Why bother making 'friends'?

[Dreamer of Theaters]

Sounds like Asperger's to me

Nah, I've got parts of it, and that's Autisim, not depression. It MAY lead to depression, but Asperger's is best summed up by thinking the whole world is black or white, and not being able to think laterally. Read a book called "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time" to get a great example of Asperger's.

 

[Dreamer of Theaters]

Of anything I've learned in my short stay on this planet its that people are temporary, disposable, and possibly garbage. Knowing this makes it hard for me to want to bond with people knowing that given a few months to a couple of years I will never see or hear from them again. I wish it wasn't this way, but I've learned though pattern recognition that making friends is pointless, to the point where 'friend' becomes a misnomer.

I'm wondering what others think about this (and I know I'm going to get a shit-storm of people who are going to be all 'you socially-misaligned misanthrope' on this.) I admit that I sometimes feel lonely and I do have a few people I hang around with, but I'm not friends with them: I just hang around them. There is no sense of comradely or connection, and I don't think I fit in with them anyways. There will be no hard feelings when it comes that I never see them again. I have formed emotional bonds with people before, and at best I had to feel the heartache of never seeing someone I was close to again, and a worst had this relationship betrayed, so why bother anymore if its just going to end in pain?

I, too, think making friends will just end badly. Well, I have Severe Social Anxiety Disorder and other lovely afflictions of the mind so, add that to poor social skills in general, I find it extremely hard to make friends. Every failure connecting with people is just negative reinforcement. I have one or two "friends" IRL who I've known for a while, but I just don't have any sort of rapport with them. I just nod along and pretend to be amused. We've mostly drifted apart. Maybe I need better friends, but I... don't know how. So as a result, I just expect to be betrayed at every turn, and expect friendships to be shallow and temporary. =/

You aren't the type of person who should be advising anyone. My Ex girlfriend was just like you. All these problems and never doing shit to fix it.(and so as to not be a complete asshole try actually putting forth the effort. BOTH OF YOU.If you meet someone who you aren't compatible with then look for other people you'd be surprised. I meet friends from the goths, emos, nerds, football players, stoners, I'v even been friends with a hooker.)

Haha. I wasn't trying to advise, just giving my experience; but anyway, that's a rather unfair judgement. I want to make friends, I really do. Yet every time I try and reach out to people, I screw up. Crippling social anxiety gets in the way and I end up seeming completely dull and boring. I've gotten to the point where I think "why bother?", "is there really such a thing as friendship?" I try to maintain a positive attitude but it hasn't paid off as of yet. You think I haven't tried to fix it? I'm getting therapy for my problems at the moment. Too early to tell if it's working. It just isn't as simple as you suggest when you have a mental illness which severely affects your perception of social situations and makes simply being in the proximity of other people a scary situation.

Look, the point on why that guy complained about you ISN'T about you actually having social disorders. It's ACTUALLY about offering advice to people when clearly you don't have the right advice to give in the first place. That's like if someone complained that they can't stop smoking, and you replied with, "Yeah, just give up. Why bother trying to stop when you know you must have another one. I have been smoking for 10 years now, have cancer and still can't stop myself from having more then three a day."

 

[sage42]

Why bother making friends? Simple Because Friendship is Magic! *feels original*

I apologize for the terrible joke that will make even the most diehard pony fan groan, I couldn't help it. But seriously because, like many others have said they make this short, terrible miserable time we have on this earth bearable.

 

[MammothBlade]

Of anything I've learned in my short stay on this planet its that people are temporary, disposable, and possibly garbage. Knowing this makes it hard for me to want to bond with people knowing that given a few months to a couple of years I will never see or hear from them again. I wish it wasn't this way, but I've learned though pattern recognition that making friends is pointless, to the point where 'friend' becomes a misnomer.

