Terminalchaos said:
Why do you word things like I'm the bully? (I could be misreading your words if so I apologize) I don't try to bully others. Sounds like you have issues with people in your personal life who claimed to be geeks and so you generalize your hostility to others who claim the same label.
If I came across that way then I legitimately apologize. I never meant to insinuate that you were a bully, or that you were personally responsible for the things I was criticizing. I was simply describing some of the people I had interacted with. When I say you or you're in my following response, I'm typically using it for the sake of discussion. I'm not actually talking about you specifically.
I totally disagree with what you say and I feel you just want to call us sexist and insult us.
I never said you were sexist, or that all geeks were sexist. What I said was that certain people that I knew, who identified themselves as geeks, were sexist, racist, and homophobic. And they were. I also said that I think that terms like "geek" are too vague, and shouldn't be used as an identifier. The vast majority of people fall under the umbrella of geek culture. It's mainstream now. People don't fall under simple identifiers, especially when they grow up and leave highschool.
People that are bullied don't magically get better and well adjusted and asking us to is dismissing our trauma. sorry but I won't dismiss the bullying many of us have endured so lightly. When you have an abused animal you don't put it to sleep just because its a bit jumpy and snaps at people unless you're heartless. You certainly don't blame the animal for the actions of those that abused it to the point it became antisocial. You try and get people to stop abusing them and try and help socialize those that were abused as best you can. Telling them to get over it and not be bullies themselves is sweeping the problem under the rug and blaming the victim. They shouldn't be bullies either, but they are better than the people that abused them to that state to begin with. If you wish to denigrate a group, denigrate the bullies that habitually pick on the weak and different.
Maybe you missed the part where I said I had been bullied. I get it. I really do. But I think a lot of people who have been bullied lack perspective. If you're a geek, and you bully someone, then why are you better then the guy who gets beaten by his dad and then bullies someone at school? A persons victimhood doesn't excuse their behavior. If anything, they should know better. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that people who seem cool, confident, or attractive have the same crippling anxieties that we do. A person isn't more justified in their abuse just because they have a troubled past. That victim complex is what I was criticizing.
If you bully someone because you think they are misogynist you're still a bully.
I don't think I called any specific person a misogynist. However, I will absolutely stand up to anyone who is racist, sexist, or homophobic. I will probably be very harsh, and I'm not sorry. I won't bully them, but I will absolutely stand up to that behavior. If they apologize, then I will forgive them. Anyone can change and improve. It's not bullying to stand up to someone who is mistreating others. And if a person bullies others, and then gets upset when someone stands up to them, then they need to reevaluate their behavior, because they are extremely self centered, and clearly only care about their own feelings. They have a victim complex, and they should seek to address that.
Falsely labelling people things to denigrate them is bullying. Please stop bullying geeks.
How
dare you.
Not getting social mores and saying offensive things because you do';t get why they are offensive isn't bullying. Not knowing how to interact socially because of being rejected or having social issues does not make you a bully.
Not necessarily, but I won't allow someone to carry on hurting others just because they don't understand social norms. If they have social issues then I'll obviously take that into consideration when confronting them, and I'll try to be polite, but I can't allow them to hurt others either. Some people are just assholes, though, and I'm not afraid to be more direct with them.
I think your last paragraph was ridiculous and insulting.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
The majority of geeks I grew up with were in the gifted programs and actually smart people. Objective testing showed that most of the geeks I knew were in fact smarter than average.
Again, I was talking about people I knew. What I'm arguing is that I don't think "geeks," as some kind of collective, are any smarter then any other group. That always struck me as a tad bit elitist. And, since most people today would fall under the geek banner, they obviously can't all be above average. In my experience most self identified geeks had pretty average intelligence. They were identified more by their hobbies then by their intelligence. I don't think liking anime and video games automatically makes you smarter then someone who likes watching football. Especially when the most popular anime right now is still Naruto.
You saying we just think we are despite testing is just you wanting to further your view that the people you wish to denigrate deserve it. You come across as a bit of a bully.
I never said that, but I'm really getting tired of you accusing me of being a bully for disagreeing with you. I wasn't even being rude. If that's how you feel, no wonder you think bullying is so prominent.
