You are proclaimed "Evil Overlord of Earth", what do you do first?

[SD-Fiend]

hack the game so my title is "The most badass overlord", level up to level 1 million, get Laharl, Adell and Mao into my party and thus begin the bonus finished the game levels (kudos to you if all this made sense to you)

not if I get etna,raspberyl,flonne and lord val on my team and zetta won't take to kindly of you trying to usurp his title by cheating that's low even for a demon!

 

[Char-Nobyl]

One random, seemingly normal, day, You are proclaimed "Evil Overlord of Earth". You have the entire world under your control, out of the blue, and somehow accomplished what Dr. victor von doom only dreams of. what do you do first?

Slow down there. How? Not "how did you get in this position," mind you, but how do you have control of the planet? Do people instinctively obey you? Do you have the strongest army on Earth?

I'd take half the worlds money,

Rather than, say, an ATM card/something that simply lets you access a theoretically unlimited amount of money. That way, you're only taking money as needed, rather than stealing half the money on Earth and causing God knows what sort of problems...and then running out of shit to do with it after the first few million spent.

reinstate all former world leaders,

...wait, what? What does this even mean? Are you going to put the recently-ousted dictators back in power? Because that's the only thing I can think of that you could possibly be referring to.

are retire, to my flying lair-castle of dread.

Helpful hint: if you suddenly gain control of something you didn't have before, it doesn't magically gain things that it didn't have beforehand. Like, for instance, magical flying fortresses.

EDIT: you can be good with your power. you could be "the mr nice guy" if you want. there is not limitations.

You literally stated that we'd be crowned "Evil Overlord of Earth," and I've never seen 'evil' as part of a job title.

 

[Necron_warrior]

ALL HAIL BRITANNIA! ALL HAIL JACK!
Yeah...Most probably the code gess route. without the terrorists and freedom ofc.

 

[IamLEAM1983]

The first thing I do?

Um, probably start laughing in as ominous a way as possible. I need to work on my Ominous Laughter.

Past that? I'd ask for Switzerland's net worth to be delivered in my personal bank account or threaten to vaporize the remainder of the world's oil supplies with my Super Vaporizer of Doom that Kills and Maims.

Then I'd research sustainable alternatives to fossil fuels and vat-grown meats and produce - and share none of it. I'd demand fealty from the world's petty governments in exchange for my wondrous technologies. Whoever subverts my gracious gifts into tools of war gets obliterated by yours truly. Anyone who denies Science and threatens innocents with ridiculous God-fearing nonsense is also up for grabs. The Mormons, Muslims, Baptists, Scientologists and Raelians who take their bullshit too far are all rounded up and given lethal injections. Anyone who even vaguely shows promise of turning a new leaf and subscribing to a more moderate version of their initial faith is spared.

Oh, and Creationism would be banned. God created dinosaurs? Foolish theist, to the Greenhouse Gulag! Go and spend the rest of your life tending hydroponically produced fruits and vegetables to feed the Third World and be condemned to enjoy a steady diet of Stephen Hawking, Carl Sagan and Bill Maher videos, along with classes in critical thinking!

It isn't terribly evil, I know - but hey. This is Real Life, I don't have it in me to reason like Pigface Ganon, from the eighties' Legend of Zelda cartoon.

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"I'm evil and I need no justification or reason for it because I'm evil! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

 

[Drakmorg]

1) Build a moon-base
2) Build a giant laser in my moon-base
3) Kill anyone who pisses me off with my laser in my moon base.
4) Issue the decree: "Live in peace or I'll kill you from orbit you bastards!"
5) Whores
6) Play Skyrim

 

[Dango]

Unite the world under the power of the Starfish Alliance.

 

[Feinei]

I would check my map again,
clearly I'm walking in circles!

 

[Pinkamena]

I'd first make an army of horse-sized ducks! That's for sure. Nobody messes with ducks.
Oh, and build an orbital friendship cannon to use when people are arguing.

 

[estoria-etnia]

Make sure that I've read the Evil Overlord's handbook and then proceed to start trying to improve the world, I guess.

 

[Fathoms]

lesse...

i would take all of China's money and give their people jobs creating a mile-high statue of myself in silver plated with gold and kill the ones that dont work hard enough,

i would blow up the moon to screw up the tides,

i would melt the polar ice caps to flood all over,

i would raise the average temperature of the world by 4 degrees Celsius to screw up the climate.

 

[D0WNT0WN]

Demand Concubines.

Several.

 

[cahtush]

Play Skyrim.
...
...
...
Couse why not?

 

[standokan]

World Peace, reverse psychology all the way.

 

[Karthek]

Use my vast wealth to force a collaboration between BBC and Studio B to make an epic MLP-Doctor Who crossover!

Oh yea, and send the cast of Jersey Shore to the sun(BURN!), make MTV good again, bring back Rock n' Roll, and I'd put the Mythbusters in charge of all things science!

I don't make a very good evil overlord

 

[Treblaine]

One random, seemingly normal, day, You are proclaimed "Evil Overlord of Earth". You have the entire world under your control, out of the blue, and somehow accomplished what Dr. victor von doom only dreams of. what do you do first?

I'd take half the worlds money, reinstate all former world leaders, are retire, to my flying lair-castle of dread.

EDIT: you can be good with your power. you could be "the mr nice guy" if you want. there is not limitations.

Force George Lucas to officially declare the Prequel Trilogy non-canon,
have him relinquish ALL rights to the Original Trilogy and all his prior work (he can keep Indy 4),
then have him publicly paddled one stroke for every line of dialogue from Jar Jar Binks.

He may continue directing movies but he will be forced to do it on $100'000 budget and banned from using any CGI.

 

[JPArbiter]

since it is "Evil overlord of Earth" I would begin by summary execution of the planets entire Vegan Population. Sorry Natalie Portman. Kari Byron is spared cause she is merely vegitarian, and is hot.

 

[AnotherAvatar]

Free everyone and destroy the oppressive systems put in place to assure such absolute control, returning the planet to it's natural state of anarchy until some other group with guns decides to trick people into believing that anything else is even possible.

 

[C117]

Tell someone to make me a sandwich. With sausage and cucumber. Then I'd hire Bethesda and Bioware to make an RPG together, after I call up Nintendo and demand that they explain their Zelda-timeline. And finally, I'd put Stephenie Meyer and every last copy of everything Twilight-related on a rocket, then fire it into the sun.

There are a bunch of other stuff I'd like to accomplish, but this will do for the first week or so...

 

[Fifty-One]

Develop a clean, cheap, highly efficient energy source, parade it in front of the media and then sell the rights to an oil company.