I'm wondering what others think about this (and I know I'm going to get a shit-storm of people who are going to be all 'you socially-misaligned misanthrope' on this.) I admit that I sometimes feel lonely and I do have a few people I hang around with, but I'm not friends with them: I just hang around them. There is no sense of comradely or connection, and I don't think I fit in with them anyways. There will be no hard feelings when it comes that I never see them again. I have formed emotional bonds with people before, and at best I had to feel the heartache of never seeing someone I was close to again, and a worst had this relationship betrayed, so why bother anymore if its just going to end in pain?

I, too, think making friends will just end badly. Well, I have Severe Social Anxiety Disorder and other lovely afflictions of the mind so, add that to poor social skills in general, I find it extremely hard to make friends. Every failure connecting with people is just negative reinforcement. I have one or two "friends" IRL who I've known for a while, but I just don't have any sort of rapport with them. I just nod along and pretend to be amused. We've mostly drifted apart. Maybe I need better friends, but I... don't know how. So as a result, I just expect to be betrayed at every turn, and expect friendships to be shallow and temporary. =/

You aren't the type of person who should be advising anyone. My Ex girlfriend was just like you. All these problems and never doing shit to fix it.(and so as to not be a complete asshole try actually putting forth the effort. BOTH OF YOU.If you meet someone who you aren't compatible with then look for other people you'd be surprised. I meet friends from the goths, emos, nerds, football players, stoners, I'v even been friends with a hooker.)

Haha. I wasn't trying to advise, just giving my experience; but anyway, that's a rather unfair judgement. I want to make friends, I really do. Yet every time I try and reach out to people, I screw up. Crippling social anxiety gets in the way and I end up seeming completely dull and boring. I've gotten to the point where I think "why bother?", "is there really such a thing as friendship?" I try to maintain a positive attitude but it hasn't paid off as of yet. You think I haven't tried to fix it? I'm getting therapy for my problems at the moment. Too early to tell if it's working. It just isn't as simple as you suggest when you have a mental illness which severely affects your perception of social situations and makes simply being in the proximity of other people a scary situation.

Look, the point on why that guy complained about you ISN'T about you actually having social disorders. It's ACTUALLY about offering advice to people when clearly you don't have the right advice to give in the first place. That's like if someone complained that they can't stop smoking, and you replied with, "Yeah, just give up. Why bother trying to stop when you know you must have another one. I have been smoking for 10 years now, have cancer and still can't stop myself from having more then three a day."

Do I have to say it again? I wasn't trying to advise!!!

I apologise if giving my personal experience is inappropriate for this thread, but well, I have some understanding of what it's like to be in such a situation. And please don't compare SA to smoking, it really isn't helpful.

 

[Mikodite]

This thread is 5 pages long while I'm typing this and the one who started this has not had any other posts in the entire thread. Thereby, I declare this thread an exquisitely succesful troll. Shine on, you crazy diamond!

and on topic: Because bumping into your ex-mates somewhere feels really good.

Yeah, sorry about that.

My experience with miserable teenage years- stop being sad, and be awesome instead. True story.

No, I'm not being a smart ass- this actually works. The girl I loved told me one day when I was particularly down in the dumps to forget that I and the world around me WOULD die, and only consider that we COULD die. Live life without regrets, right? Well I said, "Fuck it, good idea" and kissed her on the spot. We've been together three years.

These days it's hard to look on life and feel miserable, because I know that no matter what the end, it's worth living.

People like you make me worry about high schools. Please don't purchase a gun. You're either of that particular age where stubbing your toe can make you suicidal or I'm just very sad for you. Life doesn't last, neither does friendship. People leave, people die, people drift apart for no good reason. But perhaps you just haven't met very good people. I always thought that there would be someone else for everyone on the planet. Someone, somewhere is just as messed up as you and together you can fix each other.

I'm picking on you two because you were the last ones to make this mistake about me.

I'M TWENTY-THREE YEARS OLD. I'm not some whinny teenager that listens to emo-rock and cuts themselves.

Sounds like Asperger's to me

Nah, I've got parts of it, and that's Autisim, not depression. It MAY lead to depression, but Asperger's is best summed up by thinking the whole world is black or white, and not being able to think laterally. Read a book called "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time" to get a great example of Asperger's.

