Why Can?t Men Aim?

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Palademon

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Lyri said:
Palademon said:
I pee sitting down, because I DONT CARE, and from my disloyalty to doing it standing up, I have physically FORGOTTEN how.
You stand there with your dick in your hand and you go for gold.

How else do you imagine peeing standing up?
Not something you forget.
I physically can't.
If I want to I have to sit down, start peeing, stop mid stream then quickly stand up turn around and continue. And that usually wont work so I'll have to bend my legs, looking like an idiot.
 

iLikeHippos

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Someone, somewhere, is beating off to this thread as we speak... (Not me, mind you)

Men weren't made for bathrooms! We were meant to go nuts in the forests and fend of bears with our stand-up peeing!

But now suddenly we have to adapt to a tiny, tiny bowl because of decency. Men weren't adapted to decency in nature!
I'll pee wherever the hell I please, and no one can stop me! Bwahahahaha!
(This is pretty much ironic since I always sit down. You never know when nr2 wants to have a go.)
 

SL33TBL1ND

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Nov 9, 2008
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mjc0961 said:
This is disgusting in public toilets. There are apparently a bunch of man rules about which urinal you should take in a public bathroom. I always ignore those and just go to the toilet with the smallest pee puddle underneath it. Some guys clearly overestimate the length of their unit and don't stand close enough.

As for piss on the toilet seat, that has less to do with aim and more about "hey jerk, you should have lifted the seat before you peed". Nobody wants to sit in your pee; not women and not other men when they have to poop. So put the damn seat up before you do your business!


Jonluw said:
Oh, and the infamous "split stream". That one's always delightful.
Oh man, I hate that. Thankfully it's quite rare.
Regarding urinals, I think you may be talking about this [http://blog.xkcd.com/2009/09/02/urinal-protocol-vulnerability/].
 

MercurySteam

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Trajectory is fine for me, even in the dark. Drippy drippy is a problem though.....
 

Akalistos

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Alright.

First, there's multiples factors that can alter your aim.
1: Pressure: How much urine the man must evacuate in and of itself it a factor that drop with time. More pressure mean the stream go farther and vice versa. You always need to relocate your aim while you piss
2: Stiffness: It also depend on what state is the penis is. If he's erected, it became harder then if it's in docile mode.
3: What you did with it: It's still related to pressure but after masturbating or sex, some of the pressure can be as bad if not worse. Same goes for Alcohol. When there's too much liquid for the hole, you get the "spray" instead of the stream.
4: Skin or Bare: You can get the "spray" if your not careful with your foreskin.

As for rebound, it all the toilet's fault. You could argue that it all physic. The high, pressure and angle determine the effect but if the toilet were better design, you wouldn't matter. There are toilet made for men with a bigger boll and wider to accommodate the gent.
 

Jewrean

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FamoFunk said:
I'm not sure if it has been addressed or not and just a warning to minors that the following part of this post isn't suitable for young viewers:

When men masturbate or have sex excessively there can be a little bit of gunk formed near the tip of the penis. This causes the urine to shoot out into two different directions, one aims inside the bowl and the other onto the seat or onto the floor.

An example of this happening can be seen in the movie 'Me, Myself, and Irene' where Jim Carrey takes a wizz and his urine shoots off in the direction of the wall.
 

qeinar

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Jul 14, 2009
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i rarely miss when sober, while drunk.. well.. i think i usually end up sitting while drunk, because standing becomes somewhat hard for me to do when i'm drunk out of my mind. 2 of my best friends i know usually sit al the time while peeing, sitting can be pretty chill.. i prefer standing though.
 

OniaPL

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10 pages of talking about peeing. Only on Escapist! Join today!

I rarely miss. Although when youre really drunk or tired, it's hard to do the necessary calculations to predict where you will pee.
 

Torrasque

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Aug 6, 2010
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Beacuase some guys are bad at aiming, and/or miss a little bit, and are too lazy/douchey to clean it up.
The urinal was invented especially for guys to solve your little problem :p
 

Pistachio101

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I came for the march
Swollen Goat said:
You know what, women? You say men can't aim? You stand up, face the toilet and see how much you get in the bowl! /blaarg

Pistachio101 said:
OniaPL said:
10 pages of talking about peeing. Only on Escapist! Join today!
Finally, a forum I can relate to.
You joined just for it, didn't you?
I came for the March madness. I stayed for the pee discussion.
 

OniaPL

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*sigh*
Now we only need a thread about poop. "Are you a floater or a sinker-The poop thread!".

Seriously, 10 pages? God...

By the way, I approve that slogan. Too bad I can't make it my custom title.

Edit: If we are degrading to this pee-discussion level, we may as well take it further. I can pee without using my hands, and I never miss! I am just that good!
 

Mad1Cow

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Jan 8, 2011
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It really is more difficult then it looks and takes thought to get right. I could go into details but I won't just because...hurgh...no this isn't that type of forum. Just assume several things, if there isn't enough pressure, it will travel every other route than the air to get to the toilet, if there's too much pressure, it will splash on the toilet and spray everywhere. It's a fine balance and something you women don't have to think about...however I give you have other problems so we have to deal with this.

Also don't label the whole "sitting down is a guaranteed hit" because it's not. There's a small gap in the toilet between the seat and the basin where if you accidentally hit it will spray ALL over the bathroom...so I still have to aim when sitting down, and if it's just angled straight down it cuts off the straw letting nothing past. Now I'm not sure if that's just because I'm not well endowed in life but hey it's hard either way and it's just easier for me to just aim naturally and if anything bad happens, clean it up.
 

infohippie

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The Unworthy Gentleman said:
We do aim, but it's difficult.

Think of a hose, you can give the direction in which it will go but it isn't always perfectly accurate is it? Men have that sort of problem but with more inaccuracies because penises don't have smooth, perfectly circular, metallic holes to get the piss out.
Well yours might not...
 

Zykon TheLich

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We can aim...and we aim for the seat specifically to piss you off (hurr pun, unintentional would you believe).
 

somonels

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Expelled urine exits my biological plumbing at a 40[sup]o[/sup] angle. To hit the waste disposal waters I could either twist the extruded semi-limb - no way - or target the wall. The latter would draw some hostilities in men's public restrooms where they might think I was aiming for their urinal.
 

Jandau

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Dec 19, 2008
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The initial burst is the problem. It can be tricky to predict exactly where it'll go. Generally, most of the "misses" are due to that initial spurt, after which we can correct the trajectory and no additional apilling occurs.

A better question might be "Why do so many men neglect to clean up after themselves?"

Seriously, I sometimes miss a little, I admit. But I always make sure the whole thing is clean before moving on. My GF has no idea that "misfires" occur since she's never had to encounter a pissed-on toilet...
 

A Free Man

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FamoFunk said:
Why can't Men aim while going to the toilet? Drunk or sober?

After living with more Men then Women all my life (Family/Friends/Relationships) I've always had to enter a bath/toilet room with piss on the floor and toilet seat. This happens 90% of the time in the mornings I lived with a few Men in a house (and more often when alcohol has been involved) I nearly fucking die sometimes because of slipping.
Why does it never get cleaned up by the said Man?

I don't quite understand it, I'm I just unlucky? (although, a lot of people do agree, even Men themselves)
Do some Men think their penis is longer than what it actually is, so stand too far back?
Is it just lazines?
Or, do you have your own explination as to why you/other Men do it?



Note: I'm not saying all Men are like this, I just want to know why it does happens in cases?!
By the sounds of it you are just really unlucky. I'm assuming in this case that we are talking about men over the age of like 10 in which case there is really no excuse D: