Your worst joke

[Syndef]

If Kobe Bryant had a kidney stone, would he pass it?

A drunk is pissing in the street. A police officer arrives and yells to the drunk "What the hell are you doing? There's a public bathroom a few feet away!"
The drunk replies "But officer, I can't piss that far."

 

[skorpion352]

A man walked into a bar carrying a shoebox and walked up to the bartender. He said, "If I can show you something you've never seen before would you let me drink here as much as I want when ever I want for free?" The Bartender replied, "Well you can surely give it a shot, but I warn you. I have seen a lot things." So the guy takes the lid off the shoe box and inside is a six inch man playing a small piano. The bartender is shocked and says, "Well that is definitely something I have never seen before. Alright you can drink here when ever you want and as much as you want for free. Just I want to know where you found the six inch man." The Man replies, "You see I found this Genie who granted me one wish and the poor guy thought I wished for a six inch pianist."

Sorry its crass but that's all I can come up with right now.

xkcd ftw

 

[anister]

How do you spot a blind man on a nudist beach?

It's not hard. . .

 

[Blow_Pop]

ok and because i'm a natural blonde and so far no rules against them my worst:

how do you tell a blonde has been on the computer?

there's white out all over the screen

of course if you hear my dad tell it he changes blonde to the phrase "my daughter" even though i've never done that.

thank you that is all
*bows*

 

[ICantBelieveItGoesBoom]

Did ye hear the one about the wall? You'd never get over it.

I dare anyone to make something worse.

I'll sure try: Did you hear the one about the dustbin?

Don't worry it's rubbish

 

[LiberMortis]

(I...just...don't get this one...I really want to, but can you explain it?
A flying mouse ate a hot dog, so the other flying/crashing mouse needn't worry? :? )
Anyway...

Its my worst joke, it never makes sense

 

[hero in flames]

Whats worse... 9 dead babies in one bin or one dead baby in 9 bins

 

[OBE001]

Okay i couldnt be bothered checking if someone had posted this:

what do you call a sheep with no head, legs, or tail?


a cloud

 

[hero in flames]

Q)Whats the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
A)you dont wear boots to jump on a trampoline!

 

[kiwisushi]

who invented fire?
Some bright spark ... definitely amongst the worst jokes ever

 

[Fairee]

What do you call a sheep with a gun????

Lambo.

Working with kids you pick up some weird stuff.

 

[zauxz]

The aristocrats. Need I say more?

 

[timb133]

The Bush Administration

Ba dum tcsh

My worst joke? My sex life. (ba dum tish)

2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.

Ba dum tish.

 

[Spacelord]

Ok this one's pretty racy and terrible, therefore: spoiler warning!

Spoiler: You probably don't want to read this...

Two guys meet up after an especially wild night.
One says to the other "oh man, I was so drunk last night, I blew chunks!"
to which the other dude replies "That's no big deal man, happens to the best of us."
"No, you don't understand", the guy says, "Chunks is my dog!"

 

[TheColdHeart]

Two of the worst I know would probably be

Whats brown and sticky...a stick.

or

What do you call a man with no arms...shitty bum.

 

[Tentunf]

What is better than seeing a woman wrestle?
Seeing her box

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat Minor

A priest, 2 rabbis, 3 blondes and a midget walk in to the bar, bar tender says "what is this? a Joke?"

And with that, I am off like a prom dress.

 

[I Am Pigeon]

Knock knock?
Who's there?
My panther.
My panther who?
My panther falling down.

 

[Shadow Law]

This one comes from the late great Mitch..."Every fight is a food fight if your a CANNIBAL" LOL

 

[ssgt splatter]

lol i randomly thought up this joke and said it to a girl on halo 3.

"If you were trapped under a pile of ice cream, I would eat you out!"

[groan] that's corny. I hope she took it well.

 

[ssgt splatter]

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

This one came from a movie and I don't get it: What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass.

How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

Did you check the up dock?
Up dock, what's up dock?
Nuttin' what's up wit you? nyuk nyuk nyuk! [groan] that's so bad.