What would you have done in my situation?

[Chogg Van Helsing]

I'd simply say "Nope."

Anymore explanation beyond is more than other people deserve. Nothing makes you beholden to shovel money to a douche. Karma's a ***** or somethingblahblah

ah, karma... remember kids, don't be rude, or you will get a TERMINAL ILLNESS AND DIE BEFORE YOU EVEN LEAVE SCHOOL.

yeah, this kid DESERVES to die in a horrible way, how DARE he act like a DOUCHE IN HIGHSCHOOL. THAT BEHAVIOR IS JUST UNHEARD OF. anyone who acts like a dick in highschool should totally DIE. and you know what pisses me off? babies. always crying, biting people, they're so rude and lazy. I WISH EVERY BABY ON EARTH WOULD JUST FUCK OFF AND DIE OF CANCER. THAT'S WHAT THEY GET FOR ACTNG LIKE DICKS.

*sarcastic rant over
but seriously OP? someone acts like a dick, gets cancer, and your response is "ha, never liked him, let him rot."?
dick move.

he didn't say he wished death on him... Guy has cancer, he said he's not going to the event for him? You make it seem as if the OP is rolling around laughing that this dick could die and wishing it. He is saying he doesn't care either way. Like most people. God, don't overreact

 

[Ghaleon640]

He's a teenager for Christ sakes, of course he's an asshole, almost every teenager is by any objective adult measurement.

Honestly, by saying you won't support his fight against cancer because he's a prick you have far eclipsed him an any way you can measure it. Bear in mind that if you complain that people don't like you then odds on it's because you come across as a total prick, if you've ever sat down and worried about people not liking you or ever pissed a lot of people off at once then you were probably being a prick.

But you'd still expect people to support you right?

I don't know about OP, but personally, I'd never expect people other than medical personell and my family - perhaps my closest friends - to help me get through cancer.

There are a couple of people who are/were complete assholes to me, and honestly, if I got cancer and they then showed up at the hospital to support I would be confused as hell. I would probably even ask them to leave.

It sounded much more like a charity event. In exchange for a donation, you overcharge for food, play some footage of stuff. Get donations from local families and business and auction them off. At least, that was the one I went to.

 

[Jonluw]

He's a teenager for Christ sakes, of course he's an asshole, almost every teenager is by any objective adult measurement.

Honestly, by saying you won't support his fight against cancer because he's a prick you have far eclipsed him an any way you can measure it. Bear in mind that if you complain that people don't like you then odds on it's because you come across as a total prick, if you've ever sat down and worried about people not liking you or ever pissed a lot of people off at once then you were probably being a prick.

But you'd still expect people to support you right?

I don't know about OP, but personally, I'd never expect people other than medical personell and my family - perhaps my closest friends - to help me get through cancer.

There are a couple of people who are/were complete assholes to me, and honestly, if I got cancer and they then showed up at the hospital to support I would be confused as hell. I would probably even ask them to leave.

It sounded much more like a charity event. In exchange for a donation, you overcharge for food, play some footage of stuff. Get donations from local families and business and auction them off. At least, that was the one I went to.

That sounds pretty bad. If I was given the choice between giving them $20 and being done with it, and going to an event like that, I'd give them the $20 in a heartbeat. That might just be because I really don't like crowds and events like that though.

 

[Shirokurou]

A douche in life is a douche in death...

 

[Jonluw]

I don't know about OP, but personally, I'd never expect people other than medical personell and my family - perhaps my closest friends - to help me get through cancer.

There are a couple of people who are/were complete assholes to me, and honestly, if I got cancer and they then showed up at the hospital to support I would be confused as hell. I would probably even ask them to leave.

I didn't mean like 'support' support, no hand holding and stuff.

But I would be quite upset if I had cancer and someone turned around and said they didn't care, as would my friends who dealt with that person.

Yeah, see, I guess that's where we differ. If someone I didn't know told me that they didn't care that I have cancer I'd just be really puzzled. "Why would they bother to tell me they don't care? Did they think I expected them to?"

