Your worst joke
- Thread starter BBLIZZARD
- Start date
Really messed up joke.
If you get offended do click the spoiler just read this retarded joke:
What is the difference between Windows 98 and Windows XP?
Eight years
A women goes to the doctor for a check up, the doctor comes back and says "I have good news and bad news." She says "tell me the bad news" to which he replies "You have polio and a good 5 weeks to live." She then asks what the good news is. "YOUR PREGNANT!........Oh wait...."
If you get offended do click the spoiler just read this retarded joke:
What is the difference between Windows 98 and Windows XP?
Eight years
Well,one time I made up a joke,and said it to my friend.This is it...
"Two Jews walk into a bar.They both get drinks,then chat a bit.When they leave,the second Jew gave a dime as a tip,to which the other replies,'Woah,is it a special night or something?You left a big tip!'"...My friend started calling me a Nazi after that.
"Two Jews walk into a bar.They both get drinks,then chat a bit.When they leave,the second Jew gave a dime as a tip,to which the other replies,'Woah,is it a special night or something?You left a big tip!'"...My friend started calling me a Nazi after that.
Stevie Wonder was asked in an interview is it bad been blind,
he said "it could be worse i could be black"
-told this my mate he said who's stevie wonder so we all just laughed at him lol
and why dont ducks tell jokes...cause they might quack up
he said "it could be worse i could be black"
-told this my mate he said who's stevie wonder so we all just laughed at him lol
and why dont ducks tell jokes...cause they might quack up
I think Pip managed thatChromeAlchemist said:The_root_of_all_evil said:Seriously...do you want me to start?
I did enter a competition to see which one of my puns would be declared the worst, entering ten puns all at the same time. I thought one of them might win but unfortunately no pun in ten did.I would like these men injured.Shapsters said:
Haha, it's funny because it's true.The_root_of_all_evil said:I think Pip managed thatChromeAlchemist said:The_root_of_all_evil said:Seriously...do you want me to start?
I did enter a competition to see which one of my puns would be declared the worst, entering ten puns all at the same time. I thought one of them might win but unfortunately no pun in ten did.I would like these men injured.Shapsters said:
Justice is served, once again. ;¬D
A pan of muffins are put into an oven. One of the muffins said, "Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?" another muffin replies, "AHH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
A preist, a monk, and a rabbi are out fishing. Suddenly, the preist looks up and says "I'm hungry! I'm gonna get a cheeseburger." and with that he jumps off hte boat, walks across the water, and out of sight. Several minutes later, he returns, walking across the water, cheeseburger in hand. The monk looks at this and says, "You know, I could really go for a coke", and he jumps off the boat and goes walking across the water. Again, he returns after several minutes, a coke in hand, and walks across the water to jump into the boat. The rabbi thinks this is such a good idea, that he decides to grab some fries for himself. He jumps over the side of the boat...and immediatly sinks. The preist turns to the monk and asks "Think we should've told him where the rocks were?"
^__^
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I think thats highly unfair for reasons you know -.-WittyName said:
But fine. Have a cookie.
*Throws it at Wittyname's face.*
Why did the ant go in the water?
Because it wanted to die.
That joke was posted in a school newsletter. I kid you not.
Because it wanted to die.
That joke was posted in a school newsletter. I kid you not.
Why did Tony the tiger get convicted?
He was a cereal killer.
I actually made that up. I'll admit it. Awful.
He was a cereal killer.
I actually made that up. I'll admit it. Awful.
I heard a couple of those 'physics jokes'Lukeje said:
An atom walks into a bar, and he's surrounded by all these little electrons.
He kicks one, sits down, and turns to the barman.
he says "Look, I'm being followed around by all these stupid electrons. They're really getting on my nerves!"
The barman turns to him and says "Oh, stop being so negative!"
Another atom walks into the bar and says "Hey, has anyone seen some electrons? I've lost mine!"
The barman says "Are you sure?"
The atom replies "Yes, I'm positive!"
A grizzled, bearded, old, peg-legged, pirate of a man walks into a bar with a small lizard on his right shoulder, and says to the bartender:
"Bartender, give me a Hard Lemonade. And another for me pet newt, Tiny."
The bartender quickly gets to pouring both drinks, but pauses thoughtfully (as he's apt to do) and asks the man across the bar:
"I don't mind pouring these drinks, for you and your charming and charismatic pet newt - but I've got to ask. Where did you ever come up with such an original name like 'Tiny?'"
The weathered, windswepped, sea-legged, and eyepatched old man looks the bartender in the eye with his one good eye and he says:
"Oh, because he's my-newt."
(In case you missed it, the punchline is funny because the phrase "my newt" sounds like the word "minute" which means tiny or small. This message has been brought to you by the Society of Over-explained Punchlines S.O.P.)
"Bartender, give me a Hard Lemonade. And another for me pet newt, Tiny."
The bartender quickly gets to pouring both drinks, but pauses thoughtfully (as he's apt to do) and asks the man across the bar:
"I don't mind pouring these drinks, for you and your charming and charismatic pet newt - but I've got to ask. Where did you ever come up with such an original name like 'Tiny?'"
The weathered, windswepped, sea-legged, and eyepatched old man looks the bartender in the eye with his one good eye and he says:
"Oh, because he's my-newt."
(In case you missed it, the punchline is funny because the phrase "my newt" sounds like the word "minute" which means tiny or small. This message has been brought to you by the Society of Over-explained Punchlines S.O.P.)
What has 100 balls and fucks rabbits?
A Shotgun.
Why do the French plant trees alongside their roads?
So the Germans can march in the shade.
A Shotgun.
Why do the French plant trees alongside their roads?
So the Germans can march in the shade.
The film was Kung Pow (Enter the Fist) and both it and this joke are AMAZINGssgt splatter said:
Pedant-mode activated! Surely those should be the otherway round?Satki said: