You know you've been on the Escapist too long when...

[UltraDeth]

There's an 1800 to 1 chance of being killed by a Satsuma.

 

[Barbas]

Shermans are actually pretty good now.

 

[UltraDeth]

Dracula hasn't aged well.

 

[Barbas]

You hvabiblbiblbbiblbibblbiblifficulty speaking English sometimes.

 

[UltraDeth]

It's really cold most mornings.

 

[Barbas]

Your brain broke again.

 

[UltraDeth]

Your browser needs clearing out.

 

[Barbas]

Everything la-a-a-a-ags.

 

[UltraDeth]

You haven't made brown in 96 hours.

 

[Barbas]

You don't know whose mug that is or how it got there.

 

[UltraDeth]

You're craving a bag of Smarties.

 

[Barbas]

The left arm's gone numb now.

 

[UltraDeth]

Final Fantasy XV is out.

 

[Barbas]

You can't feel your eyes.

 

[UltraDeth]

Dinosaurs are in again.

 

[Barbas]

You don't quite know where the weed spot is...

 

[UltraDeth]

New Ebony & Ivory coffee.

 

[Barbas]

The new national dish is blini.

 

[UltraDeth]

Manchester is being considered the new capital.

 

[Barbas]

The cow's jumped over the spoon.