Zero Punctuation: Borderlands

[Caiti Voltaire]

I suppose it's a matter of you and I finding different things to be enjoyable. While I'm not going to claim, at any length, that Borderlands is the ambrosia of gaming, it is very good. I completed 2 playthroughs and completed 95% of the quests, logging slightly under 20 hours. I'm not playing it currently, because I really feel that I've done all I care to do.

I do have two major complaints with the game. One is the Hellfire SMG, which is so ridiculously overpowered it breaks the game. And two, the multiplayer aspect is utterly pointless. In multiplayer you're either contributing and getting nothing, or not contributing and sucking up every gun, shield or mod that hits the ground. But like I say, this whole system draws heavily from Diablo II. Which you'd probably not be surprised to hear, suffers heavily from the same issue.

Still, I do feel that I got my money's worth. It was enjoyable, but I'll pass on the DLC.

If I had perhaps paid 20$ or 30$ for it I probably would have felt satisfied if not particularly fulfilled or otherwise consumed with the aforementioned ambrosia, but it was an expensive 67.99$ plus tax that I could have spent on much better games. I find my area gets the shit end of prices for new games, but at least I don't have to cope with the release dates Yahtzee does.

I think what really disappointed me is it was hyped up as having a lot of variety but the variety is really the same 30-40 ish items and handful of settings copypasted into oblivion, as I mentioned before.

 

[Weaver]

Borderlands got really boring; hence why it should be called bore-derlands.

 

[MagisterDark]

Yeh Borderlands was fun...for about 20 minutes. Any game that people say is good during the second playthrough has clearly done something wrong.

 

[Sean Strife]

I'm kinda curious to see when he reviews Dante's Inferno. You know, considering he fell victim to their marketing campaign.

 

[Daggermonkie]

i didn't like boarderlands because the lvls and monsters all started to look the same and many of the missions were mmmo-like and i didn't like it

 

[signingupforgames]

Now review Bioshock 2, Dante's Inferno, No More Heroes, MAG, White Knight Chronicles, Tits u know-goku vs capcom, and the other thirty. Yes i demand it. No to your question. I will never be satisfied now work for my amusement

 

[Something Amyss]

This seemed more like deliberately trolling the guys who were clamoring for it, knowing that this would rile up the fanboys.

I don't like Badlands, so it's not that I'm defending it. I don't even really object to the slamming the people who were harassing him. Though I rarely see people turning entertainment into shots at their fandom (rightly or wrongly) turn out well in the long run.

But this seemed less funny than usual. It had its moments, but it seemed contrived.

On the other hand, ENN didn't strike me as all that funny this week either, so maybe it's an off week for the Escapist or I'm in an off mood.

I'm curious to see what Yahtzee thinks about Mass Effect 2. Specifically, how he sees the changes from ME to ME2.

Borderlands struck me as a particularly shallow experience, covered up by claims of it being a FPRPG (and if it's an RPG, I'm a rocket scientist because I once toured NASA) and the usual "but it's better when other people are playing it" shtick. Yawn. Seems like if you love shooters and need to update, it's not bad. But otherwise, not so much.

 

[xyrafhoan]

I'm glad he tackled the subject of online multiplayer barely being better than playing with bots. Personally I can tolerate games that rely on multiplayer, but the only thing that makes it fun is being able to trash talk them while they're in the same room and distract them with my Wiimote waggling (Mario Kart Wii is a favourite amongst us) and general violence.

I WAS surprised to hear Yahtzee played WoW almost to the (old) max level. I played that game for about 5 days before I said "this is like a ugly, slow multiplayer Oblivion".

Also, I hope sometime soon we see some more games reviewed that are a little further off the beaten path. Perhaps a DS game? Perhaps a really old game? Something different from "kill everything" genre of games would be nice.

 

[Kajin]

What? No comment on the completely abysmal interface that completely lacks the ability to scroll down through the menu with a mouse wheel?

 

[NoNameMcgee]

I thought the game was 'alright', and I never bothered with Co-Op, I just played it single-player same as Yahtzee. It does get old fairly fast though, I had to play in short bursts. The ending was absolutely horrible and left me feeling cheated, and the replayability is basically non-existant.

