What would you have done in my situation?

[Telemachus]

So, you're not going to a charity event for a guy with cancer... because you don't like him?

Well.. Yeah..

there would be no reason to go if you don't know who he is.
and if you don't like him, i see that as the same or even a better reason not to go

 

[Dr Jones]

Well shit OP I hope you got your answer there, next time, be the better man. If the douche was aware of his behavior and see you there, he might chNge his attitude towards you and prove that he's maybe not really such q bad guy, I have tried that before.

 

[DEAD34345]

Same, though I would have been nicer and voiced I didnt like him as a person.

As to if he's brave, well, he kinda is. Cancer sucks to have, and whiel I've never had it, I've had family who did and she was not even five. That was horrible. So yeah, he may not be brave, but it sucks to have cancer, and is definitely something hard to fight against.

EDIT: What you should have done was followed up with why you odnt like them, then said I hope he doesnt die.

Ok, far too many people have said this now, and i don't understand it. Do all you people REALLY think that this would be the best time to outline why you don't like a person? Really? You'd have to explain bad things that the person has done, and essentially tell people that the person is a prick, and you would do this upon being asked about supporting him with his cancer!?

I'm pretty sure that's far, far less tactful than even the OP's sarcastic laughter.

As for the OP: Saying that will make you seem like a douche-bag, with good reason. I don't know you personally, but from reading your posts i think you're far more likely to be someone i wouldn't like, than someone i would. If you don't care that people who hear you say that are going to think you're a prick then go ahead and say it.

Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure you do care or else you wouldn't have made this topic. In that case, try not act like that again, it doesn't do you any favors.

 

[Radoh]

Well, I believe you were utterly tactless and could definitely handled it better but I do agree with the sentiment.

I had a similar, less extreme story. A girl who was downright awful to me was moving away, and someone else thought it was a good idea to get a big card that was signed by everyone in the class for her leaving. I said I would not sign because I legitimately didn't care about her leaving.

In the end they ended up signing my name for me and giving her the card. Infuriated, I got to that card and crossed out my name with a big black marker. Stupid people.

 

[Dimensional Vortex]

I would say "No and why are you talking to me?" considering I am antisocial in real life.
If I was pressed for answers as to why I wouldn't go I would say:
1. "I will be doing homework over the weekend"
2. "I will be chopping fire wood with my grandfather"
3. "Because the guy is a complete waste of mass and I hate him"
4. "I can go, I just don't want to."

 

[emeraldrafael]

Same, though I would have been nicer and voiced I didnt like him as a person.

As to if he's brave, well, he kinda is. Cancer sucks to have, and whiel I've never had it, I've had family who did and she was not even five. That was horrible. So yeah, he may not be brave, but it sucks to have cancer, and is definitely something hard to fight against.

EDIT: What you should have done was followed up with why you odnt like them, then said I hope he doesnt die.

Ok, far too many people have said this now, and i don't understand it. Do all you people REALLY think that this would be the best time to outline why you don't like a person? Really? You'd have to explain bad things that the person has done, and essentially tell people that the person is a prick, and you would do this upon being asked about supporting him with his cancer!?

I'm pretty sure that's far, far less tactful than even the OP's sarcastic laughter.

As for the OP: Saying that will make you seem like a douche-bag, with good reason. I don't know you personally, but from reading your posts i think you're far more likely to be someone i wouldn't like, than someone i would. If you don't care that people who hear you say that are going to think you're a prick then go ahead and say it.

Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure you do care or else you wouldn't have made this topic. In that case, try not act like that again, it doesn't do you any favors.

Yeah. I dont want him to die, but I wont go support him. If I want to support him not having cancer, I'll donate to cancer research, or to the family, but I wont support him. I know it will look bad, but its better then saying, "nah, I'm not going to go". At least when you have a reason, people would be more likely to understand.

And I never said I supported his cancer, or that its good he has it. Just I woundlt go. The kid has cancer. That sucks. The Kid's a bad person (to the OP at least). That also sucks. But I'm not going to feel pity for someone who's never given me a reason to. If he had ever shown me at least ONE TINY human element in him when I interacted with him,t hen my opinions would be different.

 

[Someone Depressing]

I would of replied, "So, dying makes you "Brave?"

This is what happened when MJ died.
Everyone was "Sympaphetic" and "Tearful," in spite the fact he was a Pedo who hung a baby over a building railing.

 

[Verlander]

Depends on if the charity event is for him, or for cancer in general. If it's for cancer, than you're being a bit of a prick, sorry.

If it's for him, then you are probably American, in which case I'd say "legalise social healthcare", and this situation wouldn't arise again.

I'd go, if nothing else because it makes you look better. Who cares if he was a prick, someone dying is still a bummer. Also these sort of events are great for picking up girls. Just saying...

Spoiler: Bonus Points!

Extra 20 points if the chick you pick up is his mother

 

[Jonluw]

Well, I don't know what you've been through, but I feel pretty confident in saying that I know what it feels like to need comfort. I still wouldn't want someone I do not like to comfort me, and much less would I expect it of them.

Nothing much really, I was thinking of when my grandmother died. It's one of those things everyone has to face but I am sincerely happy I had people backing me up.

I can't really relate to what that's like. I assume you had some ties with your grandmother.
The only death in my family that I've experienced was my grandfather a couple of years back, and he had had MS since I was born, so the only memories I have of him are where he's bedbound and unable to speak.
It was sort of disturbing to see my father cry in the funeral though.

That, and my cat died two years ago or so. I'd had her since I was six. It didn't really get to me though. I dug her a nice grave, and her son is still around.

Those are the only deaths I've experienced in the family.

It's one of those tricky things, no one thinks they're an asshole.

Except me
I see myself as a bit of an uncaring dick when I measure myself by normal people's standards.

I'm willing to bet that, despite always relating the stories as a victim, a good percentage of the people that post school problems on here are the assholes that started it.

Now even assuming this guy was an asshole he'd have had to be nearly Biff-like to deserve to have people mocking the idea of helping him when he has cancer.

There we can agree. I would never mock the idea of helping someone with cancer. I'd merely decline. No need to go out of your way to hurt people after all.

I mean, it's all silly school stuff, I doubt this person deserves or needs to die and a few words of non-committal sympathy and a couple of quid would have been the polite thing to do. Even a complete dick deserves sympathy when his life is on the line, this is way beyond anything he could possibly be said to deserve.

See, that's what I don't get about all this. "Oh he might die, poor thing."
Honestly, dying can't be that bad. It seems I just don't have the same problem with death everyone else seems to have. I would never cry over someone dying if it doesn't affect someone who are still alive (I still wouldn't cry, but I might feel sad). If a parent that's still caring for their child dies, that's sad.
If an adult person who is not the caretaker of anyone dies, I don't really see the problem. Yeah, he died. There's nothing sad about it. We're all going there folks.

I feel sort of sorry for his parents though. They might lose someone whom they've spent a lot of time and money on raising, and bonding emotionally with. That's both a waste of resources and a horrible experience for them.

 

[phantasmalWordsmith]

Cancer's a bit of a problem (intentional understatement, don't want to get flamed or something) so ultimately I think I would've gone because if it helps his chances at beating the cancer but if it was confirmed he was terminal I wouldn't have bothered. I wouldn't really have enjoyed the idea of supporting a guy like that but I would have enjoyed supporting someone with a serious health problem.

Ultimately though, I can't blame you. I would have done the same if it were a person I thought was a complete tool (I know a number of them) It's your choice in the end.

 

[TheOneandOnly]

A dying dickhead is still a dickhead.

Alternatively "A dying dickhead is still a dickhead, just not for very long".

 

[Daverson]

I actually admire what you've done. I know I would have tried to weasel my way out of it with some bullshit excuse... =\

Some people seem to forget, that while terrible things happen to good people, terrible things also happen to terrible people, and that's just fine by me! =)

 

[C.S.Strowbridge]

I personally use, "I have a limited amount of give-a-shit, and I'm not going to waste it on this."

I like this one... Mind if I steal it for future use?

Go for it.

 

[Dr Snakeman]

dying doesn't suddenly make someone a nice person, but still, I would at least donate SOMETHING.
an asshole's an asshole, but a human being's still a human being.
I wouldn't jump on the "HE'S SO BRAVE" wagon, but I'd at least feel a little bad for him...
No, cancer doesn't make him a hero, but... well... IT'S CANCER. if the guy's in school, that means he's at most in his mid-upper twenties. that's not even half of the average life expectancy (I'm goin by US numbers here, so around 75-80 something years old I think). Imagine that, your life isn't even half over, and boom, you're told you're going to die. Unless this guy was literally Adolf Hitler, I'd show a little bit of compassion. do you have to praise him? no. do you have to like him if he pulls through? no. would he do the same for you? who knows. but I atleast know that I'd feel good helping someone in need, asshat or not.

