Why Can?t Men Aim?

[dystopiaINC]

They're doing it wrong. The offending weapon is a lot like a hose with a variable jet/spray. All it takes is the ability to adjust it in realtime.

Now, the real challenge is pissing in the dark. That adds a whole new level of challenge.

HAHAHA i have done that!, often when i wake up at 4 in the morning my eyes are just way to sensitive to turn the light on, so i take a rough estimate and go by echo location!

 

[Paksenarrion]

Don't cross the streams!

 

[RoyalWelsh]

Why can't Men aim while going to the toilet? Drunk or sober?

After living with more Men then Women all my life (Family/Friends/Relationships) I've always had to enter a bath/toilet room with piss on the floor and toilet seat. This happens 90% of the time in the mornings I lived with a few Men in a house (and more often when alcohol has been involved) I nearly fucking die sometimes because of slipping.
Why does it never get cleaned up by the said Man?

I don't quite understand it, I'm I just unlucky? (although, a lot of people do agree, even Men themselves)
Do some Men think their penis is longer than what it actually is, so stand too far back?
Is it just lazines?
Or, do you have your own explination as to why you/other Men do it?

Note: I'm not saying all Men are like this, I just want to know why it does happens in cases?!

Haha, I love this thread

OT: Tbh, i've never really had a problem aiming at the loo, unless my pee decides to do a random split stream halfway through, though I do clean up after. After having sex is when it's starts to get really unpredictable though, and don't get me started on trying to pee with an erection, lol.

I also hate it when other guys leave their smelly piss stains on the toilet seats. ([small]Do NOT go into the men's toilets in Metro's. *shudders*[/small]) ¬.¬
I especially hate it when some people have done a number 2 and not flush in clubs and pubs, I mean c'mon guys, what the hell, I don't want to see your big, smelly poop just floating around when I enter the cubicle, jeez.

However when i'm drunk, it does take a bit more coordination to hit my target, especially when i'm uber drunk and I see two blurry toilets instead of one, but i'm still a good shot.

Men taking a piss seems to be a very complex, intense situation.

You can say that again.

 

[geldonyetich]

If you have foreskin, like myself, sometimes the stream can manifest in a wholly unpredictable manner that can lead to accidents. That's relatively rare, however.

I don't know what the excuse is with public urinals. They've usually got a rather wide range of reception - you can go 60 degrees off course and be okay. It's probably kids trying to use a urinal too big for them that are doing it. Either that or, if you're in a bar, people drunk off their asses.

 

[Reece Stevens]

Ot wouldn't happen if men weren't affraid of pissing sitting down, its a much more efficient sollution and is more comfortable...

 

[Cavouku]

A lot of people gave a lot of good answers.

And we didn't even get into the ***** that is pissing with a hard on.

Oh many a morning...

EDIT: Though in general, I'm a good enough shot, it goes in the bowl (and I don't drink, so I can't answer the subsequent drunk question).

But yeah, unpredictable this, nightmare mode that, foreskin, urinals, sitting, blah blah blah.

You'll appreciate our ability to stand when you have to go camping with a guy in a deep forest some day, and we keep the coyotes away. Footnote: the higher up you piss, the bigger the other animals think you are.

 

[Shadey[64]]

Sometimes in the morning, if its first thing I get an out-of-nowhere shiver.. Never goes well..

 

[rt052192]

Let me put it in scientific terms. The trajectory of piss can be compared to the location of an electron. There is no way we can know for sure, but we have enough general knowledge to know where the electron may be from the theory of quantum leaps. The same can be said of piss. Like an electron making a leap, through either gaining or losing energy, we can project where it may be. When men pee we have enough knowledge to know where it could end up, but we never know for sure. In conclusion, the messiness of peeing can be explained through this theory. For a brief period of time men haven't the slightest of clues as to where their piss will end up, but after the initial leap men can regain control and direct it into the toilet without any mess.

I hope all my science made sense...

 

[hecticpicnic]

Men can aim, it's just that the trajectory of the piss isn't always too predictable. Sometimes the stream just goes in a different direction than you had expected. Orifices aren't that predictable.

