Zero Punctuation: Console Rundown

[Hawgh]

yes, damn these demoniacally evil (the)Escapist henchmen who, after being rewarded something as pathetic as a prestigious award, seizes the opportunity to throw their arms in the air and perhaps even congratulate themselves a little over their achievement.

Truly, their only reason for doing this would be to attempt to skip out of the services they owe us AS IS ORDAINED BY THE LAW and, not an entirely justified self-promotion riding on the back on the award they have won.

NO, wait. It must be that they are trying to fool us into thinking we have received the service they owe us by posting, under cover of night and mist, an episode of Zero Punctuation which was indeed, and this may shock some of you, not an entirely new episode.
The text that states in plain and obvious words that the video is indeed a repost chosen because they rather liked and are a little too busy being showered with rewards and hookers to put up a new one, could only be a meaningless illustration of the webpage, not to be read or taken into account AT ALL.


So it must be. For the Escapist staff could not possibly have anything in their life but service to us glorious consumers, and betrayal to fuel their fiendish plans.

 

[Vicioussama]

so wait.. now we're gonna have ZP reruns?

 

[BlueInkAlchemist]

Congrats to YZ and all of you fun folk at the Escapist on your Webby's.

At first I was miffed because X-Play didn't show a ZP preview last evening, and I had to suffer through more of Morgan Webb pretending she's funnier than a three-legged dog trying to cross the road before getting creamed by an oncoming garbage truck. Then I came here and realized there was no preview because the folks from the Escapist are too busy being awesome. Or at least thanking us, the somewhat oblivious (and, in my case, bloated and gun-toting) consumer, for considering them to be awesome.

By why Console Rundown? If I were list my top 3 favourite ZPs, Console Rundown would not make the list. Why not Tomb Raider Anniversary [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/22-The-Witcher]? All of these are at least a few months in the past, and are of much better quality than Console Rundown, which feels like YZ's faceless Escapist masters gave to him as a filler assignment while they waited for a game worth reviewing to be released in Australia. But at least we can find these gems and other treasures I've mentioned just by clicking our mice a couple more times. Unless, like me, you are American and therefore lazy unless a cheeseburger or the promise of boobies is being dangled within your cone of vision.

EDIT: I have included links to the aforementioned better installments of ZP to make things even easier for my fellow Americans as they reach for their carbonated high-calorie soft drinks. I also included a reference to tits, because that's comedic, and apparently more acceptable in America than bloody violence, if the difference in trailers for the film adaptation of Wanted in Russia [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4pWuFv48Zk] are to be believed.

 

[The Anonymous Mr P]

Self-righteous morons to the left of them, self-righteous morons to the right of them, self-righteous morons to the front of them, volleyed, and flame-warred!

Good lord, it seems everyone has to be a melodramatic, faux-sarcastic arse lately. Either jumping to the immediate protection, or act like a general ass-hat. Yes, it's true that the Escapist doesn't have to provide us anything. I honestly think most of us would just say "Oh well, that's a bit disappointing" if they'd just said "Sorry, we're at the Webbys, can't make one this week". The objection is simple:

RERUNS!?

I honestly cannot fathom the so-called logic that led to them honest-to-god thinking that they should suggest a rerun to us. On the internet. It has to be a joke. And then, to top it off, completing the circle of turning the media back into from whence it came, they chuck on an advert almost doubling the length of the video. Amending adverts onto the end or beginning, loading separately, I can understand, and don't really mind. I can even understand those flocking bustard pop-ups inside the video, annoying as they may be. Splicing in an advert in what I can only presume is an attempt to convince people to watch the video again for an amendment is just... moronic.

And for what it's worth, I don't give five bloody tosses about Young People Fucking, the fantastic film showing only in freaking America!

I mean, good God, this is simple stuff. If we wanted a re-run, we'd click on the fecking link. Welcome, people, to the freaking internet!

In any case, can't wait for next week's.

 

[chewy888]

this is an old video he allrety made this 1 weeks ago dam

 

[BlueInkAlchemist]

Good lord, it seems everyone has to be a melodramatic, faux-sarcastic arse lately.

Why, Mr P, I have no idea what you mean.

In any case, can't wait for next week's.

Neither can I.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Personally, after the unadulterated crap like Kung Fu Grip and Video Game Theatre, I was really looking forward to my weekly bile fest from Yahtzee.

Then I got linked back to a video I could have seen any day of the week.

Now I'm sad

Seriously Ben, you're gonna have a porch full of milk if you don't actually let people know you're not coming to work for a week.

 

[Colodomoko]

Thank God. I was about to march over here and do this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Egzw2w25khU.

I felt that repeated vid was the Owl.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

And for what it's worth, I don't give five bloody tosses about Young People Fucking, the fantastic film showing only in freaking America!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0913445/
Certification:
UK:15 | Finland:K-15 | Canada:16+

I honestly thought this was a joke...

 

[Glademaster_v1legacy]

Well that was a dissapointment as Yahtzee had already done this exact video ages ago.
It is understandable though as they r off accepting their reward but u think they wud have just not done a video.

 

[Sacman]

WTF wasn't this out already?!

 

[Colodomoko]

And for what it's worth, I don't give five bloody tosses about Young People Fucking, the fantastic film showing only in freaking America!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0913445/
Certification:
UK:15 | Finland:K-15 | Canada:16+

I honestly thought this was a joke...

(deleted by user due to ********.)

 

[Deadwings]

A rerun?! Couldn't you have just given us like a 30 second filler clip instead?
Well, congrats on your webby I guess. If I would have known it would have cost us a week of Yahtzee I would have voted against him.

 

[Gahars]

Awesome installment, however one little detail: there is a mario game on Wii, Super Paper Mario.

And Mario Galaxy, but when he made the video, it was before the game was released.

Great video though.

 

[BlueInkAlchemist]

And for what it's worth, I don't give five bloody tosses about Young People Fucking, the fantastic film showing only in freaking America!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0913445/
Certification:
UK:15 | Finland:K-15 | Canada:16+

I honestly thought this was a joke...

Holy Shit, what the fuck is this!!!!!!!!

And why is the Escapist pushing this so hard? If Ben was in it somewhere and therefore all of his female fans would clamour to the video store to get a peek at his bare Anglo-Australian arse, I'd understand that.

 

[klarax]

why release an old video? That's just F@CKING LAZY.

get to work and make new video's instead of:

a) watching the Europe Football Competition
b) masturbating heavily (personal favorite)
c) being dead

 

[BlueInkAlchemist]

why release an old video? That's just F@CKING LAZY.

get to work and make new video's instead of:

a) watching the Europe Football comp
b) masturbating heavily (personal favorite)
c) dead

Ah, but that's just the thing. The entire Escapist staff is in New York, tossing each other off over the success that garners a Webby award. And why do your own wanking when someone else can do it for you?

 

[Jack Sheehan]

Anyone impatient for more Yahtzee should check out the latest Australian Gamer podcast. Its the second one with Yahtzee in it and he is every bit as funny as in ZP.

http://www.australiangamerpodcast.com/mp3/Australian_Gamer_Podcast_123.mp3

 

[Stammer]

Wednesdays are the pinnicle of my week. I'm a little down that he didn't make us a video before he went to the Webbys.

/cry

/wrists

 

[aesir]

Instead of a repeat, one of the first 2 reviews (the darkness and fable i think) that were done freelance before Yahtzee was hired by the escapist should of been posted; one would assume, not everyone who watches the current videos released every week, has seen them and they would be "new" to the escapist's line up. Just a thought.