Dijkstra said:
Abomination said:
Dijkstra said:
Abomination said:
What she is essentially doing is forcing his personal life into his commercial life against his wishes. The situation surrounding why the individual was driven to cheat is completely ignored because "he's an ass".
And why do his wishes matter there?
And that is the mindset I can not abide here.
You mean questioning things you assume? That is all that is present. Give a justification for why it should matter, don't just huff and be all "I can't stand you asking me to justify my assumptions!"
No, the mindset that someone is entitled to try and ruin someone else's life because their relationship failed.
His relationship is over yet there seems to be some idea that the one who was cheated on is entitled to also attempt to ruin his professional career?
No, I am asking why his wishes should matter. Is your position so indefensible you cannot answer a simple question like that? As far as I am concerned they are as entitled to do that as I am to go drink some water. They are entitled insofar as no one has provided a reason they should not be allowed to do that. You know, as opposed to you just being outraged as if that somehow made his wishes relevant.
"Please don't ruin my professional life because our relationship failed" is a pretty reasonable request. We seem to be talking past each other here. Legally she is able to do almost whatever she likes but it doesn't mean it is a reasonable or rational response.
I understand there's likely an emotional hurt going on but how are the two situations related?
How is this question or any of this related to answering the question I asked? You seem to be trying very hard to avoid any kind of analysis of what you say.
It's because I see no connection between how his professional life affects her personal life after their breakup. If there is no connection how is it constructive to try and jeopardize his professional career?
If he doesn't share a workspace with her how is spreading such information helping anyone?
Why does it need to help anyone? You make very odd assumptions. And I'd bet $100 you won't bother to justify them in the next post, just act all pointlessly outraged again. For no good reason.
It is not me who needs to justify destructive behavior. I figured that needed to be done by the person who was actively doing something destructive. You're asking me to justify him NOT having his career ruined? Like I said, that mindset is something is something I can't abide. You don't have to justify why something SHOULDN'T be destroyed, you have to justify why something SHOULD be destroyed. "Because he cheated" is not justification.
He has no right to such a separation.
Legally, you are right, of course. One would hope people consider how the two situations are entirely unrelated.
They are not unrelated in that he is in both of them. I see no issue with revenge. He wrongs someone, they find a perfectly legal and acceptable method to make sure he does not go unscathed. They can hardly seek retribution in the same manner that he wronged them.
So she does something completely destructive? Nobody benefits in this scenario - she looks like a raging ***** and he loses esteem with his coworkers.
Desire for sex is not the only reason why people cheat. Relationships are far more complex than someone wanting to get off with a different person, there are usually far more underlying issues than just that. It might not be abuse, but it can be neglect.
The solution to 'neglect' is 'breaking up'. Not hard.[/quote]Relationships are far more complex than that, sometimes there is a situation of financial interdependence, children can be involved or any other number of stumbling blocks. Emotional neglect is a terribly complicated thing, the reasons for it can vary to such a degree that dealing with it while keeping the relationship intact can be impossible in some situations.
If someone reacts in such a manner about a situation completely unrelated because they were hurt emotionally then it's generally perceived the individual does such things on other occasions to similar slights. It actually makes perfect sense to judge someone as irrational when your only experience with them is watching them behave irrationally.
It is not completely unrelated because the cheater is involved. The relation is that the cheater is there. Nothing irrational about it, only your obvious bias in trying to pretend the situations have nothing in common. The obvious goal is "X hurt me, I'll do something to them they also will be upset with". Not irrational in the least.
That is an emotionally fueled response. The rational response is "how can I get recompense for this loss?". The irrational response is to do something that hurts all parties, even a third party that had nothing to do with the relationship in the first place. How is harming his professional career constructive to anyone?
