Your Problems

[BallPtPenTheif]

My problem is that I have $200,000 in student loans. Recommendations?

You can try buying out your loan on credit on lower interest rate. My wife did that.

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

Heres a better idea, make your alarm clock a stereo with a subwoofer..Make it play a rap station really fucking loud. You WILL get up to beat the shit out it..

Option B: Have someone call you in the morning.. And won't shut up for 15-20 minutes so you get full-awake.

 

[BallPtPenTheif]

I'm about to start working at my job Monday and here's my problem, what tie should I wear?

Keep it neutral... gray, brown, black, etc. I don't know what suit or outfit you are wearing but you'll get more bang for your buck with a neutral colored tie since it will match everything.

 

[xitel]

Adderall does "kick in", seeing as how it's not an anti-depressant, it's an anti ADHD medication. And that's where the problem comes from. I can't motivate myself to take them. My clock IS across the room, I do stand up and walk over to it, bu I still can't get out of bed completely. Oh well.

Well prozac is an anti-depressant so I don't get why we are discussing adderall. Either way, sleeping or imobility despite the consequences is a symptom of depression. You should probably be discussing this lack of motivation with your physician... you seem intent on characterizing this issue as "I just can't get up".

Well, if it is just that, then stop being lazy... if it is more complicated than that then you need to speak with a pyschologist about it, as it sounds like you already have one. Despite your excuses it's really a simple problem you just need to really want to fix it if you want it to change.

Oh, it is just lazy. Like I said, it's a lack of motivation. I tried anti-depressants (Welbutrin) and it didn't help. And it's hard to stop being lazy.

 

[BallPtPenTheif]

Oh, it is just lazy. Like I said, it's a lack of motivation. I tried anti-depressants (Welbutrin) and it didn't help. And it's hard to stop being lazy.

I tend to be less lazy when I'm doing something I am passionate about or when I tie an objective to people I care about. I am less likely to let things fail or suffer when my friends or family are the ones who are stake... for example I was never motivated enough to produce and direct films so I ended up attaching myself with a co-director who was insanely motivated and production driven.

Symbiotic professional relationships like that can help. In college, I was aware of how much money it was costing my mom so I wasn't about to take more than 4 years for my BA... that association alone is what drove me to medicate myself for 2 years while working through my core curriculum courses.

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

I'm about to start working at my job Monday and here's my problem, what tie should I wear?

Keep it neutral... gray, brown, black, etc. I don't know what suit or outfit you are wearing but you'll get more bang for your buck with a neutral colored tie since it will match everything.

Black only for suits with an overcoat. Black Pants+ White Button-up - A black overcoat just looks weird.

Khaki-coloured pants+White Button up+ Red Tie is good if you don't need to really dress-up.

 

[xitel]

Oh, it is just lazy. Like I said, it's a lack of motivation. I tried anti-depressants (Welbutrin) and it didn't help. And it's hard to stop being lazy.

I tend to be less lazy when I'm doing something I am passionate about or when I tie an objective to people I care about. I am less likely to let things fail or suffer when my friends or family are the ones who are stake... for example I was never motivated enough to produce and direct films so I ended up attaching myself with a co-director who was insanely motivated and production driven.

Symbiotic professional relationships like that can help. In college, I was aware of how much money it was costing my mom so I wasn't about to take more than 4 years for my BA... that association alone is what drove me to medicate myself for 2 years while working through my core curriculum courses.

Yeah, well, I have a scholarship I need to keep my GPA up for, and that's the main motivation. I'm not studying anything interesting or difficult, seeing as how I'm just covering Gen Eds. I figure it'll get easier once I get into the classes I want to be in.

 

[Corven]

This is a gaming related question, I'm trying to hook my 360 to the internet so I can use xbox live, here's my problem, we use a wireless connection in this house and I have a wireless usb adapter for my computer, is it possible to hook the 360 through a router into my computer and feed off of it's wireless connection?

And no I can not buy the xbox wireless adapter it's too expensive with my current budget.

