Your Best Conversation Killer?

[Eiv]

"Put your hands up if you have Aids?!"

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Any joke that ends with 'The Aristocrats' as the punchline.

 

[artanis_neravar]

Raise your hand if you have a grandmother....*point at someone with their hand up*...not so fast"

 

[monstersquad]

Here's something my friend said to me spontaneously while we were watching Dexter, it still makes me laugh out loud 6 months later.

"Once upon a time, there was a serial rapist....."

 

[Macheteswordgun]

I like the smell of women farting. Just try to think of a response. Or if you get one, You might have an interesting weekend if your into that.

Also Big Floppy Donkey Dick. That will end a conversation.

 

[CardinalPiggles]

WARNING: MINE IS QUITE RUDE!!!

Spoiler

do you like anal?

im so sorry... but it really does work!

 

[TheAceTheOne]

All I have to do is be there to kill a conversation. I'm that awkward.

Same.

On topic: "So, yeah, I saw your internet history... Lotta baaaaad stuff on- Oh, that was mine, my bad."

Not sure if that'll be too good to use, but I did it once and my friend shot milk outta his nose as a result.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

This girl I work with likes to interject into other peoples conversations with "My Mother is Dead!" It really kinda sucks...

Why don't you say 'So is mine!' and put your hand up for a high five.

 

[General Vagueness]

explaining physics, delving into what little I know of quantum physics if I have to, or explaining popular music if the person is into physics

 

[Hawk eye1466]

Randomly interupt whoever your talking to and just yell "JUST DANCE GONNA BE OKAY DO DO DO JUST DANCE!"

or as soon as they stop talking no matter what they say just reply with "kinky"

or "am I the only one with a huge boner right now?"

 

[proctorninja2]

my favorite one is to just striaght up rub ur nipples, when the person sees it you can stop or just smile and enjoy it though now its become an inside joke among my friends for insted of nosies its nipples

 

[The Shade]

"You're sitting in it now."

"Contagious? Contagious, I said! Real contagious, he said."

"So as of this morning, I quit my medication. Homicidal tendencies be damned!"

"So then I realized that the doctor was a ventriloquist and it was his dummy that was giving me the exam.

 

[Vivace-Vivian]

"I liked Final fantasy XIII."

Shut, down.

 

[bob-2000]

My favorite two:
"Sometimes I eat sand."
"Huh, I have a sudden crazing for legal sized paper."

 

[bob-2000]

"You're sitting in it now."

"Contagious? Contagious, I said! Real contagious, he said."

"So as of this morning, I quit my medication. Homicidal tendencies be damned!"

"So then I realized that the doctor was a ventriloquist and it was his dummy that was giving me the exam.

Sorry for the double post, but you, sir, have an excellent taste in comics.

 

[The Night Shade]

Couldn't resist

<youtube=QtBsemB5iWg>

 

[KiruTheMant]

Just randomly interject with "I have no Grape Soda." whenever.

 

[Elijah Ball]

"...and thats how you got herpes?"

 

[Ladette]

Do you have a sister? Cause I swear I fucked someone who looked just like you last week.

 

[Marble Dragon]

"You're sitting in it now."

"Contagious? Contagious, I said! Real contagious, he said."

"So as of this morning, I quit my medication. Homicidal tendencies be damned!"

"So then I realized that the doctor was a ventriloquist and it was his dummy that was giving me the exam.

Gary Larson is an amazing person. You, good sir, win.

For girls: Can't go wrong with gory period descriptions.
For guys: Describe your penis in painful detail? I don't know. I've had less experience in that area.
And if you really hate whoever you're talking to, just switch those around.

Because I sew a lot: "Can you help me pick out a fabric for the furry suit I'm sewing?"