Lara Crigger said:
Love FAQ: Your (Fat) Princess is In Another Castle
Can you ever really trust a girl who lies about her age?
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Sucker-16:
Please realize that at this point, for you, it's not about age anymore. After all, in what other situation in your life could someone pull bait-and-switch this many times and still have you on the hook? Could a car salesman keep changing the price on you like that? Could the plumber keep changing the day he's coming to fix your pipes? Of course not. You'd go elsehwere, likely after the first time.
She's changing her age, and you're still around. That means that this issue has nothing to do with age. This is both good news and bad news. The good news is that people should have no trouble believing that you're not fixated on this girl
because she is young. I can say that as you get older, differences in age mean less--it's differences in
experience that matter. It's just that, when you're in your teens and early 20's, each year of difference can potentially represent
massive differences in experience.
But remember the good news? This isn't about age anyway, so inquiring any further about age is asking the wrong question. What you need to be asking is, "Why has this age thing
and the fact that she has misled me
not turned me away?" And that's where the bad news comes in:
There are many benefits to meeting people online. There are also many hazards. You've found two of those hazards: 1. people can misrepresent themselves, and 2.
we can misrepresent them, too. The fact is that a relationship with no face-to-face component has a lot of empty spaces... which our imagination, fueled by emotional frenzy, is more than willing to fill in for us. And the material we use to fill those gaps will nearly always be favorable, to an incredible degree.
You're fixated on the image of her that you've constructed over all of this time. I know this because I've done it myself, minus the age run-around. At this point, meeting her is going to challenge that image you've constructed, which will lead to one of a few conclusions:
1. You ignore the new information and plunge ahead, to the peril of all.
2. You work hard to reconcile the new information with the old illusion, putting aside fantasy for reality.
3. You realize she's not nearly as magical as you thought, and you move on.
While #2 can often work well if two people are
genuinely compatible, and just have to work through a bit of "reality shock," I don't think that's where you are. You're already discovering that she's lied to you, about something that could potentially cause
legal troubles for you, all to protect her own feelings. Surely that shakes your image of her, and you're trying to reconcile it by transferring the trouble to another issue: age itself.
Pack it in for now, mate. Maybe in a few years, when
she knows a bit more about herself, maybe you could get to know her, too. Don't do yourself the disservice of waiting around for that, though--odds are, she's not going to live up to the version you've created for yourself.