Zero Punctuation: Aliens vs Predator
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
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Thank you for actually telling the truth. Most reviews/ers were so caught up in nostalgia that they forgot to mention how much the game really sucks.
I was really dreading this review but I think you went pretty easy on it.
I'm surprised you didn't point out how you just play the same 6 bloody levels for each character.
I'm surprised you didn't point out how you just play the same 6 bloody levels for each character.
Heh, I like how he draws the Xenomorph.
In other news I've been put on probation, probably deserved but it's the first telling off I've had, now I'll never get that Morpheus badge. Curses!
(Actually, I probably don't post frequently enough to be anywhere near it even If I hadn't got probationized...)
In other news I've been put on probation, probably deserved but it's the first telling off I've had, now I'll never get that Morpheus badge. Curses!
(Actually, I probably don't post frequently enough to be anywhere near it even If I hadn't got probationized...)
I think he's right about the graphics part, things aren't as scary these days because the graphics are so good, things were scary in the early days of gaming (OoT, Resi Evil, Silent Hill) partly because the graphics were shit
What the hell is it with all these remakes lately? Has the creativity-eating virus become terminal? Wolfenstein, Tomb Raider: Anniversary, the new Alice in Wonderland (or, from the look of the trailers, Alice in Middle Earth) film and now Alien vs Predator. What I find particularly irritating are those with the exact same titles, like A in W, not that i was ever interested in the original A in W to begin with but what does that mean, "Forget the original, it never existed, THIS is Alice in Wonderland and THIS is Alien vs Predator!"?
And then there's Dante's Inferno; God of War copy-pasted except for the tried and true levelling system replaced with 1 that forces you to tediously grab and absolve all those zombies in order to get holy experience instead of just giving us the holy experience for hadouken spamming them to death and the lovably homicidal Kratos replaced with an IDIOT who failed to grasp the simple truth that he broke his promise to 'forsake all pleasures of the flesh' the very instant he made it!
One thing's for sure: Todays video game companies are far too fucking big!
And then there's Dante's Inferno; God of War copy-pasted except for the tried and true levelling system replaced with 1 that forces you to tediously grab and absolve all those zombies in order to get holy experience instead of just giving us the holy experience for hadouken spamming them to death and the lovably homicidal Kratos replaced with an IDIOT who failed to grasp the simple truth that he broke his promise to 'forsake all pleasures of the flesh' the very instant he made it!
One thing's for sure: Todays video game companies are far too fucking big!
Now I saw people complaining about how Yahtzee does nothing new in his videos. I have to make an observation that could be added to that pile of complains which is: Is it me or is he slowing down lately? This video I could catch every word, and he wasn't even going the fast pace of his other videos.
The review was great though.
The review was great though.
I liked the avp games of old and have found the newer one to be a fair remake though i agree with those who feel marine feels like a fully laden fridge to play as while the predator and alien both could use a third person perspective for planning your route, if we had've had a third person perspective id worry that it would have been afflicted by the habit of wildly swinging around as seems to be the rule with third person moments in otherwise fps style games.
I do think the review was a little hard but like a domestic abuse victim coming back for more beatings i will inevitably come back for more of yahtzee telling me everything i like is shit and how invalid i am for liking it.
Back when i first discovered yahtzee i invited him to give me babies, ah those heady days of new love and learning about one another. i was recently informed that idve needed some ovaries and whatnot, lacking the means to develop them ive had to just assume yahtzee will always continue shiting on my pic-nic with great aplomb and joy, i think until i can blackmail him with not seeing our children (imma make some lady parts out of clay(worked for god))im just going to have to accept this from him indefinitely, is it wrong to love the abuse?
beware the goth wielding clay ovaries >:
or say something nice about an rts just once please, validate me yahtzee lavish your approval upon me : D
I do think the review was a little hard but like a domestic abuse victim coming back for more beatings i will inevitably come back for more of yahtzee telling me everything i like is shit and how invalid i am for liking it.
Back when i first discovered yahtzee i invited him to give me babies, ah those heady days of new love and learning about one another. i was recently informed that idve needed some ovaries and whatnot, lacking the means to develop them ive had to just assume yahtzee will always continue shiting on my pic-nic with great aplomb and joy, i think until i can blackmail him with not seeing our children (imma make some lady parts out of clay(worked for god))im just going to have to accept this from him indefinitely, is it wrong to love the abuse?
beware the goth wielding clay ovaries >:
or say something nice about an rts just once please, validate me yahtzee lavish your approval upon me : D
I would love to spend some time at Chateau d'Biteyhead with Dribbles and Mr. Crabface... alas, this game sounds to be about what I figured it would be. That is to say, three massive piles of shameless franchise cash-in offal mashed together in one disc-shaped crapstack.
Haha, glass teatowels and asphalt milkshakes. Yum. This game held absolutely no interest for me, apparently all the fun is in multiplayer, but Yahtzee being the social recluse that he is, he won't have experienced it. My friend at work keeps trying to make me buy it, but even on a 25% discount it isn't appealing. I suppose if you're a fan of the franchise it's a must-have, but I've not heard great things about it anyway.
Well huzzahs to you.HK_01 said:
They say small simple goals constantly achieved keep the spirit going.
This is probably the one time i can ever honestly agree 100% with Yahtzee, really AvP had so many shining points that it's a shame it turned out the way it did.