This is closest to my reaction. It doesn't matter if he's a jerk, it's still cancer, and being an ass to a guy with cancer makes you just as much of a jerk. You don't have to like him, but you do need to respect him.

 

[Jonabob87]

He's a teenager for Christ sakes, of course he's an asshole, almost every teenager is by any objective adult measurement.

Honestly, by saying you won't support his fight against cancer because he's a prick you have far eclipsed him an any way you can measure it. Bear in mind that if you complain that people don't like you then odds on it's because you come across as a total prick, if you've ever sat down and worried about people not liking you or ever pissed a lot of people off at once then you were probably being a prick.

But you'd still expect people to support you right? I mean that stupid shit you do isn't like cancer, that shit is serious, forget all the stupid school stuff. Can you imagine if someone told you that someone had been told about your illness, about a charity drive and laughed it off?

Protip: If you have to come onto here and ask if something you did was wrong...it was. That's why you want reassurance.

I'm gonna break this down really quick.

1) I'd like to point out that I'm callous, but that's completely different from being an all-round prick, like he is.

2) I don't talk much. I don't worry about what people think of me. Blah, blah. I'm quiet. I didn't deserve shitty treatment, he decided to piss me off anyway. Shrug, callous.

3) [h4]I'd expect him to do the exact same as always, think about himself and only himself. That's what he always did, and he was incapable of viewing it from someone else's perspective.[/h4] I can understand why he might deserve my assistance, but honestly? Fuck him. I don't give a flying shit about him, and he wouldn't give a flying shit about me. I'm not gonna jump on the bandwagon and pretend he was a great guy.

As for your "protip". I didn't want reassurance. I was just wondering how other people viewed the situation

Someone else has probably already pointed this out, but I've put your hypocrisy in bold and separated it.

'Generic Gamer' got a hole in one.

 

[MisterGobbles]

Right, so, some background information!

Earlier this school year, someone in my year at school was diagnosed with a pretty rare cancer. So he hasn't been in school since the beginning of the year. Now, I'd like to point out that this guy was always a total prick. I mean, I never had a conversation with him that didn't involve him being an utter asshat towards me for no reason. I'd also like to point out that a lot of other people never used to like him either.

So, there's a charity event on this weekend, and upon being asked if I was going to go, I replied with a very firm no, by which I said "Haha, not a chance."

So, why won't I support my year mate, I was asked, as "HE'S SO BRAVE TO FIGHT THROUGH THIS!"... Apparently.

I won't support him because he's the most arrogant tool I've ever talked to in my life, and apparently everyone else in my year totally forgot this when he got diagnosed. Really? I mean, it's like when Michael Jackson died, I seemed to be the only person I know who actually remembered the fact that he was a bad person (y'know, the whole, holding his child over the railings of a balcony quite high up, and the sleeping with children [I never implied he had sex with them, shut up before you flame me]).

So, yeah, question's simple, what would you have done?

Right then.

Speaking as a teenager who currently has a rare(ish) cancer, I will say that having cancer doesn't give you any sort of excuse for being an asshole. I don't know why people suddenly forget that people who have cancer are not gods or saints or anything.

At the same time, cancer is not a fun thing to have (understatement of the year), and absolutely no one deserves to have it.

In your case, no, I would not have attended the charity event. I don't support people I have absolutely no respect for. But I wouldn't exactly go around saying "WELL FUCK HIM HE'S AN ASSHOLE" either.

Also, if he wants people to support him, he should have made more friends instead of being an asshole to everyone. Just because you get sick doesn't mean everyone automatically has to like you.

 

[XHolySmokesX]

Good man, i wouldn't have gone to it if he was a total prick.

I kinda hate how scared people are of death sometimes, yeah it sucks to die but its natural and it happenes to everyone at some point so whats there to be scared of. Obviously noone wants to die but that doesn't mean you have to be scared of it, you know what i mean!

 

[Dreiko_v1legacy]

Screw him, who knows, maybe cancer actually ends up prolonging his life cause by the sound of it he'd be the type to get into a drunk car accident and kill a few people as well as himself.