I believe so, I hooked my 360 into my computer and got the wireless working, I just don't remember exactly how.

Okay, that's good, thanks.

 

[Galletea]

On a completely separate note. I've been getting nightmares for a while now. I don't consider myself brave so when one of the scarier ones hit me I get freaked out and can't sleep. Anyone have any ideas on why I get these and how to stop them?

If your clock isn't waking you up properly then get the second and extremely annoying solution. Get the most pain in the ass alarm or if its a radio alarm then tune it to the crappiest music and see if being annoyed enough motivates you to get up. If you can't get motivated to get up, try waking up earlier and going for a jog. I walk/jog to my bus stop a half hour away and since I've done that waking up has gotten easier.

I imagine your nightmares are related to your unease relating to your parents' divorce and the stress that has put you under. I don't think there is a way to prevent them completely, but make sure you have some time before you go to bed to clear your mind somewhat, or do something relaxing that doesn't involve much thinking, like listening to music.

Actually the going for a jog idea is pretty good. I think there are chemicals released when you exercise that make you feel happier, endorphins or something I'm not sure.

 

[xitel]

On a completely separate note. I've been getting nightmares for a while now. I don't consider myself brave so when one of the scarier ones hit me I get freaked out and can't sleep. Anyone have any ideas on why I get these and how to stop them?

Don't force yourself to sleep. If you lie there for 30 minutes and can't sleep, get up. Walk somewhere else, read a book or something for 15 minutes, then try again. If you go to sleep stressed you will be more likely to have nightmares. Anything you can do to wipe your stress out before you sleep is helpful.

EDIT: Try a late night snack. Just a little light nosh, nothing serious. It's very relaxing.

 

[xitel]

Alright folks, I've got a new problem. I used to love chatting with my girlfriend on IM, but after several weeks of doing nothing but talking to each other every waking moment, I've lost that feeling. Not that I don't like talking to her, but I just don't look forward to it anymore. It's like it's become routine. Recently we've tried cutting it back so that we only talk 2-3 hours a day, but I have yet to see how that will work out. What do you folks think?

 

[AntiAntagonist]

But the real me is apparently an aggressively irritable asshole, while the alter me is a bubbly hyper empathetic...thing. Anytime I drop it even a little people take notice, almost always in the bad way like "we will never be friend anymore."

I'm working on improving my personality at the moment.

I recommend choosing which parts of your natural personality are useful. After that figure out what other traits are congruent. Then you can slowly switch that way.

I recommend making a list of roles/actors/characters with traits (even if a character only has one similar trait it counts) that you don't mind acting like. Take a little from each persona and make it your own.

I don't emote much, so I do this exercise once in a while.

 

[xitel]

But the real me is apparently an aggressively irritable asshole, while the alter me is a bubbly hyper empathetic...thing. Anytime I drop it even a little people take notice, almost always in the bad way like "we will never be friend anymore."

I'm working on improving my personality at the moment.

I recommend choosing which parts of your natural personality are useful. After that figure out what other traits are congruent. Then you can slowly switch that way.

I recommend making a list of roles/actors/characters with traits (even if a character only has one similar trait it counts) that you don't mind acting like. Take a little from each persona and make it your own.

I don't emote much, so I do this exercise once in a while.

I actually did this a while back. I was being told I was too nice, and too much of a quiet pushover by a close friend of mine, so I decided "hey, I'll start acting like other folks a little bit", and it just seeped into my personality. My main influence for a while was Gregory House. Yes, I became an utter asshole, and my friends loved me.

 

[AntiAntagonist]

Alright folks, I've got a new problem. I used to love chatting with my girlfriend on IM, but after several weeks of doing nothing but talking to each other every waking moment, I've lost that feeling. Not that I don't like talking to her, but I just don't look forward to it anymore. It's like it's become routine. Recently we've tried cutting it back so that we only talk 2-3 hours a day, but I have yet to see how that will work out. What do you folks think?

Depends- long distance relationship? Same town?

