Zero Punctuation: Dante's Inferno

[spartan773]

Just a quick question, will you be reviewing no more heroes 2?

not yet because michael atkinson likes to fuck over austrailian gamers, so give him some time as the game goes through the standard flogging most games seem to get while being prepared for PAL releases.
you do have to know he's in Australia, so he can't review a game the moment it comes out in the US or UK. It doesn't work that way dude.

 

[ChaosGenesis]

Haha. Right hand joke. So awesome.
I wanna know what the deal is with the hairy bum thing though :S

 

[widowspeak]

*sigh* Here we go again with the difficulty setting wank. . .

Other than that, made me laugh harder than I have all day. I pretty much knew this game was going to be rubbish from the get-go, but it was confirmed after I played the demo at GameX. I'll give their marketing department kudos, though, for going above and beyond. Some of that stuff was downright genius. Still won't touch this game with a 39-and-half foot pole, though.

 

[Little Duck]

Just a quick question, will you be reviewing no more heroes 2?

not yet because michael atkinson likes to fuck over austrailian gamers, so give him some time as the game goes through the standard flogging most games seem to get while being prepared for PAL releases.
you do have to know he's in Australia, so he can't review a game the moment it comes out in the US or UK. It doesn't work that way dude.

I know. I just want to know if he plans to. I'm going back to mr Wii in a few weeks and I'd like to pick it up, but if it's not on par with the original I'll leave it be.

 

[linkages555]

When for the love of existence are you going to review silent hill shattered memories !!!?????

 

[spartan773]

Just a quick question, will you be reviewing no more heroes 2?

not yet because michael atkinson likes to fuck over austrailian gamers, so give him some time as the game goes through the standard flogging most games seem to get while being prepared for PAL releases.
you do have to know he's in Australia, so he can't review a game the moment it comes out in the US or UK. It doesn't work that way dude.

I know. I just want to know if he plans to. I'm going back to mr Wii in a few weeks and I'd like to pick it up, but if it's not on par with the original I'll leave it be.

Fuck yeah, get it. there's tons of changes and has been getting decent reviews all across the board... BUT before you even fork out the 40 bucks for the game... why don't you rent a copy and try it?

 

[Hashbrick]

I'll save you guys the trouble of playing the game to understand the hairy bum...

Spoiler

You will encounter:

A lot of ass
Too much wang
And a fair share of boobies
Yet twats are non-existent

Doesn't say much for the Devs sexuality, or my shocked face when I was stabbing/slicing Lucifer while his dong flopped around. /facepalm

 

[agrajagthetesty]

I'm going to display an unwarranted amount of nerdiness here, and admit that by far my favourite line in this review (and my favourite line in a while, too) was "Dante's Inferno the poem is history's first recorded work of self-insert fanfiction." That made me laugh like an absolute lunatic.

 

[7ru7h]

Ha, just watched it.

Like my right hand on a sunday night - IT BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF ME made me laugh hard. Really good this week.

Totally agree... I was laughing so hard I had to pause it and go back about 30 seconds because I couldn't hear a word over my laughing...

Anyway, good review as always (actually, better than usual). No surprise that Dante's Inferno isn't worth playing. Yet another game felled by shoddy design and EA's hype machine.

 

[Tolerant Fanboy]

Spoiler

Yet twats are non-existent

I thought lust demons attacked you with vagina tentacles...

Also, part of me wonders how much of this review's vitriol was engendered by that Rickroll box, but I know Yahtzee's not that vindictive. He's much more vindictive than that.

 

[Vicioussama]

Clearly lust and wind go together cause lust rhymes with gust lol

 

[Ruagh]

I knew it! I smelt 'God of War clone' the instant I started playing the demo!

 

[ewhac]

I rather liked the throwaway tableau he drew at the beginning with Abraham about to spike Isaac, with $(GOD) floating in at the last minute saying, "Just kidding."

 

[Supernova2000]

Here i thought Yahtzee was going to mention the stupid recurring "why did you break your promise" dribble from Dante's wife when the explanation is simple: If he'd unplugged himself from his wife BEFORE promising to 'forsake all pleasures of the flesh', thereby breaking it the very nanosecond he made it, then maybe she wouldn't've gone to hell in the 1st place! But then, how the hell is that her fault? In his 'infinite wisdom', god decided to punish the wife for the sins of the husband? I only played the demo and realised the full version is completely redundant as long as my God of War doean't go missing. Plus, unlike Dante, Kratos wasn't a complete numpty. Beatrice: "why did you break your promise?" Dante: "I don't understand" although, to be fair, the blood flow to his brain was minimal at the time.

 

[RickRoll]

Well said, Yahtzee, well said! I agreed with every single thing you said in that video.

 

[BloodyThoughts]

"It's like my right hand on a Saturday afternoon"
"Why is that"
"It beats the hell out of me!"

Great show, sport!

Stop stealing what I was going to say!!!

 

[HellbentCrusade]

Played the game. It wasn't horrible but it was in no way as fun as GoW. The only thing DI did better than GoW II was graphics and that is expected from a next gen game.

 

[Deathfish15]

Disagree with ya, Yatzee. This is atleast better than REHASHING God of War (into a 3rd). I'm sick of sequels and am glad that EA decided to try a new IP, even if the mechanics are identical to GoW.

 

[H311DUCk]

That was one of the funniest ones I've seen.

Two things....

1. Sounds like you wank it too much.
2. Glad I didn't buy this.

You can never wank to much

 

[Little Duck]

Just a quick question, will you be reviewing no more heroes 2?

not yet because michael atkinson likes to fuck over austrailian gamers, so give him some time as the game goes through the standard flogging most games seem to get while being prepared for PAL releases.
you do have to know he's in Australia, so he can't review a game the moment it comes out in the US or UK. It doesn't work that way dude.

I know. I just want to know if he plans to. I'm going back to mr Wii in a few weeks and I'd like to pick it up, but if it's not on par with the original I'll leave it be.

Fuck yeah, get it. there's tons of changes and has been getting decent reviews all across the board... BUT before you even fork out the 40 bucks for the game... why don't you rent a copy and try it?

Why would I do that if buying it outright is universaly cheaper?