Zero Punctuation: Crysis

[Morghus]

Yahtzee: Too rushed inbetween breaths at points, with the clipping which kind of messed up the rhytm of it, and you sounded like you were too late for an appointment with the dentist, or possibly running away from him. Pick the one that fits.

As for Crysis itself I thought it was beautiful, with small things like personalizing your gun being oddly fun and stealth-wedgies being a kick all the time. My only lasting complaints is that it was too easy, even on hard, and far too short.

 

[CMadness]

Excellent REVIEW YAHTZEE
you hit the nail on the hammer before this came out everyone was like"oh this will be one of the best games ever its going to set a new standARds

Well it did...anybody know a game with better graphics.In fact can anybody think of the game that can top Crysis within the next 5 years?

Actually, there's been rumors (I sort-of trust the person I heard it from) about a Far Cry 2 that'll be based on an uppgraded CryEngine with even more detailed physics!

Oh, and about whining comps;
My comp has a 1.81Ghz AMD single core, 1GB RAM and a GeForce 6600, and it looks completely awful! (I actually bought it in advance of geting a new comp). The sharders could best be described as 8-bit bmp's copy-pasted from Soldat and given a lower opacity in photoshop elements 3.0. Well, that 8800's gonna be appreciated.

Farcry 2 isn't using Cryengine 2, Ubisoft Montreal has their own engine that they're building Farcry 2 on.

 

[thebrink]

Excellent REVIEW YAHTZEE
you hit the nail on the hammer before this came out everyone was like"oh this will be one of the best games ever its going to set a new standARds

Well it did...anybody know a game with better graphics.In fact can anybody think of the game that can top Crysis within the next 5 years?

In 5 years I can name you 50 games that topped crysis on graphics. 5 years ago the unreal2-engine had unbelivable graphics and if you look at it now it looks like plastic.

what are you guys talking about? Unreal 2 was an awful game, it wasn't even particularly great in the graphics dept. I remember Unreal Tournament 2003 looking/feeling better than Unreal 2...and being much more fun mostly. Beating Crysis in graphics in the last 5 years? no, not really, but that is the way things work. Personally I thought that Prey and Quake 4 were excellent contenders because they don't require a monster PC and still look very nice, but either have large outdoor arenas. Crysis just kicks ass but is still going to get much flak on forums because many people can't run it.

Yes, Seriously - the ONLY reason that people are dissing Crysis is because they cannot play it or are console players that can't play it. Never have I seen an FPS put down because it looks good, half the point of an FPS is that it be as realistic as possible, and now that it's here and people can't run it, they're going to put up a stink fest around it. There's the distant possibility that it's the Bioshock/Half-Life crowd that prefer non-shooting FPS games (both contain shooting, but both prioritize other elements) but I love Bioshock/HL immensely, and still love Crysis, so I have no idea who has a stick up their ass.

 

[Jim Moreno]

Another superb review. I'm just waiting for someone to ask, "Who's Columbo?"

 

[Singing Gremlin]

Yet another addition to the excellent reviews that I have been watching since I stumbled across your heartfelt expression of love for Jericho while hauling my sorry carcass around the internet. I am now going to submit myself to the likelyhood of being screamed at, vomited upon and hurled out of windows by suggesting something to review, as well as making almost certain it won't be, but I will attempt to at the very least have the good grace to spell properly while I'm at it.

Much as I know you detest the genre, I would quite like to see an EvE online review. Since you nearly sent me into a coma by voicing the opinion that World of Warcraft was probably about as good as MMOs are going to get I have wanted to say this and have finally got my arse in gear to do so; WoW is mindless and a big pile of poo. EvE is actually intelligent, and, horror of horrors, a game you actually have to put concious thought, decision making and pre-preperation into, as well as having actual risk. But you'll probably hate it anyway. Ah well, I tried.

 

[Crate]

In my opinion you could'ave done better. I've seen all the previous reviews, and this is the first time I feel inclined to comment (Didn't before, mainly because I'm lazy and never bothered to register, but also because you already have a fair share of worshipping fans who'd be more than delightful if you'd put your lettuce-disguised cock in their salad).

