interspark said:
only without the little round safety thing and only one, slightly balding, woodpecker
Without the little round safety thing? But that makes it lethal! I think you may well win this thread!
OT: Boring answer - scissors
Similarly boring answer - my bow. Provided my would-be attacker gives me 2 minutes to set it up first.
More interesting - a plastic spork, a guitar hero controller, and a pokewalker. Although that last one only works if it somehow lets me actually use the pokemon within it.
Borderline psychotic answer - anti-depressants. I suppose, assuming I could overwhelm an attacker, I could forcibly overdose them on the things. Although it would take a while for any effects to occur.