Would you date a former cheater?
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I started this............. Cough.........ok if you say so.Phasmal said:
And there is a big difference between saying no probably not and saying "No" in an almost snooty, superior stuck up matter, at least that's how you're rubbing off on me. Like I said I don't cheat, mainly because I've seen the repercussions of cheating like HPVs that cause cervical cancer which condoms don't block, but I'm not going to sit there and be judgmental of someone who might of made a mistake over half a decade ago. Believe it or not people do change, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse.
Someone with an open reasonable mind, lets get all the facts together before we start passing out judgment.370999 said:
I am sad to say that I have once cheated on a girlfriend of mine, and before the event had happened I had always told myself that it was something I would never do. Of course, controlling our emotions is a difficult task, especially in our tumultuous high school years, but, speaking for myself at least, after having hurt some one in such a way, I feel its safe to say it is something I will not do again. It was a temporary lapse in judgement, and it lead to the collapse of both relationships, but having learned from the whole ordeal, I would not say it is fair to judge someone or to potentially not date someone due to them having cheated before. People mature and they learn, and I feel that someone who is wiling to own up to their past failings is at least trustworthy enough for the chance to prove themselves.
Running on almost 3 years with my senior year sweetheart, never came close to cheating or betraying her, the past does not dictate the future.
Running on almost 3 years with my senior year sweetheart, never came close to cheating or betraying her, the past does not dictate the future.
You assume emotion isn't a part of this?? Ha!rosac said:
I can't speak for everyone else but my answer came from my emotions. From the fact that the very thought of infidelity angers me so much that sometimes I feel near angry tears. That I avoid songs about cheating because they address it in a positive manner and shit.
The same can be said about those mentioning everyone makes mistakes and stuff. That sounds logical, right? As opposed to those of us who put a former unfaithful person in a category that defines them in our eyes?
Sounds emotional to me. It's just the one that has nothing to do with love.
I doubt it. There might be reasons for it and all that, but it sort of reeks of dishonesty and betrayal of trust. If you're in a bad relationship I can understand it, but if you decide to cheat rather than be honest and end it then I'm not sure I would trust that person. I am paranoid though so that is more of a personal issue than anything else. Just because you have cheated in the past it doesn't mean you'll do so again, it would also depend on how I found out I guess. If I had been told in confidence after seeing the person for a short while then that would indicate enough honesty not to try to hide the past. This isn't really a black and white matter so it's impossible to give a straight answer I guess.
Depends. How long ago did they cheat, why did they cheat, ect. I would definitely be their friend or best friend.
Once you exclude everybody who cheated, the people they cheated with and those that have done it with partners who were in monogamous relationship at the time, you'll find yourself with an extremely limited dating pool.
From my experience, at least 2/3 of all relationships end with a third party being involved.
From my experience, at least 2/3 of all relationships end with a third party being involved.
I wouldn't knowingly date a cheater. My ex cheated on me and while I've forgiven her, I won't get back together with her. And I don't know if I could trust someone who was cheating on their ex.
Someone who was the other woman/man? Well, depends. Were they knowingly so? It's one thing to sleep with someone you think is single and find out the hard way.It's another thing to knowingly screw someone else's SO.
Someone who was the other woman/man? Well, depends. Were they knowingly so? It's one thing to sleep with someone you think is single and find out the hard way.It's another thing to knowingly screw someone else's SO.
Personally i would feel bad if my girlfriend didnt take advantage of a good offer just be cause she was dating me.
holing herself back from enjoying herself and getting to know someone just because she committed to me is self denial to me and almost self abuse.
we sould just be happy that the other was having a good time while the other was indisposed with lifes crap like work and the such. its a little more comlecated than that but thats the gist.
holing herself back from enjoying herself and getting to know someone just because she committed to me is self denial to me and almost self abuse.
we sould just be happy that the other was having a good time while the other was indisposed with lifes crap like work and the such. its a little more comlecated than that but thats the gist.
I think you may be imaginging things.disgruntledgamer said:
I do not feel superior to excheaters, I feel nothing about them.
Just like I don't feel badly about people who don't play games, but the fact that they don't makes me less likely to date them.
The only one coming off as superior is you, acting as if having some dealbreakers is a bad thing.
I'm flattered you think I'm so great that not dating excheaters is somehow doing them a disservice.
I'm sure me and excheaters would both agree we're fine as we are.
EDIT: In short, I am not saying no in superior way, a stuck up way, or any other sort of `way`.
We could probably ***** back and forth forever, but I'm kinda done with this conversation because it's going in circles.
I think I'm seeing things pretty clearly, you say one thing but your manner and tone say another. How can I think deal breakers are a bad thing I made an entire thread about it remember, and most of those things in my list weren't jokes FYI. You know for someone who complains that I'm picking on them you certainly don't hesitate to hit the reply button. Listen hun I know you're a bit jealous that I'm prettier than you (I'm prettier than most girls) and are upset my mind comes with my body, but that's just the way it is, no sense getting upset about it.Phasmal said:
When did I say you were picking on me?disgruntledgamer said:
I just said you seemed to have a problem with me saying no and not others.
Of course I don't hesitate to hit reply, you keep quoting me.
But if you feel there needs to be a distinct end, then here:
AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
You may now feel free to not reply.
Or if you simply must reply, then I won't reply to you, if it makes it easier on you.
And you keep quoting me! I'd just like to point out I didn't even have enough time to make a quick 10second edit to add 6 little words on to the end of my post before you jumped allover me. Am I really that good looking ladies, am I really that irresistible even with a bad photo?Phasmal said:
That's actually not very hygienic, I hope you get tested on a regular basis dude. I don't hold someones past against them, everyone's prone to make mistakes it's just a matter of the right situation coming up at the wrong time. I do hold people responsible for the present tho, regardless if the odds of it happening were less than winning the lottery and it may never happen again. 1 Strike and you're out, no exceptions.Jodan said:
No.
I'm in my 30's. If someone cheated in highschool then I'd probably let that go.
Most of us mature and change quite a bit from those years.
If this person cheated in their 20's or later then I'd have a hard time trusting them and would avoid a relationship altogether. It's entirely possible that they've learned from their mistakes...but I'm not willing to devote the time and effort to find out.
I'm in my 30's. If someone cheated in highschool then I'd probably let that go.
Most of us mature and change quite a bit from those years.
If this person cheated in their 20's or later then I'd have a hard time trusting them and would avoid a relationship altogether. It's entirely possible that they've learned from their mistakes...but I'm not willing to devote the time and effort to find out.
Depends, some people go through phases in their life where they bounce around a lot, and cheating happens, some people are seemingly chronically obsessed with finding someone new after being with anyone for a time, and they don't seem to care enough to break it off before moving on, I'd date the former as long as they'd grown out of it, and the latter tend not to let you know that they do this, I usually look for tells in how she behaves in public to see if she has someone else attatched, and if it becomes obvious enough, I'll ask her or just break it off.
I've been the "other man" by accident a few times, and it sucks.
I've been the "other man" by accident a few times, and it sucks.