Your Best Conversation Killer?

[artanis_neravar]

Wikipedia should be spelled Wikipædia and pronounced like "Wikipadd-ia". It's because of the æ, which sounds like the a in Am. Oooh I just love grammar, don't you?

I'm gonna call you Ted from now on

...my friends already do.
They already do...

YAY then I'm not alone

 

[Ladette]

"Am I the only one who gets turned on by zombies? Those stiff, rigid bodies and rough hands. Ohh...makes me all tingly."

 

[Ima842]

"Shut the fuck up *****" or, interrupting the person "All I can think of while you speak is how good those lips will taste"

 

[Mr. Mortiss]

"I don't care about the Phillies."

Well, it works rather well here in Philadelphia.

Hmm, reminds me of what I say whenever I'm in Atlanta, "My ancestor burned this place to the ground 140 years ago." The best part is, I'm in no way related to General Sherman, but I share his surname and I look a little like him.

 

[Keczapifrytki]

When I get people trying to get me to come to their church or donate to church or talk about their church to me I tell them "No thanks, I'm a satanist." or "I don't think Zeus would be pleased"
Shuts them up

 

[THE M3RCENARY]

"Do you ever wonder what a baby tastes like?"

 

[artanis_neravar]

When I get people trying to get me to come to their church or donate to church or talk about their church to me I tell them "No thanks, I'm a satanist." or "I don't think Zeus would be pleased"
Shuts them up

If you know they are coming answer the door naked holding a big knife and say "make it quick the virgins not gonna sacrifice herself"

 

[icame]

I just got a boner. I need to go to the bathroom brb

 

[Double A]

To quote Fred Fredburger, "I have to go make poo poo!"

 

[superdelux]

Me:Hi,how are you
Person:Good I-
Me:ASSUME THE POSITION!!!!!!!!!

 

[Holyeskimo]

Depends on what you mean, if i try to kill a conversation that involves me and someone else, silence, rudeness, or digusting actions, killing a friends conversation with say a member of the opposite sex, male - hey dude i just heard your gf pregnant congrats, or so how go the genital warts, female- a varation on the second one i just said or, hey dave just called and said he has "insert std here" you might want to get yourself checked.

 

[thecoreyhlltt]

anybody catch any cool STD's lately??

steve, how big are your moms tits? i know she's dead, but how big???

 

[JWAN]

Grave racist or sexist remarks uttered in conversational tone usually work fine. The trick is you have to mean it.


can't find the one with the chick leaping out the window..

I know the one your talking about! she played lois lane in a superman movie and went crazy, ran through backyards and shit.

 

[Captain-Giggles]

"Man you you know what's really crazy? I bet like 80% of the dudes here have masturbated today, probably twice even!"
"Yeah it's tasty, but it ain't no foetus!"
"You know that Hitler chap? Nice bloke, I'd buy him a beer"
"Hey, hey, what's a bird's favourite drink? FALCON PAWNCH!" *Proceed to Falcon pawnch closest target*
And if all else fails just start singing a song about what you see around you off-key.

 

[2733]

These are kinda offensive read at ye own peril

I took this incredibly painful shit last night, it was all like BOOM and there was blood and shit everywhere...

Don't abortions just feel great?

humans taste a lot like chicken

Edward was right!, blood is delicious!

have you ever put your fist all the way up your...

I'm tired of listening, are we gonna fuck or not?

my weenie tastes like gummy bears, try it!

actually that last one could end a bad conversation and start an awesome one

 

[Nouw]

"Balls of steel!"

Works like a charm.

 

[Nieroshai]

I used to think that before the lobotomy.


Or if I don't want to look like a freak, simply "well, I simply don't care. Good day sir!" and walk off.