Your worst joke
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Unless this joke is supposed to be funny on some wierd level that I am not getting... An elephant weighs vastly more than that...poptart123 said:
So, Little Red Riding Hood is on her way to her grandmother's house with a basket full of goodies, and can't help feeling like she's being watched. Sure enough, she looks over her shoulder to a fallen log, where she sees a pair of wolf ears sticking over.
She calls out, "Oh, big bad wolf! I see you!" The wolf runs off.
Riding Hood begins walking again, and after about five minutes, feels a familiar presence. She looks around again, and sees the wolf's tail sticking out from behind an old oak tree.
She calls out, "Oh, big bad wolf! What a lovely tail you have!" The wolf runs off.
Running behind on schedule, Riding Hood takes up a light jog on the way to her grandmother's house. After a few minutes, notices the wolf's snout sticking out from behind a pine.
She calls out, "Oh, big bad wolf! I can see you!"
The wolf shouts back, "Would you stop doing that?! I'm trying to take a shit!"
She calls out, "Oh, big bad wolf! I see you!" The wolf runs off.
Riding Hood begins walking again, and after about five minutes, feels a familiar presence. She looks around again, and sees the wolf's tail sticking out from behind an old oak tree.
She calls out, "Oh, big bad wolf! What a lovely tail you have!" The wolf runs off.
Running behind on schedule, Riding Hood takes up a light jog on the way to her grandmother's house. After a few minutes, notices the wolf's snout sticking out from behind a pine.
She calls out, "Oh, big bad wolf! I can see you!"
The wolf shouts back, "Would you stop doing that?! I'm trying to take a shit!"
this one is ok,
a woman walks into an icecream parlor and asks the man for chocholate,he says they are out, shes ok then i want chocholate, again, the man says they are out, the man tells the woman to take the F out of chocholate and the woman says but there is no F'in chochlate. Finally the man says "Thats what ive been trying to tell you!"
a woman walks into an icecream parlor and asks the man for chocholate,he says they are out, shes ok then i want chocholate, again, the man says they are out, the man tells the woman to take the F out of chocholate and the woman says but there is no F'in chochlate. Finally the man says "Thats what ive been trying to tell you!"
Any number of dead baby jokes comes to mind here, but I like to think I'm above those, so here's my next worst:
What do you get when you cross an elephant with science?
--> I don't have a damn clue.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with science?
--> I don't have a damn clue.
if you mean worst like most fucked up then it's either
what would Martin Luther king be if he was white?
Alive
or
What did the blind quadriplegic child get for his birthday?
Cancer
if you mean worst as in groan inducingly bad then
Hey you heard they're making a sequel to crackdown? its called crack up it's supposedly a very funny game.
what would Martin Luther king be if he was white?
Alive
or
What did the blind quadriplegic child get for his birthday?
Cancer
if you mean worst as in groan inducingly bad then
Hey you heard they're making a sequel to crackdown? its called crack up it's supposedly a very funny game.
A man walked into a bar carrying a shoebox and walked up to the bartender. He said, "If I can show you something you've never seen before would you let me drink here as much as I want when ever I want for free?" The Bartender replied, "Well you can surely give it a shot, but I warn you. I have seen a lot things." So the guy takes the lid off the shoe box and inside is a six inch man playing a small piano. The bartender is shocked and says, "Well that is definitely something I have never seen before. Alright you can drink here when ever you want and as much as you want for free. Just I want to know where you found the six inch man." The Man replies, "You see I found this Genie who granted me one wish and the poor guy thought I wished for a six inch pianist."
Sorry its crass but that's all I can come up with right now.
Sorry its crass but that's all I can come up with right now.
In Russian drama what is the difference between comedy and tragedy? In a tragedy everyone dies, in a comedy everyone dies laughing.
Did you hear about the blind man who picked up a hammer and saw?
What did the mother buffalo say to her boy as he left for school? Bison.
Did you hear about the blind man who picked up a hammer and saw?
What did the mother buffalo say to her boy as he left for school? Bison.
What about Holocaust jokes? Does it help that I'm Jewish?
I'll assume no anyway. Though that's an injustice to my people. We had to suffer through the Holocaust, I'd like to think we atleast earned the right to joke about it.
But instead I'll just share my favorite joke of all time (which isn't a Holocaust joke, it's a Hitler joke, and thus isn't offensive to anybody, and if you are somehow offended by this amazing joke then as I said I'm Jewish so piss off):
Why did Hitler kill himself?
--
He saw the gas bill!
!!
I love that joke.
My second favorite joke is a Polish joke but I'm not Polish and I don't want to offend anyone and it doesn't really fit the topic of this thread, it's really funny but isn't particularly bad so I'll restrain myself.
There's also atleast one really funny Holocaust joke I really want to tell (one I learned on this site actually) but as I said I'm restraining myself from Holocaust jokes.
I'll assume no anyway. Though that's an injustice to my people. We had to suffer through the Holocaust, I'd like to think we atleast earned the right to joke about it.
But instead I'll just share my favorite joke of all time (which isn't a Holocaust joke, it's a Hitler joke, and thus isn't offensive to anybody, and if you are somehow offended by this amazing joke then as I said I'm Jewish so piss off):
Why did Hitler kill himself?
--
He saw the gas bill!
!!
I love that joke.
My second favorite joke is a Polish joke but I'm not Polish and I don't want to offend anyone and it doesn't really fit the topic of this thread, it's really funny but isn't particularly bad so I'll restrain myself.
There's also atleast one really funny Holocaust joke I really want to tell (one I learned on this site actually) but as I said I'm restraining myself from Holocaust jokes.
Some of my favorite jokes are pick-up lines.
Here's one.
"Excuse me, does this wrag smell of chloroform to you?"
The other.
Me: "Check out this watch. It has magic powers."
Pretty Lady: "What does it do?"
Me: "It lets me know what kind of panties you're wearing."
Lady: "Really, now. What kind am I wearing."
I put my ear to the watch.
Me: "It says you're not wearing any."
Lady: "No, I'm wearing a pair."
Me: "Hm." I prod at the watch. "Damn thing must be an hour fast."
Here's one.
"Excuse me, does this wrag smell of chloroform to you?"
The other.
Me: "Check out this watch. It has magic powers."
Pretty Lady: "What does it do?"
Me: "It lets me know what kind of panties you're wearing."
Lady: "Really, now. What kind am I wearing."
I put my ear to the watch.
Me: "It says you're not wearing any."
Lady: "No, I'm wearing a pair."
Me: "Hm." I prod at the watch. "Damn thing must be an hour fast."
