The Shade said:
"You're sitting in it now."
"Contagious? Contagious, I said! Real contagious, he said."
"So as of this morning, I quit my medication. Homicidal tendencies be damned!"
"So then I realized that the doctor was a ventriloquist and it was his dummy that was giving me the exam.
Gary Larson is an amazing person. You, good sir, win.
For girls: Can't go wrong with gory period descriptions.
For guys: Describe your penis in painful detail? I don't know. I've had less experience in that area.
And if you really hate whoever you're talking to, just switch those around.
Because I sew a lot: "Can you help me pick out a fabric for the furry suit I'm sewing?"