Zero Punctuation: Assassin's Creed 3

T3hSource

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Mar 5, 2012
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Yes,stabbing!Stabbing was what AC1 did best of them all.You can counter stab,but you can't block that way,you can chain stab,you can wall jump stab,run stab and the classical walking surprise stab,which I never use because guards are always watching you and then you have to run off.And not to mention you always get that "sharp blade shoved in your flesh" sound,not some mechanical sound of the hidden blade unfolding,like it's a fancy toy.
This is also why AC2 and so on started a trend that put me off: diversions,from a river to an entire OCEAN of diversions,why?Because it's an open world game.I guess they never managed to do anything significant with the whole "open-world" aspect of Assassin's Creed.Littering sidequests like it's an MMO and having to resort to collectibles seems like bad design decisions to me.

EDIT: The only way I'll be swayed to even look at footage of AC3 is if there are at least some good assassinations.
 

Domogo

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Aug 7, 2012
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Yahtzee you charismatic stallion you've done it again. way to move past all of the cultural haterage and on to the faffing! (a word i didn't here very much of surprisingly)
 

Thaluikhain

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Apr 4, 2020
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Heh...I too automatically assumed it'd be excitingly explaining how evil Britain was.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Aug 8, 2007
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This is what happens when your desire to be different from the last game make you forget the last game existed.

Kinda sad, but then again the Ass Creed series was never my cup of joe.
 

Ed130 The Vanguard

(Insert witty quote here)
Sep 10, 2008
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So the game should be called Farmville: 1780 instead of Assassins Creed.

I liked the AC series (to the point of dressing up as Altair at conventions) due to the assassinations.

I guess I'll go back to playing Dishonoured.
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Aug 8, 2007
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An here I was all ready to make a joke justifying the Assassins participating in the revolution because they wouldn't want to be part of a nation where everything is De-creed.

But it appears the series already has been :(
 

Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
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Sounds like pretty much what I expected. Except for Connor being so bland. I expected after people liking Ezio maybe they'd learn a thing or two.

Well, that's why you don't expect much form game devs.
 

GenGenners

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Jul 25, 2012
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AssCreed 3: Faff-fall.

OT: Why is money always an issue in these games? Yahtzee mentions it in every review.
Come on Ubisoft >_>
 

Astro

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Feb 15, 2012
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Good. I hated this game. And I like the series. Looks like you can lock this one into your bottom five for this year, YZ.
 

maximalist566

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Jan 10, 2012
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I feel that AC should have changed name to "Middle Ages economy for retards" somewhere around Brotherhood. Got all games except this on Steam sale - great first, nice second, mediocre Brotherhood and can't make myself finish Revelations. Can't find a reason to buy third also without 90% winter sale =)
 

Tony2077

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Dec 19, 2007
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i'm having fun with the game and i feel there is something missing from these videos lately oh i remember what it is humor
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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DVS BSTrD said:
An here I was all ready to make a joke justifying the Assassins' participation in the revolution because they wouldn't want to be part of a nation where everything is De-creed.

But it appears the series already has been :(
Enough with the lame wordplay at the end of every ZP. It's just getting pun-ful.
 

C117

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Aug 14, 2009
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This is why I still consider AC1 the best in the series. Okay, it was a bit basic. Okay, it was a bit tedious to grind all those quests in order to unlock the next piece of story. But in the end, the focus was on what is supposed to BE the focus on a game series about assassins: assassinating people! And trying really, really hard to get away from the guards when your cover is blown, because they actually pose half a threat to you in individual numbers, and will most likely pound you into meatloaf if you decide to fight against three or more at once.

AC2 was also good, but that was mainly because they introduced a new collection of toys and ways to assassinate people. Unfortunately, it was also the game that introduced the limitless amount of gold that the game is way too generous with handing to the player. This wouldn't be so bad, if only there was something that might validate hauling around 100.000+ bucks. But there wasn't really, because everything that was worth buying only costed around 10.000 bucks, and everything else was just various things that increased the amount of money the game would throw your way every half-minute.

And it has, sadly, only been downhill from there...
 

Roxas1359

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Aug 8, 2009
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The lack of the word "faff" in this review makes me sad, but I have to agree with Yahtzee when it comes to the direction the series has gone to. Now I'm still gonna get it but the last Assassin's Creed game I played was 2 which I absolutely loved. Now it seems that more of the stabby fun is in multiplayer and that shouldn't be the case in my opinion. Also I hate it when games give you an overabundance of money towards the end. The Fable games towards the end had me owning the entire damn kingdom and still have enough money to buy another one. I literally had to break every window I could to just spend it and even then I still had enough to buy another kingdom! Stop overloading me with money games and give me it in real life instead!
 

Alakaizer

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Aug 1, 2008
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Cut to Assassin's Creed 4, where it's some twerp descendant of Desmond reliving Desmond's experiences of reliving other people. You know someone at Ubisoft has brought that up as a possibility. Might rent this one, probably not though. Now I'm going to work on getting that platinum trophy in Okami.
 

Shoggoth2588

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Aug 31, 2009
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Excellent critique as always! Looks like I made the right choice when I stopped buying these when the third decided it didn't want a number or a new protagonist. Wait, didn't fans vote on this time period?! Oh well, even if AC3 was set in Ancient Egypt they probably would have still found a way to shoe-horn in boat racing down The Nile...
 

themilo504

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May 9, 2010
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personally I blame the games stupid call of duty releases schedule you see with every new game the team of multicultural people finds it more and more boring to come up with assassination missions so instead They design more and more side activities leaving less room for the actual assassinations.
thats what i think anyway im probbaly wrong.
 

Vertigo4321

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Jul 30, 2012
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You know what I really like in Assassin's Creed 1? Besides the stabbing I mean.
I really liked the philosophy behind it, as well as the characterization of the targets. If you read the Codex in AC2, Altair becomes really deep and though-provoking. The targets both in AC1 and AC2 had some depth to them. Okay maybe the AC2 targets were general assholes, but at least it gave you a look into WHY they were assholes.