heavy artillery fire one morning, while camped in the forest during a nation-wide field exercise (they weren't trying to kill us or anything, they were practice-firing at a designated area, a couple of miles away from us). That was actually pretty fucking awesome.

 

[Mangod]

Worst way I've woken up...

I remember one time, when my bloodsugar dropped too low (I'm diabetic), so I get up to have something to eat in the kitchen downstairs. I make it halfway across my own room when I feel my left knee give out, and I manage to get out a single cry for mom before everything goes black.

Next thing I know, I'm laying on my back, with a glass of jam/milk being poured down my throat, with my mom, dad, and two paramedics I've never seen before hovering over me like a bunch of unholy spirits, and my body aching all over, 'cept for the back of my head, which has gone completely numb since I landed on it when I took a dive into the carpet.

"Fun, fun, fun!" as Yatzhee would have put it.

 

[WolfUnit19]

I woke up on the toilet once. Kinda weird

 

[Reaper195]

I was woken up for my fifteenth birthday by my brother punching me in the balls. Years later, I still don't have kids...

 

[viranimus]

Hrm... hard call. I would say its a toss up between the time I passed out drunk and friends slipped me red gel cap Acid, or..

Overview

Further elaboration

Not sure what is worse, waking up with a jolt into what seems not quite dream nor reality and not being able to determine which is which, or being only about 10 inches from waking up dead.

 

[palladium]

Headbutted a chest of drawers in my sleep. Twice.

 

[Aris Khandr]

During my period of homelessness, I spent a couple of weeks crashing in a friend's shed. One night, I woke up because a frog found its way in and jumped on me. Landed right on my face. That is not the way to wake up.

 

[Lurklen]

I have three, one was the time I woke up and I guess I'd fallen asleep with my head resting on my arm and when I woke up I tried to rub my face and just slapped myself in the face. I'd lost all feeling from the elbow down and couldn't move my fingers. I then spent the next couple minutes trying to move my hand and praying my hand wasn't dead.

The second one was just stupid. My friend and I were like 14 and had spent the previous night at his place drinking and eating pizza, the next day we ate nothing untill we went to my house at around 4pm and when we got there my mom had bought Kentucky Fried Chicken which came with a chocolate cake. So we pretty much ate all of that then we ate junk food till about 1 am when we passed out in a gluttony induced stupor. Cut to 4am and I wake up all at once, my stomach cramping horribly. I fall out of bed grab my trash bin and begin to throw up with such intensity that my nose starts to bleed, this wakes up my buddy who takes one look at me and immediately starts vomiting then he pushes me out of the way and we took turns throwing up into my trash can for about an hour and a half.

The last one I was seven and my sister didn't want to live with her dad anymore so my mom decided we were going to run away to L.A. in the middle of the night. Nobody told me anything, so I wake up being carried out of my house in the dark in my dinosaur pjs and I'm sure I'm being kidnapped. So I just lose it, I start screaming and thrashing shouting help and police at the top of my lungs. I got thrown in the car and saw my sister and I was like "They got you too?"

 

[Dethenger]

I've had the displeasure of being woken up by my sept father telling me the house was on fire. Only to find out it was an April Fool's joke.

I also loath being awakened by muscle cramps. Jesus Christ those things suck.

Mine was like this, only nobody was joking about the fire. Apparently the drier burst into flame. We put it out before anything actually happened, but we all had to sleep upstairs for a while until the smoke cleared. That wasn't fun.

 

[TheKruzdawg]

You know those times when you wake up and automatically know you've slept through your alarm and are most likely dreadfully late to whatever you were supposed to do? Well I slept through half of my college history class and woke up in a panic. The problem was that I had lofted my bed, making it so close to the ceiling that I was unable to sit up without hitting my head.

So I slammed my head against the ceiling when I woke up and managed to give myself a small cut on my forehead. I decided to skip class that day.

 

[Chairman Miaow]

Woke up in the middle of the night to find a guy about to rob me. Luckily he was a coward and ran away terrified. Things could have gotten reeeeal hairy.
EDIT: I'm also a real big sleep everythinger. Woken up to yelling from people trying to get me to stop attacking somebody, in an overflowing bath but worst of all, waking up to find I had eaten loads of chocolate. All the calories, none of the taste.

 

[ReadyAmyFire]

My gay friend and his boyfriend doing it on my couch while I was tripping balls in my chair and passed out. (We took some... stuff).

The bastards, couldn't they wait until they were home or something? It scared the crap out of me.

*mental image of Rimmer as he is in your avatar watching Lister and the Cat bumming on a sofa* Gah!


I woke up once feeling as though my face was on fire and all I could see was blue. Scariest 5 seconds until I realised I had slept on my back outside during a July heatwave.

I was also woken up by gunfire once, someone was trying to steal my fathers car and he didn't approve.

 

[x EvilErmine x]

I once got woken up by an earth quake, that was a pretty harrowing experience.

I woke up to the sound of this huge banging noise, it sounded like explosions going off underground. Then i became aware of the shaking. Everything was shaking my room, the house, the world...it was at this point my sleepy terrified mind decided that the house might not be the safest place to be in this crazy shaky new world, and that it would rather take it's chances under the sky.
I ran down the stairs and out into the back garden and hid by the tree.

The whole thing lasted about 15 seconds in total which later made me realise that absolute bloody terror is a truly potent performance enhancer.

 

[Blackmagic1515]

My Dad playing Crazy Frog LOUDLY at 7am on a Saturday. My room is right next to his computer. Never wanted to hit my dad before but that came close.

Or could be when I woke and couldn't move without intense pain. Had torn the muscle in my neck and physically couldn't get up without help. Wasn't the first time I'd done it too so luckily I didn't panic, just yelled for Mum. Still not a great feeling to wake up too.

 

[iLazy]

I woke up one morning and couldn't open my eyes. Thought I gone blind. Turns out some crust thing had come out of my eyes and fused my eyelids together. Had to scream for my mom because we were at a friend's cabin and I didn't know where everything was.

Another time I felt something heavy on my chest. Woke up and the cat was staring right at me. Freaked out.

 

[Sutter Cane]

About half a year ago, with a brown recluse spider crawling down my arm.

 

[The Last Nomad]

In immense pain this morning from one of the worst toothaches I've ever had. Same thing happened about 2 weeks ago.
I've woken up immensely depressed but I've gotten used to that, but this pain actually woke me up at 5 o clock this morning, and couldn't get any more sleep.

EDIT: Or that one time I woke up with a dead arm, its only ever happened to me once but apparantly its pretty common, I didn't know what the fuck was happening and couldn't move it...

 

[gigastrike]

It would either have to be the time I fell out of bed and whacked my head off of the nightstand, or the time I almost smothered myself with my own pillow.

 

[zarix2311]

When I was seven, I was sleeping on the floor of my parents room in a makeshift bed. I woke up at around twelve and found my parental units participating in the act of copulation two feet from me. I really needed to use the bathroom, but couldn't until they were done, which wasn't till two. I had school the next day and was awake until four.