Why do we Have Fetishes?
- Thread starter Julianking93
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As far as my reading on the subject goes, It's an association thing.
The mind is not an entirely rational being, especially when in an aroused state, this can lead to situations in which, when a person is sexually aroused, the mind will pull a contextual item or concept out of the situation and provide it as a reason for the arousal.
As far as I can tell it works on the same basis of irrational fears.
Irrational fears tend to arise through particularly unpleasant experiences but often the subject of the irrational fear is not the cause of the unpleasantness.
Let me provide an example:
If you were buried alive (just for a bit) and somehow managed to survive the encounter, you may well be suitably mentally scarred, Your mind may at this point, in the irrational state of fear, notice that there are some worms crawling about down there and may affix the concept of worms to the concept of being buried alive.
So next time you saw worms, in some cases your subconscious would be reverted to that irrational state and hence we see the effect of irrational fear.
Flip that on it's head, perhaps you will find your answer.
The mind is not an entirely rational being, especially when in an aroused state, this can lead to situations in which, when a person is sexually aroused, the mind will pull a contextual item or concept out of the situation and provide it as a reason for the arousal.
As far as I can tell it works on the same basis of irrational fears.
Irrational fears tend to arise through particularly unpleasant experiences but often the subject of the irrational fear is not the cause of the unpleasantness.
Let me provide an example:
If you were buried alive (just for a bit) and somehow managed to survive the encounter, you may well be suitably mentally scarred, Your mind may at this point, in the irrational state of fear, notice that there are some worms crawling about down there and may affix the concept of worms to the concept of being buried alive.
So next time you saw worms, in some cases your subconscious would be reverted to that irrational state and hence we see the effect of irrational fear.
Flip that on it's head, perhaps you will find your answer.
i think we do it to make things more diverse and more interesting and to stimulate our sex drive when we really cannot get things going or it just isnt thrilling you anymore.
Personally, I have a fetish for red-head girls. I dont solely seek out Red Heads... but theres something about a hot red head thats just... so much sexier than any other woman.
that, and legs... its all really weird and unexplainable
Personally, I have a fetish for red-head girls. I dont solely seek out Red Heads... but theres something about a hot red head thats just... so much sexier than any other woman.
that, and legs... its all really weird and unexplainable
BDSM is quite a lot of fun, but I think people do it for different reasons comapred to other fetish which seem to be due to association, where BDSM is more linked to having too little or too much power and responsibility in everyday life, and so is a healthy way of releasing frustrations or letting go of responsibility's.
I'm 15, and I don't understand fetishes. Maybe I'm too young to have developed one or something, but I can't understand how someone can get a hard-on over feet or hands.
The pregnant woman thing is pretty obvious, she's very clearly fertile and men are hardwired to find signs of fertility attractive. It's the same reason that straight, white teeth, shiny hair, good skin, clear eyes and nice breasts are classical measures of attractiveness: they all imply that this person will make a suitable sexual partner and will probably be successful in passing on genetic information.
As for fetishes, I feel like they're a luxury that's developed since humans progressed beyond the point of having to procreate frantically to survive, and has allowed us to specialize, the same way that not everyone has to be a subsistence farmer anymore. Or perhaps it's a way so that even people who don't exhibit the usual signs of attractiveness, but have, say, really nice feet, can still find a mate.
Of course, a person's specific fetish is individual and often has its origin in childhood, with the whole Freudian notion that a child will grow up to prefer a partner similar to his/her opposite sex parent. But honestly, the human mind is way too complex to apply Freud's simple theories.
There's been some really good discussion on this so far. This is why I love Escapist- most any other site would have turned this into dick jokes long ago.
As for fetishes, I feel like they're a luxury that's developed since humans progressed beyond the point of having to procreate frantically to survive, and has allowed us to specialize, the same way that not everyone has to be a subsistence farmer anymore. Or perhaps it's a way so that even people who don't exhibit the usual signs of attractiveness, but have, say, really nice feet, can still find a mate.
Of course, a person's specific fetish is individual and often has its origin in childhood, with the whole Freudian notion that a child will grow up to prefer a partner similar to his/her opposite sex parent. But honestly, the human mind is way too complex to apply Freud's simple theories.
There's been some really good discussion on this so far. This is why I love Escapist- most any other site would have turned this into dick jokes long ago.
Masochism strangely. No Idea why.
I suppose people have different turn ons and offs and a fetish is an area of specific taste.
I suppose people have different turn ons and offs and a fetish is an area of specific taste.
I could probably go down a list of "fetishes" and you'd probably find them attractive. Most men are into some kind of kink, whether they know it or not.Lemon Of Life said:
Do you find nurses attractive? School teachers? Older (but still hot) women? Female ninjas? These are all fetishes, just not to the Quentin Tarantino foot-fetish extreme you might be thinking of. The way I think of it is a fetish is something that you could add to ANY decent/good-looking woman to make her more attractive to you. Like for some people, the woman speaking Italian is apparently that thing.
What's to understand? I don't "get" certain fetishes, but it's not so hard to understand the concept of something which might be considered kinky being arousing to somebody.Akai Shizuku said:
hmmm... I wish i could tell exactly what my own fettish is so that i could answer this question. Maybe im just wierd and not all sexually human.
I also have an Asian girl fetish, whoo! Probably because I love Japan so much.
There was an article in Chat magazine about some bloke who killed loads of women because he had a fetish for it or something O_O I can't quite remember the full story, but at the end there was an article about fetishes, and I remember it saying they're sick and twisted, usually a persons secret desire that originates from childhood
I'll try find it if I can.
There was an article in Chat magazine about some bloke who killed loads of women because he had a fetish for it or something O_O I can't quite remember the full story, but at the end there was an article about fetishes, and I remember it saying they're sick and twisted, usually a persons secret desire that originates from childhood
I'll try find it if I can.
The 'grandfather of psychology' as we know it is either William James or Wilhelm Wundt, arguably. Freud was never a psychologist. He was a psychoanalyst. The two sound the same but are entirely unrelated.Jinx_Dragon said:
Medicalisation is quite a trend in mental health circles, but the doctors you speak of are, thankfully, a minority. Most psychiatrists (psychologists are not licensed to prescribe drugs) are less eager to prescribe medication unless a condition ruins your life or the lives of those around you. You may be diagnosed with a paraphilia, but if you're happy and you know it
To my knowledge paraphilia originate from associative learning during a sensitive phase in sexual development: if you think someone is hot, and there's a certain aspect about that person (or the situation in which that person presents him- or herself) that stands out, you forever associate hotness with that aspect. Which in turn can lead a life of its own. But that still doesn't explain more exotic fetishes.
To be honest, different fetishes can originate from different mechanisms. It's too big an umbrella term. For instance: would you consider rape fantasies are the same as really liking (and I mean really liking) shoes?
Hell, it's been even suggested that rape fantasies are inherent to our nature. Really makes you think about what 'normal' is huh?
[small](little caveat: all claims in this post have an empirical basis but I'll be damned if I'm going to look for references.)[/small]
Edit: And oh yeah, I have a goth and a redhead thing going on for reasons I can't quite fathom.
i don't think that liking asians is really a fetish.Julianking93 said:
I too have a raunchy case of the yellow fever, but if thats a fetish, then everything is a fetish. We don't say "heterosexual men have a girl fetish" or "homosexuals have a dude fetish."
A fetish would be something like "I can't get off unless you put your feet in my mouth." It is simply a complex learned behavior that became embedded with a person's sexuality. Take that fetish and make it about cleaning the apartment rather than sex, and you have OCD. Take that fetish and make it about writing books and you have Stephanie Meyer.
Behavior is interesting.
I would attribute it to a sort psycho-sexuality, the sex drive in humans is strong, and gets tied up in all sorts of mental processes in the brain, causing sexual "wierdness".
Anyway, i'll give my two cents to the topic by trying to provide some explanations for fetishism by use of exhamples (for convincences sake, i will use a hetrosexual male perspective, of course homosexuals and women also have fetishes)
-Foot fetish- favoured by those who like being dominated by other women, the foot is very smybolic, being under it is like a sort of "ultimate submission". Wanting to be dominated by women could stem from feelings of being inadequate or unworthy, or perhaps being tied up with feelings of guilt and wanting to be punished, which probably also links in with submissive bondage, and masocism.
BDSM- i've already explained what i think about submissive bondage, dominant bondage i think comes from a want to control others, which possibly comes from a frustration with the opposite sex, or perhaps as a form of deep seated anger which is expressed by sexual domination. (also probably explains sadism)
Hmm.. i feel very much like a psychogist now..
There are of course "softer" fetishes, which most people have mentioned and most people have experienced. Some people find red-heads and asians hot, probably because they are rare and exotic, it makes them seem more unique and interesting. I sometimes find girls with glasses really cute, i think that stems from the fact that my first crush was on a girl who wore glasses. I also love women in tight jean's, legging's, leather or whatever- but then again don't most men? (I remember learning that one of my female freinds was going to a cosplay dressed as catwoman..my brain nearly exploded with exitement)
It's fairly obvious why guys like form revealing clothing though- they reveal and highlight the female form, which males find attractive.
Anyway, i'll give my two cents to the topic by trying to provide some explanations for fetishism by use of exhamples (for convincences sake, i will use a hetrosexual male perspective, of course homosexuals and women also have fetishes)
-Foot fetish- favoured by those who like being dominated by other women, the foot is very smybolic, being under it is like a sort of "ultimate submission". Wanting to be dominated by women could stem from feelings of being inadequate or unworthy, or perhaps being tied up with feelings of guilt and wanting to be punished, which probably also links in with submissive bondage, and masocism.
BDSM- i've already explained what i think about submissive bondage, dominant bondage i think comes from a want to control others, which possibly comes from a frustration with the opposite sex, or perhaps as a form of deep seated anger which is expressed by sexual domination. (also probably explains sadism)
Hmm.. i feel very much like a psychogist now..
There are of course "softer" fetishes, which most people have mentioned and most people have experienced. Some people find red-heads and asians hot, probably because they are rare and exotic, it makes them seem more unique and interesting. I sometimes find girls with glasses really cute, i think that stems from the fact that my first crush was on a girl who wore glasses. I also love women in tight jean's, legging's, leather or whatever- but then again don't most men? (I remember learning that one of my female freinds was going to a cosplay dressed as catwoman..my brain nearly exploded with exitement)
It's fairly obvious why guys like form revealing clothing though- they reveal and highlight the female form, which males find attractive.
How open minded of you.Akai Shizuku said:
OT: I was ninjad:
Why do you have to do this, I never get to write posts, you always say what I was going to say.Nickolai77 said: