Zero Punctuation: Duke Nukem Forever (for real this time)

[Lazy Kitty]

Long loading times you say?
I haven't noticed them at all...
The loading times are only about a second (maybe 2 seconds) each...
Oblivion has longer loading times...
Especially with all the mods...

 

[Valdsator]

It's a shame Yahtzee didn't play the PC version. Obviously the content isn't different, but the controls, graphics, frame rate, and loading times are a lot better.

 

[Imp_Emissary]

This is the first time I've heard him sound kinda depressed about being forced to hate on a game.

Yeah. This was depressing. I really didn't think it would be like this. I am almost more sad than entertained. I didn't think that even Yahtzee didn't think the game would be this bad. Yahtzee is all about never having hope that a game will be great, but DNF made him have hope....and then killed it just like the twins.

 

[funguy2121]

My God, really? I said this, on here, not a week ago: Duke Nukem has damned near N64-era aliasing, and just like the fuckin' Wayans Brothers movies, pointlessly refers to things and calls it "satire" because its "writers" don't know what a simulacrum is.

"Where's the beef?"

See? I'm a brilliant satirist!


...and that, Escapists, is how you do sarcasm.

 

[SageRuffin]

Wow... he actually sounded like he was about to start crying in the middle of the video.

 

[Samcanuck]

This was a good review. It was balanced and fair, and as a fellow Duke fan of yesteryear I am glad to see a fair and candid review of the game.

I can't believe you can't give money to the strippers...

Forshame.

 

[Giandroid]

'Twas magic, sir. Not as frothing-at-the-mouth as I thought it would be.

 

[Assassin Xaero]

I liked it. >_>
Sure it wasn't amazing, but I went into it knowing it wouldn't live up to the 14 years of production or the old ones...

 

[Joshimodo]

That was the funniest ending to a review that you've done Yahtzee. Bravo.

Right up there with the beginning of Fallout 3's review.

 

[GameMaNiAC]

Gee, considering all the scathing reviews this game's gotten across the web, I thought he'd evicerate it. If you ask me, he went too easy on it.

But isn't Yahtzee the guy who does the opposite of what everyone seems to do? If a game is good, he usually tears it apart. If a game is bad, he sometimes shows mercy.

 

[Lunar Templar]

This is the first time I've heard him sound kinda depressed about being forced to hate on a game.

i picked that up to, might explain why it lacked the fury ah-la 'kain and lynch 2' i was expecting, cause i was really expecting him to pull this game apart, ah well, good video though

 

[roostuf]

Well thank fuck Yahtzee did this or else i wouldn't of known this game was bad.

OT: how did he get this into Australia

 

[BlackWidower]

Gee, considering all the scathing reviews this game's gotten across the web, I thought he'd evicerate it. If you ask me, he went too easy on it.

But isn't Yahtzee the guy who does the opposite of what everyone seems to do? If a game is good, he usually tears it apart. If a game is bad, he sometimes shows mercy.

We talking the same Yahtzee?

 

[metamorphosis18]

I was... somewhat surprised that Yahtzee chose - CHose, mind you - to play a FPS on a console instead of a PC - particularly given how everybody's already noted the PC version is much, MUCH better -
but it was still a much better, and more realistic, review than he's given in years.

 

[mikespoff]

Good review, I liked that he actually took the time to dissect what was wrong with it rather than just saying "this sucks" over and over in colourful ways. A very well-structured review.

Of course, it's not going to affect by buying choices since I'd already decided to give DNF a miss, but good entertainment anyway!

Some people claim that Yahtzee's popularity has been dwindling... I don't think those people try to access the site on the days he releases a video...

Ugh...

As much as I love Yahtzee....I absolutely fucking HATE how slow the site becomes at this exact time of the week.

Seriously. I Just....CAN'T load this goddamn video. Oh Balls to it, I'll watch it in the morning!

...that's certainly another advantage of living in Australia - it comes out in the middle of the night, so by the time you wake up and watch it the traffic spike is over!

 

[Jezzascmezza]

I was expecting more of a rant for this review, but I still enjoyed it.
The sheer honesty was brutal enough.

 

[Lullabye]

I think this is the single most disturbing review he's released so far. I mean, by the end he had me almost teared with the sincerity of the idea of helping Duke kill itself.... I think he was actually serious this time around.