I have decided that there are two people in my head.
There's me, and then there's Nicholas.
He's the nasty one.
A girl I was infatuated with forgot I existed for a month, when she asked for forgiveness, I wanted what we had back, Nicholas said that I shouldn't forgive her and that I shouldn't talk to her ever again. I didn't, and I haven't.
In retrospect, he was right. I'm much happier now than I was with her around.
He tells me that I can never have a long-lasting relationship and that on some level I don't love my girlfriend and that we will break up eventually.
I don't know why he does that, he says he just wants what's best for both of us and that he doesn't want me to get hurt, but it's mostly him and his mindset that has been the source of my short bursts of misery for the past few months.
I try to just accept him and not listen to him, but he knows how to get to me.
He's beneficial sometimes, he's a lot more confident/reckless than I am, and sometimes I use that to our advantage.
Welp, now you know just how weird I really am.