 

[xitel]

Alright folks, I've got a new problem. I used to love chatting with my girlfriend on IM, but after several weeks of doing nothing but talking to each other every waking moment, I've lost that feeling. Not that I don't like talking to her, but I just don't look forward to it anymore. It's like it's become routine. Recently we've tried cutting it back so that we only talk 2-3 hours a day, but I have yet to see how that will work out. What do you folks think?

Depends- long distance relationship? Same town?

Cross-country.

 

[AntiAntagonist]

Also I am in a long-distance relationship. Are there any tips on how to keep one going? Is anyone else in one?

I've been in LDR's before. The best thing to do is to share memories.

For my successful ones we played games. Some couples will rent or go out to see a film and talk about it after. Effectively it's building memories with a person.

I've tried the straight daily phone conversation thing. That usually doesn't work out well by itself. It shows both people that they are living separate lives and aren't living with one another.

The above work on conscious and subconscious levels, so it's not something that is easy to avoid.

 

[AntiAntagonist]

I got a problem, let's see if anyone can relate. How do you cope with everyone dismissing what you're passionate about? I was raised up in a halfway traditional Asian household (i.e. still Asian values but just a little bit of freedom), but I "betrayed" my family by loving to write vs. being an engineer. I'm eternally grateful to my family (because they supported me through college, after all), but I'm still treated like crap.

Friends of family don't miss the opportunity to sometimes brag about their profession (Doctors and engineers, mainly), other people are adamant about me going to law school (the only "prestigious" career path left to me), and many feel fit to be condescending whenever I voice an opinion (after I made an off-hand comment about Twilight to my sister (a big fan), she said "Well, Sorry I'm not as well-read as you are, I'm too busy BEING A DOCTOR" -_-).

Have any of you taken any flak for your career paths? My friends that usually cheer me on and give me strength are currently scattered around the world, so it's a bit of a tough period right now. Who in your life gives you hope/strength to follow your dreams despite all opposition? I think this has turned into a bit of a rant, so I'll stop now.

Never show anger back. I hate to use love as guilt, but there is an effective way to defuse the situation:

Be outstanding at treating those people well. Don't confront them, but when they laud their careers over you respond with ABSOLUTELY REAL warmth and pride telling them how happy you are for them. Don't be condescending about it and when you get together for you family consider making something just for them. I'm not sure what kind of writing you do, but you can try writing something for them, whether one short story per person or one story for the group.

Alternatively if they continue:

You can address the comment with them. Don't recall past conversations, simply respond that hearing your family member speaking down to you hurts. You would appreciate their support and understanding in this.

Thirdly (Somewhat ties back to the last part of the first bit):

Include them in your writing. Whether it's a reference in their field of study or referral to someone else.

 

[AntiAntagonist]

Cross-country.

Cool. Do you need me to expand the explanation I wrote for notyouraveragejoe?

 

[AntiAntagonist]

Adderall does "kick in", seeing as how it's not an anti-depressant, it's an anti ADHD medication. And that's where the problem comes from. I can't motivate myself to take them. My clock IS across the room, I do stand up and walk over to it, bu I still can't get out of bed completely. Oh well.

I have a problem getting up as well. Eventually I worked out that I needed three alarms.

Effectively each alarm wakes me up incrementally. One alarm 30-15 minutes before my intended wakeup, another halfway, then one at wakeup. I have to get up each time and turn it off and I don't have enough time to really get back to sleep.

 

[xitel]

Adderall does "kick in", seeing as how it's not an anti-depressant, it's an anti ADHD medication. And that's where the problem comes from. I can't motivate myself to take them. My clock IS across the room, I do stand up and walk over to it, bu I still can't get out of bed completely. Oh well.

I have a problem getting up as well. Eventually I worked out that I needed three alarms.

Effectively each alarm wakes me up incrementally. One alarm 30-15 minutes before my intended wakeup, another halfway, then one at wakeup. I have to get up each time and turn it off and I don't have enough time to really get back to sleep.

Yeah... well... Oh well. Classes are almost over anyways, and next semester I've got afternoon classes, so the point is somewhat moot.