Zero Punctuation: Duke Nukem Forever (for real this time)

[Samcanuck]

This was a good review. It was balanced and fair, and as a fellow Duke fan of yesteryear I am glad to see a fair and candid review of the game.

I can't believe you can't give money to the strippers...

Forshame.

 

[Giandroid]

'Twas magic, sir. Not as frothing-at-the-mouth as I thought it would be.

 

[Assassin Xaero]

I liked it. >_>
Sure it wasn't amazing, but I went into it knowing it wouldn't live up to the 14 years of production or the old ones...

 

[Joshimodo]

That was the funniest ending to a review that you've done Yahtzee. Bravo.

Right up there with the beginning of Fallout 3's review.

 

[GameMaNiAC]

Gee, considering all the scathing reviews this game's gotten across the web, I thought he'd evicerate it. If you ask me, he went too easy on it.

But isn't Yahtzee the guy who does the opposite of what everyone seems to do? If a game is good, he usually tears it apart. If a game is bad, he sometimes shows mercy.

 

[Lunar Templar]

This is the first time I've heard him sound kinda depressed about being forced to hate on a game.

i picked that up to, might explain why it lacked the fury ah-la 'kain and lynch 2' i was expecting, cause i was really expecting him to pull this game apart, ah well, good video though

 

[roostuf]

Well thank fuck Yahtzee did this or else i wouldn't of known this game was bad.

OT: how did he get this into Australia

 

[BlackWidower]

Gee, considering all the scathing reviews this game's gotten across the web, I thought he'd evicerate it. If you ask me, he went too easy on it.

But isn't Yahtzee the guy who does the opposite of what everyone seems to do? If a game is good, he usually tears it apart. If a game is bad, he sometimes shows mercy.

We talking the same Yahtzee?

 

[metamorphosis18]

I was... somewhat surprised that Yahtzee chose - CHose, mind you - to play a FPS on a console instead of a PC - particularly given how everybody's already noted the PC version is much, MUCH better -
but it was still a much better, and more realistic, review than he's given in years.

 

[mikespoff]

Good review, I liked that he actually took the time to dissect what was wrong with it rather than just saying "this sucks" over and over in colourful ways. A very well-structured review.

Of course, it's not going to affect by buying choices since I'd already decided to give DNF a miss, but good entertainment anyway!

Some people claim that Yahtzee's popularity has been dwindling... I don't think those people try to access the site on the days he releases a video...

Ugh...

As much as I love Yahtzee....I absolutely fucking HATE how slow the site becomes at this exact time of the week.

Seriously. I Just....CAN'T load this goddamn video. Oh Balls to it, I'll watch it in the morning!

...that's certainly another advantage of living in Australia - it comes out in the middle of the night, so by the time you wake up and watch it the traffic spike is over!

 

[Jezzascmezza]

I was expecting more of a rant for this review, but I still enjoyed it.
The sheer honesty was brutal enough.

 

[Lullabye]

I think this is the single most disturbing review he's released so far. I mean, by the end he had me almost teared with the sincerity of the idea of helping Duke kill itself.... I think he was actually serious this time around.

 

[Whoatemysupper]

Who is that guy that appears in almost all of these reviews? (obviously I am not referring to stick Yahtzee I mean the picture used as Dukes cover)

He's some guy in a German photographer's collection of people making blank faces. What has art come to?

I was also disappointed a bit because I was expecting something more colourful like the earlier reviews. I'm afraid they're getting a little dull, but that could be because I'm getting used to it.

 

[Draconalis]

Some people claim that Yahtzee's popularity has been dwindling... I don't think those people try to access the site on the days he releases a video...

Ugh...

...that's certainly another advantage of living in Australia - it comes out in the middle of the night, so by the time you wake up and watch it the traffic spike is over!

Heh... I didn't even know that message made it through. I gave up and moved on.

 

[ucciolord1]

There was real passion here. Like Yahtzee was coming through with an emotion other than abject hatred (references to Portal and SH2 notwithstanding). It was touching. It was also hilarious.
And I think I may have shed a tear or two.

 

[LJJ1991]

I knew a game like this was going to be bad. I've heard one bad review after another and quite frankly, I'm not surprised.

 

[thisguyfromthere]

but it was still a much better, and more realistic, review than he's given in years.

If you come to Zero Punctuation looking for a realistic review, you have a fundamental misunderstanding of what Yahtzee tries to do in these videos.

Yeah I listened, and I don't believe him. I think he's trying to save face after making a joke review and getting egg all over his face when Douk actually came out. I don't buy it.

Oh okay, so that is how you think "Duke" is spelled. Wow. First time you screwed it up, I chalked it up as just a really weird mistake.

 

[Eveonline100]

is it me or is yatzee an DN3d fan it as every one else said he was disappointed it feels asthough he may at one point been a very loyal fan of Duke Nukem all in all this was actullay kinda of depressing.

 

[Mydnyght]

"I expected it to dissapoint, just not this much."

You and everyone else. Am I the ONLY person who knew this was going to suck ass? Moreso than what most people anticipated?

Well, before, I had thought this: Duke Nukem Forever will be one of two things:

1) one of the very greatest games of all time, or
2) a total, absolute piece of motherfucking shit

One or the other. Nothing in between the two whatsoever.

Does that count?

By the way, Yahtzee, +50 points for a (modified) "Laugh-In" reference in the credits.

For those who don't know, one recurring bit from "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In" was this "Fickle Finger of Fate" award. I honestly don't know much about it; I simply know of that name.

EDIT: Also, a Jaws remake without a shark? Now THERE'S an idea for a movie!...

...

Uwe Boll would make that.

 

[Levethian]

I don't think we should mourn Duke Nukem yet. DNF's release is like the end of very long awkward pause in conversation; It doesn't matter how it ends - at least now Gearbox and 3D-Realms can make something better rather than agonize any further about Forever.