It seems as though you were more looking for things to trash than actually paying attention to the story, which you usually do, as you are a self-proclaimed "games r art hippie". Anyway, there was a few more details and bugs you could'ave said more about. So really it was a bit short review for a game so stuffed with ups and downs.

What I did like however is that you noted the telescopic x-ray cybervision these Korean soldiers appearantly has been enchanced with.

Yes the graphic is impressive, but half the review shoulden't have to be about it and the sort of super-technological wonder of a computer you need to play it. I mean you didn't even mention what makes this game unique in comparison to other games, nor did you say a word about the aliens, or the actual plot.

I don't expect you to even read these comments you're flooded with 24/7, but it feels nice to have said it.

Keep up the good work, Yahtzee.

-Crate

P.S to all the fans who deeply disagreed with my opinions, and want to give me the lip-trashing of the century, you're more than welcome to just P.M me, so that we'll keep the post spam free. =)

 

[SacrificiaLamb]

The AI was pretty damn stupid, especially when using cloak - you could basically sit on someone's face without being detected. The physics were also screwed up rather badly - bouncing/jiggling bodies and debris that would often fall through the ground or bounce up into the sky.

The first half was ok, very much like Far Cry - open, non-linear, etc. The second half was complete trash, nothing but a shooter on rails with some annoying spawn-in-a-box sequences. The end boss was so stupid it was actually funny.

Cloak, shoot, hide, cloak, shoot, hide, repeat.

 

[scaramoosh]

yeh crysis was only made good by the engine whibh tbh i don;t care about as i don't create mods.

 

[Psuedointellectual]

whats with all the ass kissing around here?

 

[Prodigs]

Why is it I can never get enough of your bizarre yet relevant imagery metaphors (apart from it being the highlight of your reviews...)?
Fantastic review, and it's just what I'd expected from Crysis, yeah the graphics are so good it could be labelled with a 'I can't believe it's not really real' stamp and sold to cover your burnt games (toast metaphor), but does it's gameplay actually bring anything new/exciting/original/groundbreaking/fun to a genre that constantly breaks it's own boundaries? (and proceeds to go back again..)

 

[SomeBlackGuy]

whats with all the ass kissing around here?

I don't see any ass kissing, mostly people commenting about missing things/Disagreement's in the review.

 

[IsYourBathroomBreedingBolsheviks]

 

[briantw]

Another entertaining review. I find myself looking forward to Wednesdays at work because I can take five minutes to watch a Yahtzee review and escape the tedium.

I also loved the inclusion of the Electric Six song at the end. Amazing band, especially live.

 

[Tumbler360]

Loved it, thank you for that review of Crysis. Kudos.

 

[SomeBritishDude]

Great review

This game sounds ok, but since my computer was nicked from the tip at my old school, repaired, and now doesn't have enough prosessing power to play pacman without blowing itself to Narnia (a loving rip off there) I somehow doubt I'm gonna be playing it anytime this century

 

[Flak3]

I personally think that this review is a bit of a lesser quality than the rest and in all his reviews he is constantly bashing games without any giving a good reason for it. Ussually He says " the game just plain sux" and that said he doesnt give any real information. In the last 30 bloody seconds he explain that the game is actually worth playing ladidadida although I do find it very humorus. But thats all hes trying to be, humorus, so really I watch these reviews for a laugh not an objective opinion.

 

[twisted86]

am i the only one that can't watch this video, i can watch all of his others but when i press play on this one it just sits there ignoring me i been trying for 3 hours now

 

[Yerocha]

One question I keep having: who is that "Bland Average Guy" that keeps appearing? I know I've seen him before, but I'm not sure where.

Also, now that Crysis has been reviewed, I'm wondering what is actually left to review of the sudden game boom?

 

[Leliel]

Woo, Shadow of the Colossus reference!

If only two-year-old games were eligible for review, I'd love to see a ZP take on that.

 

[Corbineau]

Utterly off-topic... best forum name ever.