I'll be honest, I do have an autism diagnosis, but I really don't see what its got ot do with anything (and I did read "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night" and was deeply offended by it btw.

 

[PatrickXD]

Everything ends in tears, that's a given.
Knowing that, why not have friends anyway? Humans are sociable creatures, we like be around people and work best with others.
Life is just easier when you've got a big group of people all willing to give you a hug when you need it, or when you just feel like one.

 

[deus-ex-machina]

I'm picking on you two because you were the last ones to make this mistake about me.

I'M TWENTY-THREE YEARS OLD. I'm not some whinny teenager that listens to emo-rock and cuts themselves.

Yeah, I know how old you are, but that doesn't stop you walking into a school. It seems the done thing to kill school kids over anyone else and where's the best place to find school kids?! Hmm? HMM?! I do like how you dispute your age and not the mass murdering though.

 

[Dreamer of Theaters]

This thread is 5 pages long while I'm typing this and the one who started this has not had any other posts in the entire thread. Thereby, I declare this thread an exquisitely succesful troll. Shine on, you crazy diamond!

and on topic: Because bumping into your ex-mates somewhere feels really good.

Yeah, sorry about that.

My experience with miserable teenage years- stop being sad, and be awesome instead. True story.

No, I'm not being a smart ass- this actually works. The girl I loved told me one day when I was particularly down in the dumps to forget that I and the world around me WOULD die, and only consider that we COULD die. Live life without regrets, right? Well I said, "Fuck it, good idea" and kissed her on the spot. We've been together three years.

These days it's hard to look on life and feel miserable, because I know that no matter what the end, it's worth living.

People like you make me worry about high schools. Please don't purchase a gun. You're either of that particular age where stubbing your toe can make you suicidal or I'm just very sad for you. Life doesn't last, neither does friendship. People leave, people die, people drift apart for no good reason. But perhaps you just haven't met very good people. I always thought that there would be someone else for everyone on the planet. Someone, somewhere is just as messed up as you and together you can fix each other.

I'm picking on you two because you were the last ones to make this mistake about me.

I'M TWENTY-THREE YEARS OLD. I'm not some whinny teenager that listens to emo-rock and cuts themselves.

Sounds like Asperger's to me

Nah, I've got parts of it, and that's Autisim, not depression. It MAY lead to depression, but Asperger's is best summed up by thinking the whole world is black or white, and not being able to think laterally. Read a book called "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time" to get a great example of Asperger's.

I'll be honest, I do have an autism diagnosis, but I really don't see what its got ot do with anything (and I did read "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night" and was deeply offended by it btw.

Well, you were the one who mentioned Asperger's in the first place. And deeply offended by that book? Why?

 

[Doctor Glocktor]

Hanging out with friends is a hell of a lot more enjoyable than being by myself and doing fuck all.

 

[Shivarage]

Sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Given that attitude I imagine you don't put forth much effort, which is going to end up in the conclusion you expect.

There are a lot worse self-fulfilling prophecies... like the government saying the lower classes are lazy and worthless

 

[Battleaxx90]

Of anything I've learned in my short stay on this planet its that people are temporary, disposable, and possibly garbage. Knowing this makes it hard for me to want to bond with people knowing that given a few months to a couple of years I will never see or hear from them again. I wish it wasn't this way, but I've learned though pattern recognition that making friends is pointless, to the point where 'friend' becomes a misnomer.

I'm wondering what others think about this (and I know I'm going to get a shit-storm of people who are going to be all 'you socially-misaligned misanthrope' on this.) I admit that I sometimes feel lonely and I do have a few people I hang around with, but I'm not friends with them: I just hang around them. There is no sense of comradely or connection, and I don't think I fit in with them anyways. There will be no hard feelings when it comes that I never see them again. I have formed emotional bonds with people before, and at best I had to feel the heartache of never seeing someone I was close to again, and a worst had this relationship betrayed, so why bother anymore if its just going to end in pain?

I'm going to say to you what I said to Neku at the beginning of The World Ends With You:

Get ready to be hit with the Character Development stick hard, my friend.