Your current relationship, be honest, Did you "settle"?

[ObjectiveReality]

I've done it in the past. I used to have a bad habit of going with anyone who showed any interest in me, because I was unused to the concept of people finding me attractive. This led to some relationships I had to flee in ways I'm now not that proud of, and in one case a 2-year "settling" which was quite harmful both for myself and the young lady concerned.

However, I'm now married, and while my wife and I seem like a less obvious match than some of the past relationships I've had (we really don't have that much in common) we've managed to make it work by existing in a pretty complementary way. It's pretty nice - and we've now got a couple of kids, so it seems to be continuing to be pretty nice.

 

[Brutal Peanut]

Actually, I think my Husband may have 'settled' for me. =D

I think he is just what I was aiming for. A nice person who is responsible, loving, friendly, and has a great sense of humor. Also that he found someone he actually LOVES back. It was always easy for me to tell when someone was going through the motions with me. A sort of, "This is what we HAVE to do." instead of something they'd like to do. Or something they've wanted and have finally found. But it's like I can just tell the way he loves me by how he treats me. His mannerisms, the way he talks to me, even after five years he still opens doors for me, small notes on my monitor every so often, co-op game play without stabbing each others eyes out, ....basically, the little things that some people take for granted. lol

It's a really great feeling. ^_^

 

[New Troll]

Nope, but considering I'm a gamer and she's a model, I believe she did. She doesn't think so though.

I did try settling once, with my son's mother, and learned quickly that is NOT the way to go.

 

[Snowalker]

If you expect someone to be "perfect" you will never find anyone. Humans are never perfect.

I meant a kinda, "perfect for you" not like a entirely perfect person, but someone so unbelievably amazing the best way to describe them is perfect. And I really can't word that any better, most people seemed to understand that point, but I guess it could have been confusing, so there's a tiny bit better explanation.

 

[ZeroMachine]

Yes.

After all, what is being single other than settling for being single?

As for my last relationship, I definitely didn't settle. Damn shame that went down in flames.

 

[Capcom4ever]

I'm single because I have neither the time, money, or patience to deal with a girlfriend.

 

[Lukirre]

I'd argue that my failed relationship was a case of her settling for me.

Aside from that though, my current relationship has much time invested into it and we are both very, very happy with each other. Though my insecurity says that she's still settling for me.

 

[Avistew]

I'd never "settle". I've always been perfectly fine being single when I was single, and I've only pursued relationships when I was in love and couldn't imagine not doing so. So no, settling isn't something that I do.
On the other hand, I don't think anyone is "perfect", either, but I also think that's what keeps things interesting. Because someone disagrees with me, I re-evaluate my point of view. Because someone has different interests, I learn new things. As long as it's not an "irreconcilable difference", having someone who's unique and quirky is a good thing in my opinion. And they're not made for me and I'm not made for them, but we adapt to one another and feel like it makes us better people and that's what matters.

 

[Artina89]

I am currently single, but I never felt that any of my ex-boyfriends were "the one" and I parted each of them on good terms because we felt we were not going to accomplish anything if we had a screaming argument. I sat down with each of them and we talked about what the problems were, and we parted friends. We still chat now and then online. I am only 22 and I feel that I am too young to settle down as I feel I have a lot of growing up to do, but plenty of my friends are in long term relationships and 3 of them are engaged and I am very happy for them.

 

[Thyunda]

I'm done settling. I decided to have some confidence in myself, and stopped just taking what was on the table. I went for the perfect girl, and I got her. No settling for me

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Did I settle? No. I hit the fucking Jackpot.

We game together (playing things like Reach, Whacked, Rugrat's Scavenger Hunt, Pokemon Puzzle League, Left 4 Dead...), She and I cook together and her baked goods, other than being mostly home made, are the best baked goods I've ever had (just finished off a Cookies-N-Cream cupcake), She's the same flavor of nerd as I am, we watch ZP, Escape to the Movies and, Big Picture together, we have the same sense of humor, we not only finish each others sentences for each other but we sometimes say the same things in unison, unprovoked as though we share a psychic link.

The added bonuses? She's freaking adorable. Anime fans, she's Mikuru levels of adorable. Her family loves me to the point that they've let me move in. At this point we're still BF/GF but engagement and marriage are definite. Neither of us want kids so we figure we'll fill that void in our lives by...well, we're still getting ideas thanks to the show Oddities and our local comic and, classic games shops.

I found my one...well, technically she found me but still; The point is that we're together. I wouldn't have it any other way :3

 

[JMeganSnow]

im currently single because i refuse to settle

I'm single because other people refuse to settle. Good for them!

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

I think what I could be described as doing right now is called 'punching above your weight'.

My fiancée is better than me in every single way (except, thankfully, for penis size).

 

[Nabirius]

Did I settle? Please people settle for me.









...Wait

 

[EBsessed]

I got super lucky and found my dream girl a year ago, and we've been together for 10 months. We are and were from the start very attracted to each other physically and mentally. We have similar values and interests, we have a ton of fun together, and life always seems to be an adventure when we're with one another, always something new and exciting to see or do together. We're planning to one day get married and have kids, and we honestly think we're soul mates. I had to go through a lot of awful relationships (with the occasional good relationship that ended on unfortunate terms) to find my diamond in the rough, but damn me if I ever say it wasn't worth it. We're dedicated to one another and work through our rough patches.

Never settle. You won't be happy. Remember that the easiest path isn't usually the most rewarding, and settling for what's easy and convenient for the time being will only make things worse and more difficult later down the road. If you feel in your heart that the person you're with isn't going to be the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, even when you both get old, sexually inactive, and no longer attractive, there's not much point in sticking around wasting your and her/his time. Relationships are primarily about finding a mate. If you discover while dating that this person isn't the right mate for you, be bold, take initiative, and do what's best for both of you by ending it so you can move on to meet other people, one of whom may indeed be your perfect match. How will you ever find "the one" if you're too busy wasting your time with people you know won't take you to new levels of happiness and discovery?

 

[LostTimeLady]

No I didn't.
No one's perfect, I'm not and neither is he but we take each other for who we are and love each other for that reason. We enjoy the same things and laugh at the same things. I introduced him to both Minecraft and The Escapist. We play pool together (and he beats me most of the time), hang out together, go for long walks or just sit around with friends.

I believe that 'settling' for someone is a one way ticket to being unhappy. I of all people should be fine with 'settling' for any old someone but I've been told to have a better opinion of my own self worth and find and keep someone who I can treat like a prince when he treats me like a princess.

I feel so lucky because the odds against us meeting were so slim which has to be an encoragement to everyone else.

 

[TobiasFunke]

I don't understand how people can settle! I'd rather be alone! I imagine settling would only make you and your partner unhappy!

 

[googleboy]

I don't feel that I settled, but I feel like Tony settled for me. His only flaw is untreated bipolar disorder. While that is a biggy given what people in the 'States' usually mean by settle, I still feel that he settled for me, not the other way around.

 

[maturin]

It took me a year and three months to get here. So I can probably say not at all.