You know you've been on the Escapist too long when...

[Barbas]

...But the toast is ruined.

 

[UltraDeth]

There's a new pool in town.

 

[Barbas]

You are the only normal person in here.

 

[UltraDeth]

TiVo is full.

 

[Barbas]

Cable is worth paying for.

 

[UltraDeth]

Red Dwarf has a hyperdrive.

 

[Barbas]

You only post in the same five or so threads.

 

[UltraDeth]

You feel like a bag of frozen sweetcorn.

 

[Barbas]

It's Crappypasta Oktoberfest again.

 

[UltraDeth]

The toothpick needs sharpening.

 

[Barbas]

The trousers of time have broken and left you stranded in Dwemer times.

 

[UltraDeth]

Rayman is missed.

 

[Barbas]

Ubisoft is dead, it's finally dead!

 

[UltraDeth]

They fucked up my tomatoes!

 

[Barbas]

He was waxing the wrong carrot.

 

[UltraDeth]

The Scots would lift their kilts for anyone.

 

[Barbas]

It turns out you're the firestarter.

 

[UltraDeth]

Neo-Sovietism is trending worldwide.

 

[Barbas]

Dow Jones is now a sentient, city-razing robot.

 

[UltraDeth]

I could go for a hair of the dog.