Hmm. A couple of my many favorites would be:
"But Yahtzee, you charismatic stallion!"
"Go Team Retard."
"Bull. Fucking. Shit!" (What Arbitrary Silliness shows on screen)
"Never stick your dick in a pudding. It might still be good pudding, and you can spend all afternoon trying to convince people of that, but no one's going to eat it because *you stuck your dick in it*!"
"[The Witcher 2] introduces combat in the same way a randy stallion introduces his powerful turgid cock."
"The very first image in the game is a brief flash-forward depicting your helmet lying discarded in the dust of battle-scarred terrain, what the fuck do you think happens in the end? Your character thrillingly and climatically gets a little bit hot?"
"The combat had been vastly improved, but everything else had been beaten with the angsty stick and forced to write poetry with penfuls of black eyeliner."
"On paper it looked like everything we'd hoped for: The light-heartedness and Arabian aesthetic of Sands of Time, combined with the improved gameplay of Warrior Within, but then a lot of things look good on paper, like the little blue dolphins on toilet paper that fail to distract from the fact that I am wiping my ass with it."