Your Best Conversation Killer?

[Monkfish Acc.]

"I'm not interested in talking to you."

And then I walk away. Hi-LARIOUS.

 

[Custard_Angel]

"Fuck the doctor... I know it's not contagious."

 

[Zyst]

"Sooooo I'm on my period"
Works every time.

It'll probably work for you too! Especially if you're a guy.

As for fun things to do in conversation -
Stick your tongue out. Not at them, just poke it out and become fascinated by the only muscle in your body that is only attached at one end. It can take a while if you're in a group, but people will realise and give you funny looks.
Fake a phone call without your phone.
Pretend you're a spy and that what the person is saying is vitally important to your mission.
Replace every name and pronoun the other person says with "The raptors"
Begin staring intently at the speaker's left ear. If they notice, try to slap it.
Whenever someone looks away, remove an item of clothing, or undo a button. This one is really more of a challenge to see how nude you're willing to get in public/in front of the person, and how observant the surrounding people are.

The fun things to do in a conversation sound genuinely fun! I'll try it @ our next party, the clothes one is awesome!

 

[RedEyesBlackGamer]

Me:"Well I wa-ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL!"
Or "Soooo, sex?"

 

[Carlston]

So I said to the monseigneur sternly ...

HEY! That was my penis!

 

[Booze Zombie]

"Well, that's great, but now about rape..."

 

[Composer]

"soooo, how bout dem ponies"
works almost 60% of the time all the time

 

[TiloXofXTanto]

SCIENCE! MEREDITH! SCIENCE!
Everyone goes silent except the science meme heavy people.

 

[fgdfgdgd]

Pull out my dead dogs collar, works every time.

 

[FFKonoko]

I don't really have one. The closest to killed conversations is usually just after I say something like "Don't you hate it when your mind goes blank and you cannot think of a single interesting thing to say?"

Though, I did once witness a (female) friend of mine dropping "If I had a penis, I would totally make you give me a blowjob" into a conversation.

 

[SgtLion]

Simple enough, ask any question entirely unrelated that they can't build on.

Conversational partner: "And so the-"
You: "When does Crysis 2 come out?"
Conversational partner: "I don't know"/"A couple weeks, I think"
You: "Oh."

Silence.

 

[BrownGaijin]

I farted once on the set of Blue Lagoon...

 

[Ultra_Caboose]

1. "Contagious? Contagious?" I asked the doctor. "Really contagious," he tells me.
2. So that's it! As of this morning, I quit my medication. Homicidal tendencies be DAMNED!
3. And then I realized the guy was actually a ventriloquist, and it was his dummy who was giving me the eye exam...
4. You're sitting in it now.

 

[Cowabungaa]

Anything related to geek-culture usually helps over here. Damn hicks...

 

[HardkorSB]

So yeah, what sentences can you think of to kill a conversation?

I had a very pleasant talk with you but let's not talk anymore.

 

[SuperVegas]

Good friend of mines favourite:

"Anyone had any good wanks latley?"

 

[Womlet]

randomly interject (with a very thick English accent) "AHHH HAAA! I am captain hook."

Do these as casually as possible:

At an appropriate moment add "I know what you mean... my ballsack smells like sour milk."

or ask them "Are you naked?" and after they say no add "o, well you should be."

Drop your pants turn around bend over and show them your butt.

My absolute favorite is take something of theirs like a hat or a gloves and half heartedly throw it. If they ask why just say "nah, wasn't me."

 

[Purplecoyote]

"Watchtower?" It's a guarantee.

 

[JoJo]

"Wow, nice ass"

*points to nearby 5 year old girl*

 

[concrete89]

"So, I just read this fascinating article on bestiality..."