Edit: I just can't bring myself to care about a stranger who has cancer when there are millions of people dying from horrific diseases all over the world as we speak.
At least they're lucky enough to live in a country where they'll get proper treatment.
I'd much much rather give money to fighting the spread of HIV in Africa than to some single person in a 1st world country with cancer. Particularly if he was an asshole.

Fun fact: That guy I was talking about that I don't like? Literally the first time I ever met him, he punched me in the balls. What the hell, eh?

I mean there's that school crap which tends to be a lot more bilateral than people like to acknowledge, but cancer is serious, you kind of moderate your behaviour when talking to people who's friend might die.

Besides, even if you honestly don't care it's worth chucking a couple of quid their way just to comfort them.

I guess I just don't put much value on comforting people.

 

[Rockchimp69]

Right, so, some background information!

Earlier this school year, someone in my year at school was diagnosed with a pretty rare cancer. So he hasn't been in school since the beginning of the year. Now, I'd like to point out that this guy was always a total prick. I mean, I never had a conversation with him that didn't involve him being an utter asshat towards me for no reason. I'd also like to point out that a lot of other people never used to like him either.

So, there's a charity event on this weekend, and upon being asked if I was going to go, I replied with a very firm no, by which I said "Haha, not a chance."

So, why won't I support my year mate, I was asked, as "HE'S SO BRAVE TO FIGHT THROUGH THIS!"... Apparently.

I won't support him because he's the most arrogant tool I've ever talked to in my life, and apparently everyone else in my year totally forgot this when he got diagnosed. Really? I mean, it's like when Michael Jackson died, I seemed to be the only person I know who actually remembered the fact that he was a bad person (y'know, the whole, holding his child over the railings of a balcony quite high up, and the sleeping with children [I never implied he had sex with them, shut up before you flame me]).

So, yeah, question's simple, what would you have done?

What you should have done is remained completely neutral. If you act at all insensitive then people who did like him might suddenly turn on you. The way I see it, you don't lose anything by just not being involved.

So I guess I would say "no I have to help my parents with something"

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

Same as you, I wouldn't be that rude but I'd get the point across that I hate him.

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

"Haha, not a chance."

I'm so glad you proved that you were less of a prick than him.

 

[Easton Dark]

Well don't laugh about it. Saying you wont go because you don't like him is fine, but cmon, laughing isn't cool. I would be disturbed even If I saw a child watching his parents murderers get cancer laugh, it's just not.... y'know, funny.

Pretty much says you find people slowly dying a joke.

 

[eggmiester]

this thread is going to become really philosophical really quickly, isn't it?

i personally would'a just given a few euro i had on me, and wish him luck. the sod's got cancer, for god's sake! i wouldn't want to wish cancer on anyone, it's a horrible way to die.

as for OP: dude, a bit of tact would of been grand. you can't just laugh about a person dying,y'know? Unless yer man was a truly despicable human being, just say 'no thanks' next time, alrigh? even if he is a prick, just show a bit of respect for a dying man.

 

[Jonluw]

Yeah, see, I guess that's where we differ. If someone I didn't know told me that they didn't care that I have cancer I'd just be really puzzled. "Why would they bother to tell me they don't care? Did they think I expected them to?"

Fun fact: That guy I was talking about that I don't like? Literally the first time I ever met him, he punched me in the balls. What the hell, eh?

I'd not much care about them personally but I think it'd hurt my friends a lot. Imagine if someone you were close to was in danger of death and you were trying to raise a bit of cash to give them a treat or help with medicine, only to have someone laugh at it.

Your prick sounds a bit different but this guy's prick sounds like he was simply not a guy the OP likes.

That one I can understand more. If his friends aren't assholes, I can see how you'd want to ease their battle

I guess I just don't put much value on comforting people.

I didn't think it was worth all that much until I needed it myself, it's one of those things that you really have to learn practically.

Well, I don't know what you've been through, but I feel pretty confident in saying that I know what it feels like to need comfort. I still wouldn't want someone I do not like to comfort me, and much less would I expect it of them.

 

[Grottnikk]

I think you're giving this guy too much room in your head. If you haven't seen him in a year, maybe he's changed. Maybe a brush with death has mellowed him a bit.

