Zero Punctuation: Dead Space 2

[SirCrimsonFox]

Haunted houses by the way have gone the same way in the past five years and now each and every one contains a scene in a child's bedroom. Of course they usually put a crying girl in it and some unscary clown going "BOO!". Heck way back in American McGee's Alice (another total shit game that tried to "BE SCARY") did a lot of babies nailed to things and such. (yawn)

I actually loaded up Doom 3 recently to try it out on my new computer and it's the same crap that you speak of. Instead of all the monsters coming out of air vents, they come out of "monster closets", a delightful phrase I found online to describe EVERYTHING that happens in this game. You walk down a hall, you see some weapons or a computer, you pick it up which triggers a wall to open behind you and out pops a monster that gives you a backscratch with its teeth. Wash rinse repeat. What are they doing in there? If they were in a closet with no door, why haven't they starved to death? If all these scientists were so bloody behind in their work maybe they should have gotten on with doing their work instead of building all these secret doors and closets. Have the monsters even told their parents yet that they are coming out of...oh never mind...

 

[Perfice]

Finally someone else that feels the same way about games especially horror games. When I first played Dead Space there were bits of it and I mean bits that I thought "oooh this could get creepy. This could get good." and I just kept waiting. But it never did. It tried to beat me over the head and say LOOK AT ME I'M SCARY! AREN"T YOU SCARED YET? LALALALALALALALA LOOK I'bve got SKINNY LEGS AND SHARP TEETH RAAAAAAAAAAR! Someone was SO SCARED OF ME they scrawled a mesasge in BLOOD on the wall. You've never seen THAT before!" and by never I mean you've seen it so much that it's transcended horror and was then used in comedies to make fun of what is distinctly UNfunny and UN scary about horror that isn't horror. Meanwhile the gameplay really just blew. It contained the one thing of FPS's that will always turn me off....level design that gets me lost. I don't like having to retrace my steps 50 times to find the ONE corridor I didn't see before and even with the help of the glowy line pointing the way it still messed up and occasionally pointed to an inanimate object signifying I should twiddle it but would occasionally get it wrong and point to the WRONG object so that I ended up juggling some pencil sharpener instead of actually pushing the elevator button. OH that's an elevator button? It looked like shit!

LOL, WTF? I played the game twice already and I never had any kind of problem finding out where to go. There's a glowing line on the ground that tells you the ONLY direction you can go. The elevator buttons are big glowing screens in dark rooms that say PRESS ME. That is hilarious man, I gotta tell ya. You gotta get friggin telescope glasses or something because this is one of the easiest games I have ever played in 15 years to know where you need to go.

EDIT :: Thanks man, that was more hilarious than the entire review was.

 

[Robyrt]

Loved the last text sting. Theoretically Isaac is using "industrial tools," but really they just slapped a new name and a boxy look onto a bunch of futuristic weapons. I'm reminded of Infamous, which just renamed all your standard FPS guns with a lightning theme.

Come to think of it, there's no real reason for the mining ship in Alien to have portable flamethrowers. If you want to protect yourself against space pirates, guns work a lot better. If you want to burn things, you'll want it on an industrial scale.

 

[Kyouki1980]

Sadly I have to agree with good old Yahtzee today. Dead Space, either one, was not terrifying in the least. Dont get me wrong I really enjoyed the first one but it was about as terrifying as a pet dog farting itself awake then it looks around wondering what the hell it was that woke it.
SPace is the perfect place to set a horror piece. Why? Cause you have no where to run to. ABSOLUTELY NO WHERE! Your stuck and you no it. SO its either find a way out or get horribly mangled. Or in the case of one of my favourite movies "Event Horizon" (GO WATCH IT NOW) the characters face the horrible prospect of being sucked into a world of nightmare and abject torture. Oh wait... that was a spoiler. AH well, you guys are never actually gonna go watch that movie anyways so it doesnt matter. If you DO watch the movie now then good on you ^_^ Your now my bum chum.
WAIT! DOnt go readers! I had a point! Ok it was exactly the same point that Yahtzee made about dead space being NOT scary and how the monsters keep leaping out of the SAME vents everytime so you always knew when they were coming making the game even less scary.... oh... oh dear it seems I just made my point. Oh well. Nevermind. Its ok, you can go now. Nothing to see here.
Bye bye. *Waves*

*Whispers to self* Tossers >_>

^_^

 

[Kyouki1980]

Loved the last text sting. Theoretically Isaac is using "industrial tools," but really they just slapped a new name and a boxy look onto a bunch of futuristic weapons. I'm reminded of Infamous, which just renamed all your standard FPS guns with a lightning theme.