I laughed so hard,almost chocked on my chicken when yo said that.
I find that its hard with the seat down and in public men are just to lazy to put p the seat.

 

[Devil's Due]

A lot of people are just dismissing it as "it happens." However, that shouldn't be so carefully removed. I'm tired of all these years going to places to use the restroom and people seem to urinate on purpose on the floor, seats, and relieve their bowls without flushing. It's just seriously disgusting. People do this to "rebel," or be jackasses. They should get a kick in the ass for each time they do it, selfish pricks. Some people need some discipline in their lives.

 

[wammnebu]

yeah, we really should strap laser pointers on them.

 

[Sandytimeman]

to really piss off women. Thats why we piss, off target. LOL heyo!

 

[realslimshadowen]

I just sit down and avoid all that crap. As it were.

But in defense of men who stand, it's not like our urethras are have been rifled like the barrel of a gun.

 

[Arkhangelsk]

Men can aim, it's just that the trajectory of the piss isn't always too predictable. Sometimes the stream just goes in a different direction than you had expected. Orifices aren't that predictable.
Have you ever tried pouring water from a glass, only to find that the water runs down the glass instead of going straight down? That might happen towards the end of a peeing-session, when pressure is sinking.
Oh, and the infamous "split stream". That one's always delightful.

I always clean up if I make a mess though. Anything else would be gross.

You know, sometimes I wonder why I don't just sit.
[sub]Men are supposed to stand, damnit! That's just what we do. We are gifted with the ability to stand, and we'll be damned if we don't use it to its fullest.[/sub]

I agree with everything you said there. Peeing is a delicate art.

 

[garbutt]

When drunk I always apply the rule of 'better a sitting piss than a standing poop' so as to avoid drink-fueled aiming problems.

Or potentially even nastier problems that might occur should you chose to stay standing up when you really, REALLY shouldnt have.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Based on personal observation: When the man's member is aroused (or in a transitional stage) it screws up the...focus(?) of the urethrae, causing a stream of piss to break off into two or more streams (personally, I've never had more than a triple-stream. Unsure how that happened)

Trying to pee with a boner is always a challenge but when you have to go you have to go. Also, it doesn't always split the stream if your man is partially erect so you never really know how it's going to go until you begin to go.

Personally, I sit down 80% of the time. Mostly out of laziness but partly because I love reading in the throne room. It eliminates the mess too. If I am standing, and if I do get some on the rim I will do a wipe. If I get any on the floor...well, it's normally in that crawl-space between the tub and toilet so...ostrich syndrome there.

 

[Quazimofo]

Well, I don't drink so I can't speak to that, but the trajectory is not a constant and that can cause problems. Of course, anyone who isn't a complete asshole wipes up anything that missed the toilet themselves.

Really, it's all just another reason why mild OCD makes you a superior human being.

huzah! finally i have found a brother in my plight. none respect the little things that come from mild OCD, all i get is recommendations for medication to make it dissapear. We must find others like us and unite, THEN CONQUER THE WORLD IN THE NAME OF OCD

 

[Wereduck]

In my experience, in the morning a man's aim is sometimes hindered by morning wood.

And as for me, unless I'm in a serious hurry I do sit to avoid the whole aiming problem. Am I supposed to be worried that it'll wander off if I don't keep it in sight at all times?


aside: my 144th post, an even gross, and it's about spilling urine - surprisingly appropriate.

 

[Xyphon]

This is why I like to just pee on a wall in the shower. I can always hit my target there.

... You can't be serious. THE WALL of all places!? Why not aim in the general vicinity of the drain? Hell, the FLOOR is better than the walls because it's constantly in touch with water!

OT: The stream can be EXTREMELY unpredictable, especially with an erection. One time I SOMEHOW managed to let loose a stream that went UPWARDS instead of the direction I was pointing. That was an embarrasing day.

Missing is fine, but not cleaning up the mess is just lazy and nasty. Used to have a roommate who apparently went out of his way to piss all over the toilet and floor. He didn't last very long in my room.

 

[FalloutJack]

Well, there are those who don't care and those who are lazy. It happens.