Plus, if he IS still a dick, the fact that you're nice enough to go visit him despite all of his douchebaggery will REALLY piss him off >.

 

[Ghaleon640]

He's a teenager for Christ sakes, of course he's an asshole, almost every teenager is by any objective adult measurement.

Honestly, by saying you won't support his fight against cancer because he's a prick you have far eclipsed him an any way you can measure it. Bear in mind that if you complain that people don't like you then odds on it's because you come across as a total prick, if you've ever sat down and worried about people not liking you or ever pissed a lot of people off at once then you were probably being a prick.

But you'd still expect people to support you right?

I don't know about OP, but personally, I'd never expect people other than medical personell and my family - perhaps my closest friends - to help me get through cancer.

There are a couple of people who are/were complete assholes to me, and honestly, if I got cancer and they then showed up at the hospital to support I would be confused as hell. I would probably even ask them to leave.

It sounded much more like a charity event. In exchange for a donation, you overcharge for food, play some footage of stuff. Get donations from local families and business and auction them off. At least, that was the one I went to.

That sounds pretty bad. If I was given the choice between giving them $20 and being done with it, and going to an event like that, I'd give them the $20 in a heartbeat. That might just be because I really don't like crowds and events like that though.

It was of course hosted by the parents of the boy for the event I went to. I'm sure there were people that dropped off money and left, but the farther you go, the more money you get, the easier it can be to pay the bills that are bankrupting you to keep your child alive. A couple of people dropping off 20 bucks isn't a bad thing, but doesn't exactly cut with how much you're going through. And its not like you'd just walk around school with a jar asking for money. An event gives people a reason to go. Just my two cents personally, though I know what you mean about crowds, especially since you probably don't know any of these people. (I didn't.) But there was music and all in all was kind of nice.

 

[Drakane]

Though your answer may have lacked a bit of tact, I agree with it. Also, the fact that this is a school mate and your still in school I will assume your sub 18 and you responded on impulse to what came to your mind. If you were 27 and said it that way, then I would hold a bit more contempt for how you said it but as is, no harm no foul.

 

[ThatDudeWithTheCap]

If it was me, I'd probably just point out that the guy was a complete and utter wanker. And if people still don't believe me/remember, then I'll just let them speak to the people who do.

 

[Jonluw]

He's a teenager for Christ sakes, of course he's an asshole, almost every teenager is by any objective adult measurement.

Honestly, by saying you won't support his fight against cancer because he's a prick you have far eclipsed him an any way you can measure it. Bear in mind that if you complain that people don't like you then odds on it's because you come across as a total prick, if you've ever sat down and worried about people not liking you or ever pissed a lot of people off at once then you were probably being a prick.

But you'd still expect people to support you right?

I don't know about OP, but personally, I'd never expect people other than medical personell and my family - perhaps my closest friends - to help me get through cancer.

There are a couple of people who are/were complete assholes to me, and honestly, if I got cancer and they then showed up at the hospital to support I would be confused as hell. I would probably even ask them to leave.

It sounded much more like a charity event. In exchange for a donation, you overcharge for food, play some footage of stuff. Get donations from local families and business and auction them off. At least, that was the one I went to.

That sounds pretty bad. If I was given the choice between giving them $20 and being done with it, and going to an event like that, I'd give them the $20 in a heartbeat. That might just be because I really don't like crowds and events like that though.

It was of course hosted by the parents of the boy for the event I went to. I'm sure there were people that dropped off money and left, but the farther you go, the more money you get, the easier it can be to pay the bills that are bankrupting you to keep your child alive. A couple of people dropping off 20 bucks isn't a bad thing, but doesn't exactly cut with how much you're going through. And its not like you'd just walk around school with a jar asking for money. An event gives people a reason to go. Just my two cents personally, though I know what you mean about crowds, especially since you probably don't know any of these people. (I didn't.) But there was music and all in all was kind of nice.

Yeah, music and it being "nice" isn't really a selling point for me. This event is the absolute opposite of the way in which I would optimally like to help someone.

 

[Dr Jones]

A douche in life is a douche in death...

The fudge do you mean by that?