I'm sorry you never saw any of that. That is truly your loss. Geek culture, in my personal experience, is all those smart people who came together as a result of being excluded and systematically bullied. Maybe you encountered posers or something but the geeks I know and the new ones I meet tend to have intellectual interests in addition to their geeky passions.
How can you say that geeks aren't cliquish and exclusionary, and then accuse certain people of being posers? When people accuse others of being fake geeks, they are being cliquish and exclusionary.
Once you know them they are way less rude and exclusionary than the people that bullied and harassed them.
Yes, when you are part of the clique the people you are with seem less cliquish. But I'm sure the same is true for the jocks, or any other highschool group you care to mention.
You hit another human being because of words?
*shakes my head in disgust*
Yes, I did. I don't expect you to understand, but I'm not sorry. Bare in mind that I had known him since childhood, and this had been building up for some time due to his treatment of others. I had also stood up for him for years, and tried to improve his behavior.
You physically attacked another human being (whom you admitted was abused) because they didn't get social mores?
No, I hit him because he'd been mocking someone for several days, and I had repeatedly told him to stop. He wouldn't. Maybe I was wrong to lose my temper and do that. I don't regret it though.
What if it turned out your friend had Aspberger's?
He didn't. You seem to be reading a lot into this. He knew better, and he chose to behave this way anyway. There's a lot of history you don't know about, but that moment had been a long time coming. A sad end to what had once been a close friendship.
Your admitted proclivity to use physical force against those that perform in a way you disagree with makes me think you are a bully. The way you seem to try and justify bullies and attack geek culture does not dissuade me from this opinion. You complain about bullies yet you are one. I find that despicable.
I don't think I did any of those things. Evidently disagreeing with you makes me a bully. I'm not sure why. I think you're reading your own personal problems into my post, since you claim to see things that weren't really there.
I'm glad your former friend got over being friends with a bully. Your friend was an asshole, too but as you said you were bullied and then you thought it was ok to bully someone else because they said something you found offensive.
I haven't bullied anyone. Although, based upon the civility of your response, I have a decent understanding of your character.
I'm sorry your experience with geek culture is such that you seem to think we are stupid bullies. Those of us who have been harassed by popular bullies and bonded together over passions, hobbies, and intellect proudly claim the moniker of geek and contradict your bias.
I never said that. Please stop putting words in my mouth. That's quite disrespectful. Also, please stop trying to force everyone into groups. You seem to be stuck on a highschool view of the world, but the world doesn't really work that way. At all.
As has been said before, our personal experiences shade our viewpoints. The geeks I know have been very inclusive and accepting of others. A friend of ours came out as bi and was so nervous about how his friends would react. when he told his all geek gaming group, we didn't react the way he expected. We just pretty much said "ok and?" He asked why it wasn't an issue to us one way or the other. It turns out it is because it didn't seem to be relevant to us. We were glad our friend figured out something about himself and that he was happier. We didn't even say we supported his decision at first because it didn't need support. It was who he was and why would we get in the way of who he was if it didn't harm anyone else? We didn't get why he was so nervous until we found out the friends he did have that were popular and mainstream stopped being his friend.
Good for you. The people I knew would have called him a fag, and told him he was going to hell. Unless it was a girl, because then they could flirt with her.
In my experience mainstream popular people and jocks were the exclusionist bullies, who physically attacked and emotionally harangued anyone different. The geeks accepted us all for who we were.
You really have to stop labeling people. People are individuals, and you have to stop forcing them into groups. Instead, judge them individually. This is the main point I've been making. I've known jocks that were assholes. I've also known jocks who were popular, attractive, kind, and got straight A's. I've known "geeks" that failed most of their classes, were rude to everyone, and had no goals in life. You need to see the larger picture, and stop viewing "geeks" as some persecuted segment of the population, like blacks or Muslims.
What if the exclusionary culture you see is simply geeks trying to create a "safe space" from the people that have mocked and harassed them? Some groups that have been abused deserve respite but geeks don't?
Not if their attempt to feel safe causes them to act out against other people. Especially when their the ones causing the drama in the first place. They aren't defending themselves, their simply atacking others, and then using their persecution as a shield to deflect honest criticism. If a person can't stand fair and honest criticism, then why are they dishing it out in the first place? What you're actually asking for is a double standard.