Come to think of it, there's no real reason for the mining ship in Alien to have portable flamethrowers. If you want to protect yourself against space pirates, guns work a lot better. If you want to burn things, you'll want it on an industrial scale.

Would Napalm be considered a space based mining tool do you think? ^_^

 

[Gyrefalcon]

Human Centipede reference FTW!

Also, another excellent write-up. Looks like the game could be fun, if not over-the-top in-your-face with the whole horror bit.

Yeah, *shudder*. You probably did more to spook me with that Human Centipede reference than the actual Dead Space 2 game could.

I am noticing a serious trend lately to not have "silent heroes". I seriously think this trend can be directly traced back to you, Yahtzee! And in some cases, it is good.

I'm looking forward to Bioshock Infinity with the voice of Garret from the Thief series piping in again as I await the next actual Thief game. And then in other cases it is bad. Bland or horrid voice actors that make you want to mute the game are not a benefit. Sometimes you really do want to imagine what your character would sound like rather than have it pre-picked for you. But, for good or ill, I think it will be the big trend this year. And I think you get all the credit for it.

 

[ksn0va]

I've been traumatized by Amnesia recently so playing something like Dead Space 2 was sort of uplifting. Might not be horror enough for most but the presentation and gameplay got me hooked.

 

[Duffeknol]

I'm so glad Yahtzee agrees with me completely when it comes to Dead Space. Now I can rub TWO video's in the face of everyone who calls Dead Space 'super f-in scary bro'.

That is a very good thing.

And they can rub a thousand in yours.

Your move.

None of them are as funny as this review

 

[beema]

Yep, have to agree with this assessment over all. Dead space is basically like a slasher movie. It tries to market itself as horror, but really it's just gore and cheap surprises.

 

[DrTrent]

I'm glad Yahtzee understands how horror works. Everyone seems to get it wrong nowadays. It's not about showing the biggest scariest monster up close and threateningly personal. It's about implying danger and letting the viewer's mind run wild with thoughts of what could be lurking around the corner. Nothing is scarier than what your imagination can conjure up.

 

[Tarik94]

The ending is so freaking true I mean the text at the end.

"WHAT THE HELL KIND OF CUTTING TOOL FIRES IN A SHORT NON-CONTINUOUS BURST" This was my question about the first game and I agree fully about it!

 

[RockyMotion]

The Heavy Rain finger chopping scene comparison was a good point. It actually felt difficult for me to do it.

I'm glad Yahtzee understands how horror works. Everyone seems to get it wrong nowadays. It's not about showing the biggest scariest monster up close and threateningly personal. It's about implying danger and letting the viewer's mind run wild with thoughts of what could be lurking around the corner. Nothing is scarier than what your imagination can conjure up.

Yeah, I felt more frightened with Demon's Souls because of the tension and sense of vulnerability than with Dead Space. There is no music except in boss fights. Even in a well lit room when there are no enemies you can always imagine a tough guy coming around the corner. They don't even hide, it's like they feel they are tough enough to kill you in a couple hits. Which they usually do.

 

[vonseux]

Agreed at 4:00

I think the developers made a really bad choice for this sequel... replacing the Survival Horror with Gore and ridiculous animation was something a 7 year old would do.

 

[Rycerzyk]

"WHAT THE HELL KIND OF CUTTING TOOL FIRES IN A SHORT NON-CONTINUOUS BURST"

scissors

cut... cut... cut...

 

[Zudarkness]

Nice review.

He should of touch it on how my mom would hate this game. Funny thing My Mom liked the commerical for this game and told me to buy the game. This is coming from a 62 year old woman yet.

 

[Dumb_Joe]

I laughed my A** watching the review lol

 

[Dutch 924]

I think the first game to have a frefalling/dodging stuff scene was Ratchet and Clank 3. Correct me if I'm wrong though.

 

[Android2137]

My new favorite Zero Punctuation moment is the part about the monster jumping out of the vent and the protagonist going "AHHHH! I'M LATE!"

 

[Tontomanzz]

That analogy to the child wanting attention was one of the best and the funniest. ?Are you scared yet, what if all the skin rolled off my face, are you scared yet. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa....? LOL. That?s why I found Dead Space one to be an action game and not a horror game.

 

[Sarpedon]

My new favorite Zero Punctuation moment is the part about the monster jumping out of the vent and the protagonist going "AHHHH! I'M LATE!"

That was the monsters going "AAAH IM LATE" not Isaac >.>