What's wrong with cheating?

Dogstile

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Jan 17, 2009
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Abomination said:
snipping the crap out of this
If you're in a relationship, usually it means you've placed your trust in the other person not to cheat. Therefore i'm assuming its the usual relationship the OP is talking about. Even in cases where you don't have a lot of romantic love for eachother, its usually not ok to cheat unless you've talked about it first, in which case it stops being cheating.

Say dating, your example doesn't work because it isn't cheating, you have no obligation to the first girl. Once you're in a relationship (which is what everyone will be talking about, not dating, which is different in so many ways it deserves its own topic) you have an obligation.
 

ItsNotRudy

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Mar 11, 2013
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Caiphus said:
but that's about it, so the peer pressure isn't overwhelming.
Perhaps it should be, considering the person cheating is a pathological liar, manipulator and slut. Other than the relationship they obviously didn't value enough ending or not, there are very little consequences for someone committing what I deem one of the most disgusting acts a person can undertake.

The people affected by it will be insecure and vulnerable for quite a while. When it happened to me I was angry a lot and the mention or appearance of the other guy will still bring up resentful emotions. All sorts of thoughts go through your head, where you have gone wrong or what you should have done, while in a lot of cases the victimized party hasn't transgressed at all. It's a sick, crippling ailment that you bestow upon your supposed loved one.


I would scold my friends if they did such things and probably question their every move for quite some time.

lol, the captcha said 'broken heart'. Sounds about right.
 

CabooseVD

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Nov 22, 2010
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People should have more self control and self respect. If you cheat on someone, then you've just proven to everyone that you are immature asshole. Don't cheat, just because that just what decent people do. On the flip side, if you get cheated on, have the ball to stand for yourself.
 

The White Hunter

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Oct 19, 2011
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Darken12 said:
It's about empathy, really. There have been studies where people were asked to rate how excusable it would be if they cheated on their partner, and then how excusable it would be if their partner cheated on them. Most people were quick to excuse themselves and to declare certain activities (kissing, some sexual acts, emotional cheating) as "not really counting", while simultaneously being very unforgiving of others cheating on them.

If you can empathise with your partner, you know what's so bad about cheating.

Now, open relationships are completely different and are in no way related to cheating.
The trick is to learn through experience, if you know how much it sucks to think you're special to that person and then find out you're one in 2 or more then you're far less likely to try and excuse yourself from it.

Having open relationships is perfectly acceptable so long as everybody knows and agrees that it's fine, sneaking around behind your partners back about the whole thing is not however, because as somebody said it betrays their trust and trust is a very important thing for relationships.

Interestingly the whole monogamy thing is part of why I'm terrible at getting boyfriends.

Edit: In short, don't maintain or start relationships if you plan on sleeping around, keep things casual, you'll cause less people less misery. The horrible feelings of betrayal and inadequacy really do have deeper effects than people like to realise.

Edit edit: Oh, and don't cheat on crazy. So someone like me? Yeah don't do that, it's how you end up with a beehive under the floorboards or something. Or a skunk in your wardrobe. Or pictures of you on the internet.
 

Ledan

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Apr 15, 2009
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In games is see no problems with cheating in singleplayer games as that is your own enjoyment....
oh! We're talking about relationships? Well, unless you've talked it over with your significant other (in which case it wouldn't be cheating) you are lying to them, being dishonest, and breaking their trust. Since intimate relationships are based around trust people find it despicable.
 

MeChaNiZ3D

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Aug 30, 2011
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There's nothing wrong with it if your partner thinks there's nothing wrong with it. If they think it's the worst betrayal that could ever happen to a person, then it doesn't matter if it's cutting a tomato in quarters, the meaning behind the action isn't what you assign to it, it's what it means to them.
 

Azwrath

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Feb 23, 2012
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If you can cheat on someone that means you were in an intimate relationship with them.


Because it is intimate then it implies a very high degree of trust between the 2 persons, since we do live in a monogamous society.

The reasons why we enter these monogamous relationships is because we feel the need to belong and be cared for. It is implied that you care for the other person while the other person cares for you. We show these feelings through physical and emotional intimacy. Again... trust and alot of it.

Cheating means the other person does not know about it. You knowingly break that trust proving that the only reason the other person was in a relationship with you does not exist, they do not belong and they are not cared for, even tho they thought otherwise. So their own feeling of caring towrds you turn in hate and self-loathing.

Why is cheating wrong? Because there is no scenario in which cheating can do anything good. It can only cause pain and suffering.

Why do affairs get such an overwhelming negative response? Because an affair implies long term cheating in a long term relationship. You knowingly hurt someone you are supposed to care for. What kind of responses should it get?
 

Yopaz

Sarcastic overlord
Jun 3, 2009
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There's nothing wrong with cheating. Cheating has never hurt anyone.

Except for people getting STDs from their partner who got it from someone else of course.
 

Angie7F

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Nov 11, 2011
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I think it is jealousy.
This is shy I think if you are going to cheat, you have to be very good at it.
As long as you can go with out being discovered that its ok.
If you are not smart enough to keep it a secret. dont attempt it.
 

Mr_Spanky

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Jun 1, 2012
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Yopaz said:
There's nothing wrong with cheating. Cheating has never hurt anyone.

Except for people getting STDs from their partner who got it from someone else of course.
Say what now? I'm gonna need some clarification if you're serious or whether that was sarcasm which went straight over my head.

Whatever your views on the rights/wrongs of cheating saying that cheating never hurt anyone is . . . how to put this nicely? A complete load of bull.
 

Lil devils x_v1legacy

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May 17, 2011
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Angie7F said:
I think it is jealousy.
This is shy I think if you are going to cheat, you have to be very good at it.
As long as you can go with out being discovered that its ok.
If you are not smart enough to keep it a secret. dont attempt it.
I do believe it is the betrayal, the deception even more so than the jealousy that is the issue. It is the lying that is the problem here, not " whether they are good at it or not." Regardless of " how sly they might be" they would not be able to conceal mononucleosis, gonorrhea, genital herpes, hepatitis c, or HIV and it would not only be unethical to conceal partners you have exposed to these things, it is also illegal in many areas to conceal partners you have exposed to these things, and they must be legally notified that they have been exposed so they can be tested and start treatment if necessary. Not only do you have to inform potential partners that you are infected, but past partners have to also be informed as well so they can be tested and receive treatment. Failing to notify them results in delay of treatment which can be life threatening, and the person responsible for delaying that treatment should be held legally accountable for those actions as well.

Although the dishonesty in the relationship is bad enough to receive condemnation, the health risks associated are also enough to warrant legal action as well.

I would also like to know what one plans on doing in the event that the people they are cheating on happen to meet by chance? The world is a very small place, and these things do tend to happen. People are branded as " untrustworthy" and " dishonorable" for good reason.
 

Athefist

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Nov 10, 2008
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If you've ever been cheated on by someone who is supposedly in a committed relationship with you, you'd know it's one of the most painful things imaginable. It's also completely unnecessary. Just break it off with your partner and go from there.
 

Yopaz

Sarcastic overlord
Jun 3, 2009
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Mr_Spanky said:
Yopaz said:
There's nothing wrong with cheating. Cheating has never hurt anyone.

Except for people getting STDs from their partner who got it from someone else of course.
Say what now? I'm gonna need some clarification if you're serious or whether that was sarcasm which went straight over my head.

Whatever your views on the rights/wrongs of cheating saying that cheating never hurt anyone is . . . how to put this nicely? A complete load of bull.
Don't worry, I am 100% sarcastic. I am completely against cheating for the emotional part as much for the chance of catching something.
 

hooblabla6262

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Aug 8, 2008
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Mostly because it is a violation of trust.

I've cheated many times, both physically and emotionally.

Because society didn't really align well with my polyfidelity ways, it felt justified.
Even though I never got caught and no one got hurt, it took a toll on me.
When you betray the trust of someone you genuinely love, it makes you realize just how fragile love and trust really are.
But when you've done it the once, it becomes hard not to fall in to that pattern.

Truth is if I hadn't had a major ego collapse on lsd, I probably never would have stopped cheating.
 

Smeatza

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Dec 12, 2011
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I personally despise it because it's selfish and disloyal.

Athefist said:
Just break it off with your partner and go from there.
This.
In this day and age, with e-mail, texting, voicemail and the like. There is literally no excuse for cheating. If you can't take 10 seconds to type out a text to your significant other saying that it's over, then you are either a fundamentally bad person or a fundamentally weak person.

I suppose if one is polyamorous none of this is an issue.
 

JemothSkarii

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Nov 9, 2010
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It's an issue of trust and breaking the bond between you and your partner in a way that isn't really fair to them. I was cheated on....well, technically 5 times but I took her back every time because I thought 'she was the one'. She eventually threw a whole bunch of excuses at me: 'I'm pansexual' 'I can't help but love multiple people' 'You've changed too much'....all that fun jazz...It's been over a year now and it still ocassionally raises my anxiety and I have to hold back the urge to check up on her DeviantArt and see which 20th something partner she's been with...

Needless to say it was so bad it's made me wary of people calling themselves pansexuals and negative views towards polyamory but that's a whole different kettle of fish.
 

ZippyDSMlee

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Sep 1, 2007
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Relationships are built on trust and fickle feelings, While under normal weight the bounds do not strained much but start cheating,lying,stealing it weakens those bonds creates more stress and just messes things up to a point one can not cope under the weight of it all..

Or in my case none can withstand my weight,size and over compensation issues. *giggles*