For someone not interested in Co-Op and/or wants a good story, Borderlands should be left on the store shelf...

 

[aguywhoknowsaguy]

bring it on *****

 

[Durandal133]

This game was too cartoonish for me to reaally even take it seriously

 

[Benjeezy]

bring it on *****

You seem very angry about something

 

[WaffleCopters]

What shall we nag about next?

I reckon thats what the first two posts were suspended for.

 

[Bensavigear]

was i the only person who thought the actual combat was really awkward, clunky and rubbish? Makes me wanna go back 10 years and play Team Fortress in 320x240 with a mouse and cfg script

 

[Wulver]

Yahtzee hit the nail on the head.
When you aren't killing Vorhees wannabes on Steroids, you're killing Rakk whose only real distinguishing feature is that some are really big and others are really green. Same with the Skags.

Split-screen multi annoyed the HELL out of me!!!
If I wanted to access the fast travel-network in 2-player split, I couldn't see the whole menu and it took me a good 5 minutes to figure out!
The only thing that split-multi is good for is if you wanna level up a lower character quickly.

Borderlands has definately made me appreciate Fallout 3 a lot more.

 

[VaporFox]

This game was too cartoonish for me to reaally even take it seriously

Well, the funny thing is, in the early production of Borderlands, they were actually going with a more gritty/realistic look for the game, but I guess they thought they'd get grouped in as a Fallout 3 clone, and somewhere along the line they scrapped it and went with the more cartoonish cel-shaded game we see now. Hard to say if it was a good or bad move at this point.

 

[Wulver]

Also, I hope sometime soon we see some more games reviewed that are a little further off the beaten path. Perhaps a DS game? Perhaps a really old game? Something different from "kill everything" genre of games would be nice.

Unfortunately, it seems that the "kill everything" games are all that the market has to offer right now. Cooking Mama DS will probably have an unlockable Katana soon.

 

[antigodoflife]

What's BioShock 2's Australian release date? (and for that matter, No More Heroes 2)

Bioshock 2 has been out for 3 days ... i has the special edition =3 (me wanted the shirt from the rapture edition though =( )

No More Heroes is released somewhere this or next month.

 

[Chaotic Neutral]

Haven't played the game, but I notice that for all the people bitching about how Yahtzee's not a "real critic," he and I have fairly similar tastes in gaming, and he generally does point out quite a few legitimate problems with the games he reviews.

In this case, I can safely say that a poor story, lack of enemy and mission variety, and a poor menu system would bug the shit out of me. And I like my games to have a good single player option too; if I were the sort of person who got on well with my fellow man, I'd probably be drinking a lot, having anonymous sex in public places, and watching American football, perhaps all three at the same time, and thus I wouldn't have the time for long, grind-style gaming. The man also made it very clear that the game didn't appeal to him for months before he finally caved to peer pressure; the fact that he used the review to emphasize just how much everything about it (and you, fanboys) pissed him off is not a surprise.

But if we're badgering him into reviewing games we know he'll hate just so that we can see exactly how much he loathes something we love, how about getting a review of BlazBlue? It can sort of be justified as reviewing the original to see if the sequel is worth getting, his self-admitted hatred of fighting games will undoubtedly come into play (providing the lulz), and I want to see his reaction to ICE CARZ!!!!! And Nu-13. JESUS CHRIST NU WITH HER SWORDS OH GOD IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS.

Hey, not that you need anyone telling you how to do your job, but since you caved in to do a Borderlands review I'll go ahead and tell you that you could write a fine XP article about how Borderlands could turn its sequel into a proper triple-A title. Anyone could list the obvious stuff - fully voiced and animated characters instead of paragraphs, more varied settings, more than three different missions - but I think I speak for all of us when I make an appeal to your intimidating machismo and god-like prowess by saying that only a manly man such as yourself could satisfy our curiosity by sharing your unearthly amount of wisdom.

Do you really think appealing to his sense of humility will work? I mean, I guess it was worth a shot, but I really can't see him being moved by that sort of thing.