I'm an atheist, and I don't think most people care if someone else believes in religion, it is more their attitude/actions towards others that people seem to have a problem with. I don't care if that is your belief, as long as we can leave each other alone when it comes to that point in out lives. At least that is how I feel.Lord Garnaat said:
Your dark secrets
- Thread starter chinangel
- Start date
Not sure if this is a "dark" secret or not, but here I go:
I'm a firefighter/paramedic, and I take my job really personal sometimes. I let myself become emotionally involved with my patients. For example, we had a little girl that was hit by a car and was killed. We tried to save her, but there was nothing we could do. I know that, and even if we could have saved her body, she would have been brain dead. I think of that girl every day. I see her pale, bloody and shattered body every time I close my eyes. Most days I am okay, but I think of her all the time, and sometimes I get really depressed about it.
I have dealt with plenty of people that have died; murder, suicide, natural death, accidents, most never bother me. That little girl does though. I have to drive by the accident scene every day. I can still see where her blood was, as I knelled in it performing CPR, even though it was washed away with a fire hose that day. I have dreams about her.
This is mostly a secret because firefighters and paramedics are suppose to be able to handle this type of stuff. I have almost died a dozen times or more in my job, that doesn't bother me. But that little girl always will I think.
I was able to do my job that day, no problem. I did everything I could, everything I should have. I can shut off that part of my humanity during the call and do what needs to be done, but after the call, like this call, it turned back on hard. And I am somewhat disturbed by the way I can do that.
I'm a firefighter/paramedic, and I take my job really personal sometimes. I let myself become emotionally involved with my patients. For example, we had a little girl that was hit by a car and was killed. We tried to save her, but there was nothing we could do. I know that, and even if we could have saved her body, she would have been brain dead. I think of that girl every day. I see her pale, bloody and shattered body every time I close my eyes. Most days I am okay, but I think of her all the time, and sometimes I get really depressed about it.
I have dealt with plenty of people that have died; murder, suicide, natural death, accidents, most never bother me. That little girl does though. I have to drive by the accident scene every day. I can still see where her blood was, as I knelled in it performing CPR, even though it was washed away with a fire hose that day. I have dreams about her.
This is mostly a secret because firefighters and paramedics are suppose to be able to handle this type of stuff. I have almost died a dozen times or more in my job, that doesn't bother me. But that little girl always will I think.
I was able to do my job that day, no problem. I did everything I could, everything I should have. I can shut off that part of my humanity during the call and do what needs to be done, but after the call, like this call, it turned back on hard. And I am somewhat disturbed by the way I can do that.
chinangel said:
Um, what does that mean, exactly?
OT:
Whats my dark secret?
I want Chinangel to send me a PM, detailing her exploits. I'm quite genuinely curious...
A real secret? I once peed in a trashcan, even though a bathroom was close by, for no real reason.
Also, I made an account just make this post, so....Yeah.
If that's truly how you feel and act then you are a rare man, indeed. You have my thanks.dfphetteplace said:
-BDSM submissive
-I saved my mother's life when she was stabbed
- When I was a child I witnessed a rape and only remembered about a year ago
what else can I say that is 'secret' - im kind of public about a lot of stuff
-I used to have depression induced split personality
-I have a bad habit of always planning self defence in any situation. (literally if somone bust down my door right now I have 3 different plans)
-was previously suicidal
-I saved my mother's life when she was stabbed
- When I was a child I witnessed a rape and only remembered about a year ago
what else can I say that is 'secret' - im kind of public about a lot of stuff
-I used to have depression induced split personality
-I have a bad habit of always planning self defence in any situation. (literally if somone bust down my door right now I have 3 different plans)
-was previously suicidal
I am intelligent, perceptive and cynical.
I wish I could be like similar people from fiction who speak their mind and carve out their little place in this world and damn the rest. But every time I do that I get extremely negative responses. So I shut it all away and put on this outward persona.
It's eating me up inside and I hate people more and more as time goes by. I hate myself as much.
I know the lies people tell and it sickens me that people would tell them and hate me for suggesting the truth.
I wish I could be like similar people from fiction who speak their mind and carve out their little place in this world and damn the rest. But every time I do that I get extremely negative responses. So I shut it all away and put on this outward persona.
It's eating me up inside and I hate people more and more as time goes by. I hate myself as much.
I know the lies people tell and it sickens me that people would tell them and hate me for suggesting the truth.
What about Hot Fuzz?The_Waspman said:
I've never meet anyone who didn't love it. It's one of my favourite films ever.
I'm a babyfur, which is someone who is both a furry and an AB, and if you don't know what an AB is I'm pretty sure someone above mentioned it, I'm into bondage and cross-dressing, I'm gay, and I'll do practically anything my 'Daddy' tells me to.
topping? ah well, to be blunt, i pegged my twin brotherAryn Thorn said:chinangel said:
Um, what does that mean, exactly?
OT:
Whats my dark secret?
I want Chinangel to send me a PM, detailing her exploits. I'm quite genuinely curious...
A real secret? I once peed in a trashcan, even though a bathroom was close by, for no real reason.
Also, I made an account just make this post, so....Yeah.
I sometimes steal stuff. Only when I am absolutely sure I can get away with it though. I have stolen a lot of money and alcohol over the years.
I am sexually boring.
I love McDonalds. I could probably survive on Big macs and cheeseburgers for years.
I lie all the time, to get out of trouble, or just to make life a bit easier for me short term.
I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. (I don't know if I've been ninjaed but whatever.)
I am sexually boring.
I love McDonalds. I could probably survive on Big macs and cheeseburgers for years.
I lie all the time, to get out of trouble, or just to make life a bit easier for me short term.
I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. (I don't know if I've been ninjaed but whatever.)
Me too. Flames are awesome.White_Lama said:
I own a fleshlight. Actually, That's a lie... I own 2 fleshlights. And I masturbate... a lot. I've done it on planes, in the toilets at the top of the Rockefeller Centre in New York... not even because I'm that into it... I just like the idea of having done it at strange places.
Why is that disturbing? It sounds like that's your training and resolve kicking in when it's needed. No shame in that. The fact that this girl has affected you so profoundly is reason enough to believe your humanity is in working order.dfphetteplace said:
My girlfriend is currently finishing premed and I worry everyday about how she will handle "bad days". She is an incredibly empathetic person... 'tis why I have been suggesting she pursues physical therapy. Would fit her personality pretty well.
Nope. Hated that too. In fact, in retrospect, pretty much any film with Simon Pegg as the main character. I don't have anything against him personally. I liked Spaced back in the day (but then again, I was a student and didn't know any better). I just don't like those films.Sirpigglesworth said:
I suffer from clinical depression and generalized anxiety, and I?ve got a bunch of weird fetishes that I?ve previously mentioned on other threads. I identify as mostly heterosexual, but I might be bicurious, since I don?t think I?d mind experimenting with a male friend if they were up for it (that, or maybe I?m just desperate and sexually frustrated).
I harbour a little bit of resentment for my parents (but mostly my mother, because she?s the stricter of the two and I?m, well, still living with her) for giving birth to me, because I hate myself, my life, and wish I?d never been born. I like some Katy Perry songs, and often find myself nodding my head or singing along to them.
I harbour a little bit of resentment for my parents (but mostly my mother, because she?s the stricter of the two and I?m, well, still living with her) for giving birth to me, because I hate myself, my life, and wish I?d never been born. I like some Katy Perry songs, and often find myself nodding my head or singing along to them.