You have one free punch.

[Someone Depressing]

What if I lined up everyone in the world, then punched the first person, knocking everyone over?

Well, people I'd let out, are Yuri Lowenthal, if he promised to recite his favourite lines from video-game roles he did to me, Shoji Meguro for being a really good musician, and Roberta Williams so I can tell her how to make good games if she ever tries again.

Or, Dane Cook. You're not funny. Stop trying.

Or probably God. Though, it'd be like swinging, tripping up on your own feet, and falling into a hole, because there's no-one there to punch. Besides, if he was real, I'd like to ask him a few questions before I did.

 

[Someone Depressing]

The Queen, definitely the Queen. All the fun of punching a little old lady combined with the joy of punching a useless royal, I'd also like to give a little wave just like the Queen does just after.... if that is permitted.

What exactly the old fart does, I'll never know. She's like a poser - all she really rules now is the church. And, you know what? Fuck the church. The parties they have at my local church anually that my gran forced me to come to as a child sucked.

 

[MetalMagpie]

I would carry it around on a necklace and use it to threaten folks that were bothering me. "See this? Keep it up, and it's yours." A punch is waaaaaay more useful before it's thrown.

This. ^ This is a good plan.

But if forced to use it today: Richard Dawkins, you are mine!

I know, I know. There are plenty of people in the world who deserve a punch far more than he does. I know I should use my One Free Punch for the good of mankind.

But I've been itching to punch that wanker in the face for some years now.

 

[MetalMagpie]

Or probably God. Though, it'd be like swinging, tripping up on your own feet, and falling into a hole, because there's no-one there to punch.

Fictional characters are allowed in the rules.

 

[The White Hunter]

Theresa May, without question. She is absolutely incompetent and if my punch managed to put her out of action for a couple of weeks, I'd willingly go to prison as I'd be doing the country a favour.

OOooh good choice.

I'd personally go with George Osbourne and just punch him so fucking hard it warped reality so that he actually knew some basic fucking macroeconomics. Rather than tax us out of recession how about some encouragement to spend ****!

¬_¬

 

[Raika]

I'd punch Yoshinori Ono in the teeth for ruining my favorite genre.

 

[James Crook]

I'd use it on Bachar el-Assad. The punch doesn't have to be in the face, right?

 

[Artemicion]

Lauren Faust.

Not for MLP:FiM.

For opening the door to MLP:FiM fanfiction.

No really, probably any of several political figures.
Truly, politicians are the weeds of the galaxy.

 

[Chalacachaca]

This guy, right here.

 

[GamemasterAnthony]

Archbishop John Neinstedt of Minneapolis/St. Paul

Many of my fellow Minnesotans know his crimes. His stance against gay marriage is well known...to the point where he has done things that quite frankly I am surprised he hasn't gotten sanctioned for. Especially when you consider this is the guy who, back in 2008, actually distributed a DVD to try and convince people to vote in favor of the marriage amendment.

A DVD produced and distributed using church funds! That money could have been used for any number of charitable reasons! This should've AT THE VERY LEAST had the archdiocese put on warning that they could lose their status as a nonprofit for acting like political activists rather than a religious organization!

 

[Captain Pirate]

The Pope.
The hypocrisy in the Catholic church is ridiculous, and I would relish the chance to punch the man at the head of it.

Although, I would far prefer the chance to talk to anyone on the face of the earth round to my way of thinking.

 

[Vortex Traveller]

Nick Clegg or David Cameron.... wonder if I can hit two people with one punch...

 

[DocMcCray]

Oh my god, you sick bastard!

Only one? But...I want to punch the shit out of Nancy Pelosi and Sean Penn!

*whimper*

 

[SpectacularWebHead]

obama. for lying about closing the american concentration camps and thus spitting on human rights as well as the nobel prize committee.

Obama would totally kick your ass. With a look.
And that last bit is innaccurate, despite what you hear on the news, do some research.
(I will concede that nobody knows why he got a nobel prize, that's a stumper)


Umm, I'd probably punch either Casey Hudson, Peter Molyneux, Jim Sterling or Justin Bieber.

(Weeelll, Casey and Jim are reedeming themselves, slowly but surely. So Bieber or Molyneux)

well i'm rather tiny and of very non-threatening physique, so yeah, he could fold me like a piece of paper. that's why this is a free punch.

though still, it isn't exactly rocket science. and yes i did research. he said he would close the camps. he didn't. he lied. so they continue to exist and continue to be one of the worst u.s. crimes in recent history. and no one can tell me that he wouldn't have the power to do it if he wanted to. i don't buy that.

I looked it up, he is currently fighting for their closure. He has the power, but it was made very difficult to get around (Legally) by the Bush adminstration who set most of them up in the first place.
While he has the power to close it right now, he does not have the power to erase a decision made by the previous government without the concent of his own and the party that was previously in power. Which is stupid, when you think about it, and even more so that this applies in most countries around the world.
I have faith in Obama, from outside observations in countries like britain the media doesn't show bias one way or another to other governments because we have no voting power, we sort of get the "This is Obama, he does this:" version, with no political thingy's in favour or against him. (We get a fuckton for our own government though)
I guess you guys probably get the same thing about our far less interesting politicians too

 

[ThePenguinKnight]

Glenn Beck, straight to the nuts as hard as I can so that he requires some form of emergency surgery.

Runner up, Hitler.

 

[Sansha]

My ex-fiance. I'd love to break her stupid glasses off her stupid face.

The Pope.
The hypocrisy in the Catholic church...

...I would far prefer the chance to talk to anyone on the face of the earth round to my way of thinking.

Duh and/or hello?

 

[dcdude171]

I would save it for an unwanted pregnancy ....

 

[Riddle78]

Let's see here...First,I'd put on a cestus. Then I'd go back in time,to the release date of Mass Effect 3. Then,I'd find the person who started the whole "Retake Mass Effect" noise. Then I'd rip out a full throttle straight to their throat,while wearing the cestus. This will be before they start the whole "Retake Mass Effect" thing,of course.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

Rod Blagojevich. In addition to being a crook and generally messing up my state, he also expedited the process by which the state stole my mom's pension - the one she paid into for 30 years that also disqualified her from social security.

 

[Justyn Stahll]

I would Falcon Punch with the power of everything the guy who thought up those Stupid, Treehugging, Frolicing, Cannibalistic, Filthy...Elves
Just as he was about to write it down I would FALCON PUUUUNNNNNCCCCCHHHHHH the thought out of his head...
*Grumbles about Elves and Prancing*