28.
Like just about everyone else here I'm worried how the future will turn out, and what the best course of action will be.
Short Term:
-still waiting on the results from my PhD submission six months later (my uni didn't have a defence just submit the thesis) with no support from the uni (I am in the UK, they are in AUS) and the victim of out of sight/out of mind.
-feeling unconfident about a career in academia (the logical choice for a PhD) because I had a really bad experience with my supervisor who knocked all the confidence out of me, and I was always rejected for publications.
-want to become a journalist but feel unconfident because I don't have any qualifications in media or experience as a journo. Can't afford to spend money on said degree or qualifications because of moving to the UK and currently being unemployed. Currently being a blogger and pretending like that's "Building a portfolio" and trying to apply for jobs.
Long term:
-Worrying I actually have some kind of mental disorder that is undiagnosed but suspecting it's probably just regular old lazy brain (more Brain Training Dr Kagoshima!) and depression.
-Not wanting to become my parents, my dad has been unemployed for like 6 years and seems so picky about getting a job he's become this house-bound person. My mum works full time to pay for them in a job she doesn't like but has been doing forever. I don't want to end up doing "a job" to pay the bills, especially because they have pushed me to be a professional since I was a kid (though that didn't go so well obviously). But I know I would be good at doing "a job" and would one the one hand be satisfied with teh money.
-Feeling guilty about not really liking my parents but unsure how to deal with it. They have gotten weirder since I moved out of home, they're very introverted, everything is too hard basket but a get rich quick scheme - so nothing ends up happening, we have none of the same interests. They gush over my husband's achievements and solicit his advice like gospel but ignore me or condescend me. (this is compounded by being an only child). Because of them our family isn't close (like extended family) but I worry about perpetuating the same thing into the future.
-Unsure about having kids. I can't afford a kid now, and I don't know if I really want kids. But I am worried about getting too old to have kids.
-I am envious of my husband's success. We followed the same path (at one point it became I followed him) and he is super successful as a scientist. He's super smart and he seems to have it all fall into place really easily. I'm proud of his success, and he supports us financially, but I also resent that while he is breezing along in his second post-doc, I am still waiting for the results from my PhD (that I wanted to quit but everyone told me to keep going with).
Sorry it's long.
